Cutest Little Babymakers In Town

End Days

2011-08-17T08:39:00.005-04:00

Summer is now officially in its end days. S. has returned to the classroom to clean up, the tomatoes are starting to come in hard and heavy, which means canning them is inevitably right around the corner. And I've had a nervous lump in my stomach for the past few days, as my first back-to-school anxiety dream has seemed to set off waves of anticipation of the coming school year. This will be my 9th year teaching high school, a feat that was occasionally unimaginable when I started this profession, but am now proud of. It seems like I have myself a little career--so strange.

We had an amazing Rhode Island vacation this year. We went down there with a baby and came back with--a different baby, one that crawls everywhere, pulls himself up to standing, and has 5 (!) teeth already. Seriously kid--well, at least he's not attempting to take any steps yet. You can imagine that the last month has been full of fun with all these chompers breaking through, but we seem now to finally be getting settled down. Sleeping though--still for the birds, thinks Max. For that matter, Theo also rose at a sunny 6:30 every day of vacation--lordy. They were just getting us ready for the school year, I suppose.

Another amazing development? Theo actually started playing with Max! Well, kinda. But it is adorably amusing to watch them together now. If Theo's in the mood, he'll scramble all over the floor on hands and knees and let Max scamper after him. They'll sit on the floor playing (Max chewing on) with Matchbox cars together--which is just fine and dandy until Max crashes an intricate parking set-up that Theo has been working hard on. I love watching these brothers interact and grow and change with each other.

Now, vacation, a fleeting memory now as summer is dwindling:

Up a tree

By the end it became futile to try to keep him on the blanket, so in the sand he went!

Goofball

T. swimming at sunset

Twinsies--which is like, really ironic, right?

Daddy Dearest

2011-07-30T07:13:00.002-04:00

Well, I suppose that no matter now much you mentally prepare for the day when your fatherless son will start talking about having a daddy, it still catches you off-guard. Recently, Theo has been noticing daddies of all kinds---mostly because on his favorite show, Caillou, "Caillou has a mommy and a daddy." S. and I are straightforward, simple, and direct answerers of kid questions, so we simply said, "Yes, Caillou has a mommy and a daddy. You have two mommies," and go on to explain how some families have a mom and a dad, two moms, two dads, etc. Now he seems accepting of the fact that he has two moms and Caillou has a mom and a dad. (He also makes sure to mention that besides a "Mommy" and a "Mama," he also has a "Maxie-Jo" to throw into the mix.) Thank goodness we know other two-mom families so I can reference "so and so has two mommies, too." Of course this just reinforces the fact that we ought to make much more of an effort to make play dates with other queer families with kids that we know.

But the dad thing is stuck in his mind, you can tell. He mentions other people he knows who have daddies (us, for instance, or his cousin Jackson). I know it's natural and I know that the more direct we can be about this now, the more prepared we'll all be to tackle different questions later, specifically about donors, but still. We know he couldn't go on living in his little two-mama bubble forever, especially since he's going off to pre-school in the fall. But this marks a pretty significant step forward in Theo's consciousness of his existence in the world.

I am consistently in a state of wonder about how much children pick up from their environments without us never having directly taught them. It is so true that children are natural learners.

So, everyone--who has dealt with this issue? What did you say to your child?

three. which will probably be the amount of times i post this summer.

2011-07-23T20:33:00.003-04:00

I would be quite remiss if I didn't take a second to reflect on the fact that the reason we actually began this blog turned 3-years-old yesterday. Three. Years. Old. Three, and the few weeks preceding it, have been challenging. Theo is growing, changing, exploring, and becoming more and more independent each passing second. "No, me do it" is our new favorite phrase. "I help you, Mama?" a close second--in the kitchen, the garden, the playground. Potty training---oh yeah. We're still very much in the "training" phase of it. Pee in the potty? No problem! Poop has been much more elusive, as he still prefers to poop in his, ahem, pants. (Any solutions for that? Anyone?)

Ah. He exasperates us and amazes us all at once with this growing up business. He loves his little brother (except when he borrows his Matchbox Cars to chew on), singing, cars, puzzles, Caillou...the list goes on. But lists are boring. And since my blog is St. Nowhere lately, I guess I'll continue my trend of photo posting interspersed with occasional ranting by showing you what three looks like around these parts:

Happy Birthday Theo!

Flying kites in RI

Oh, brother

Swimming

Guitar hero

The Big Breastfeeding Post

2011-07-07T14:24:00.002-04:00

I've talked about breastfeeding here and there, but it is about time to talk about it for realz.

Max is 7-months-old. I never gave myself a limit, minimum or maximum, for how long I would breastfeed him. I figured, if I was able to do it, it would happen. If he still wanted it, and I could still do it, it would continue to happen. Now that we're on the other side of six months, we figure, let's make it to a year, right? Sounds like a good, round amount of time to be able to say, "I breastfed my son exclusively for the first year of his life."

Except, breastfeeding is really, really difficult for me, and maybe not in ways that other people have difficulty. Or maybe my experiences are common and people just don't want to talk about it because it's supposed to be all natural. But the truth is, I do not love to breastfeed a lot of the time. Since the beginning, I have had issues, be them oversupply (and a Max who isn't really hungry), undersupply, or most often (as in, every other week practically) plugged ducts and nipple pores and infections. Right now I am nursing a double-breast infection and a serious supply drop and a baby who apparently hates the taste of the antibiotics I have to be on because he hasn't nursed well in two days. Yet, he has not tasted formula. While this is a point of pride for many mothers, for me it just is what it is. We even tried to feed him formula once and he would have rather sucked on my empty boob, so that was that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have bfing issues but I've worked through them. I pumped religiously at work and at home to freeze enough for Max and even enough to give away to a mom and baby in need. I hope in the end I will be proud of all this, because right now, all I feel is annoyed at the whole process. BFing is supposed to be so beautiful, so natural, so lovely, but I have a hard time seeing that from this place I am in.

And yet, look what my milk has done. Oh, he does make my heart melt sometimes:

2011-06-27T16:45:00.002-04:00

So I just deleted this hugely long post whining about what Max cannot currently do. I fell into the all-too-easy mompetition trap--comparing Max to other babes of bloggers who were born around the same time he was. It's not good for either of us. Max is an individual who will do things on his own time. So, enough of that.

We're in the thick of potty training Theo. Oh, man. Okay, it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but not as good, either. What was I expecting? Ummm..maybe I didn't think through what a poop in underpants would be like. Or, cleaning pee off of the family room rug. Yeah. Gross. But...he is definitely getting better at "recognizing the feeling," as his Sesame Street potty chart that we read every single time we go into the bathroom says. Sigh. Hopefully we'll just get the whole deal over with shortly.

Now, boys, boys, boys...

With an ever-present truck

Earning his gymnastics medal

Max loves Sophie

Dreamboat

5 Seconds

2011-06-02T21:25:00.003-04:00

I have 5 seconds to spare--before folding up diapers and filling up water bottles and such for the next day. S. has strep throat and is tucked up away in bed, babies are sleeping, and I am watching "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" on VH-1 in an attempt to turn my brain off temporarily. We have been..busy. I can't even begin to describe the business. The end of the year is always like this. We take a deep breath, runrunrunrunningrun, and then--poof. It's over. You know, until summer school starts.

I have over 200 unread blog posts in the my G*ogle reader. WTF.

Tomorrow marks 6 months in the life of Max. His tricks are certainly not as advanced as other babies his age--he is a bit on the slower side of big physical development, but has superb fine motor skills, expertly gripping things in his tiny fists, bringing them to his mouth. He finally flipped from back-to-front, but he prefers sleeping on his side, snuggling his little blankie. Oh, my goodness, it is so cute. He can sit like a gorilla for a few minutes at a time, and is eating up a storm--huge bowls of rice cereal mixed with pureed squash or peas so far--yummy yum.

We started "sleep parenting" in earnest last week (sleep training sounds so awful) by letting him fuss in 5-minute intervals, not feeding him every single time he woke up, and doing a dream feed with rice cereal before midnight. It worked after a couple of nights, and last night? He slept through the night. Good stuff.

Mind you we never had to do any of this with Theo, so this not-so-sleepy baby is seriously new territory for the both of us.

Now, what I'm sure you've all been waiting for--updated pics.

P.S.: Ferris Bueller is kind of a bully to his BFF. What kind of message was this movie meant to send anyway?! Still love it, though.

Memorial Day red, white, and blue baby with Meme on the porch

Theo with his awesomely cheesy grin posing for Mommy's new iPhone camera

Pride and Prejudice

2011-05-13T14:41:00.002-04:00

A rant, if you will.

This past weekend was our local Pride. I've gone to it nearly every year since I've known S., and it was in fact the first Pride I ever attended - even before the big hoopla that is NYC Pride. I remember how happy I felt the first time I went--seeing others like me, seeing women with babies and dogs and being so happy together. It felt blissful there being with my (then) girlfriend, pondering the future when we would have kids of our own to shuttle to and show off at Pride (insert lesbian stereotype here).

Then I got old. And had kids. And quite frankly, Pride is not my thing anymore. I more often than not feel myself being annoyed by Pride instead of being "proud" at Pride, and I am usually left wondering why I bothered fighting the traffic to find a far-away parking space, only to sit for a short parade and go walking around a glorified parking lot looking at people selling gay crap I will never buy. I will also add that we honestly do not have many gay friends. We have a couple we hang out with sometimes who I work with and who have similarly aged children, and we often see their gay friends at their house, but that is it. We love when we do hang out with them, because it's important for us to have our children see families like ours.

But I often feel like a minority at Pride. I feel like I have no big gay rights agenda, that I don't own a single item of rainbow or HRC clothing, that I have somehow assimilated into straight culture and feel like an outsider amongst the many wonderful gays and lesbians who live in my neck of the woods. Part of this is my own doing--lesbians love drama, and I do not, so I guess unconsciously I tend to stay clear. The other part is--I guess I just feel like a woman who happened to fall in love with another woman. Is it part of my identity? Sure. I knew as a teenager I was partial to women. But, is gay even a top-five adjective I would use to describe myself? Nope. S. feels the same way. She once told me she'd say she was a "gardener" or a "flea market junkie" over a lesbian.

I'm sure next year I will be at Pride again-for my kids. It is important we let them know how many other gay families and gay people live amongst us. I feel lame sometimes, knowing that people elsewhere don't have the option of being so blase about their gayness, or their "alternative" family, and that I probably take for granted that our families and friends and state are for the most part so supportive of us that we never have to feel like outsiders. And I guess in the end, I am grateful for that.

Parenting Musings and Asparagus Appreciation

2011-05-06T12:58:00.003-04:00

I think we reached our five-year blogiversary. Wow--lots and lots has changed, including the initial goal of this blog, which was to get a baby. Then, to get another baby. And so here we are, not just a couple of married lesbos ttcing, but parenting.

Speaking of parenting, S.'s book club read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua this month. Holy crap--has anyone read this book? If not, it's a quick and fascinating read. For those of you haven't heard about it, it is basically an autobiography of how a woman of Chinese descent parented (and still parents) her two daughters--in the Chinese way. It's not so much a criticism of Western parenting, but some of the struggles, pitfalls, and successes she encounters as she raises her two daughters to be musical prodigies and straight A students -- all the while hovering, demanding, pushing them. We're talking forcing them to practice their music 5+ hours a day, screaming at them when they play things wrong, not accepting a hand-drawn card from her four-year-old that she deemed unacceptable--extreme.

And yet, I did not find myself hating her. Since she actually becomes reflective of her parenting style by the end of the book, I feel like perhaps she learned a thing or two from her kids along the way. While you can't argue with the results of these two girls, it still all left me wondering--why? So what if your child is a piano prodigy? So what if they get straight As? I suppose Amy Chua would call me very Western for considering such philosophical questions, but it made me think about my own kids and what I want for them versus what they may someday want for themselves.

Anywho--this spring has seriously sucked so far. May 6th and we've had only a handful of warm days. But our gardens are starting to be planted, the grass has been mowed, and we finally put the snowblower to bed until next winter. And---it's asparagus season. Yumyumyumyumyummy.

Ambiguous Absence

2011-04-26T13:36:00.003-04:00

It's been well over a month since my last posting. I feel ambivalent about keeping this blog going. I don't feel like this is a raw, truthful blog anymore--with so many people I know reading it, I self-censor all of the time. It seems pointlessly unfair to continue in this regard, but here I am another day, thinking about it but still not having the courage to completely throw in the towel. So, I don't know.

A bulleting update:

work is going well--part-time rocks
my mastitis and drastic supply drop issues cleared up
screaming, fussy, non-sleeping baby issue due to supply issue virtually went away, but he still wakes up twice a night to feed----we'll take it over the multi-waking screeching child we had a month ago
baby is in the 13th percentile for nearly everything--such a peanut, but he's so strong and fitting into his 3-6 month clothes and meeting all his milestones, so it's all good
big boy is more and more hilarious and fun to be with every day. and he is so.smart and learns things so.fast

Easter shots:

Handsome big boy

Little boy wrestling with his big brother

Blah.

2011-03-22T16:09:00.002-04:00

The first day of spring in Massachusetts brought us an inch or so of snow on the ground, cold temps, and nasty driving conditions. But, today, though grey and dreary, is much warmer---all the residual snow has melted, although this morning I had to tip-toe through the slush to the car in my little flats with no socks on. You'd think I'd learn my lesson living in the Northeast for, oh, my entire life.

Work is going well--okay, it's only been two days. I should clarify that the work is fine, but me, I am not so fine these days. Last night I began feeling shaky and feverish--sure enough, I took my temp and it was over 100--not high, but high enough to make me feel plain awful. Couple that with a sore breast, and I am guessing I had/have a little bout of mastitis or another infected/plugged duct. Ugggh--will it ever end? What is wrong with me?

To add to my pity parade, this little boy is so, so gassy--so gassy that he wakes up screeching, hollering, and farting in the middle of the night. My heart goes out to him because he is obviously so uncomfortable but my god, the screaming...I started my first day of work running on about 4 hours of very interrupted sleep, and my second day with a fever and a sore boob. But I soldiered on and even got a nap in this afternoon while he dozed after grocery shopping. I love being back in the classroom, but my body feels totally whooped.

Please tell me this is not forever.

2011-03-18T08:44:00.003-04:00

Yesterday felt good--I won't lie, it was nice to interact with adults, catch up with people I haven't talked to in three months, and it was even mildly comfortable wearing real clothes. Even the pumping in the training room in the nurse's office wasn't so bad after all. Max performed his part to perfection, even taking a nap...in a crib! Of course, when I tried to reproduce this performance once we got home yesterday afternoon, it was a no-go. I am feeling like a serious napping failure right now, but that's another story.

And..ugggghhh...another plugged duct. Not what I feel like dealing with on my last free Friday. But so it goes. Also, my defrosted b.m. tastes like soap--lucky me, it looks like I have the special enzyme which makes breast milk gross...but he's seemed to be eating it anyway, so should I do anything to it before freezing?

Dress Rehearsal

2011-03-17T07:56:00.003-04:00

We're doing a dress rehearsal for our normal work day today. I got my part-time position, so until the end of the year I'll only be working until about noon and not leaving the house until about 7:45 every morning. This obviously cuts down on in-school pumping and the number of bottles Max will get--although yesterday while at our sitters as I got a facial (oh man, that was nice), he scarfed down 4 oz. in one bottle. Yikes. At that rate I'll be burned through my freezer stash in a month. Not thinking about that one...

So this morning, S. woke up, got herself dressed as Theo jumped around in the bed. Theo got his diaper changed, I got up and got dressed, Max woke up, I fed him, dressed him, diapered him, scarfed down Eng. muffin, threw pump parts into bag, threw milk into a cooler for the sitter's, helped bring it all out the car and---they're gone. I'm leaving to catch up with my sub in about a half-hour from now. I have "real" clothes on (a.k.a. no sweatpants), make-up, and gel junk in my hair. This is real. It's time.

Whirlwind

2011-03-10T10:16:00.004-05:00

It's kind of felt like a nuts couple of days--Theo randomly threw up, we bought a new mattress--okay, I know that doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but Theo had never puked before, and we've been sleeping on a double bed for the past 7 or 8 years and now we're getting a queen! Oh, luxury...also on the board has been the potential for me to be able to go back only part-time, but it looks like logistically the schedule won't work out in my favor, and definitely won't work out financially, so back to work full-time I go. But you know what? I actually feel ready. It's like, all of a sudden, something clicked and I thought---I can do this, it's okay, and it is time. Max will be in such capable hands, plus be spending all day with his big brother--there's really not a loser here. Our biggest worry is the total and complete wreck our house will become. It's been quite nice having me home keeping things tidy as the week goes on. But we'll manage. We will find a new normal.

Also--postpartum hair loss? Oh my goodness. It's in full-effect. Not cool.

About those naps...

2011-03-08T14:10:00.006-05:00

Here is why sleeping is on my mind. There's an infant group I go to with Max on Friday mornings at our local community center, and this past Friday there was a sleep "consultant" who came into speak to the group. This woman makes her living, from what I can tell, by being hired by desperate families who need help teaching children to sleep. I totally get that--not having a kid who sleeps can seriously change the quality of your life, as does having a kid who does sleep. All throughout Theo's infancy, people at work would ask me, "Getting any sleep? You must be exhausted!" But the truth was, Theo was a good sleeper from the get-go, so we didn't really have that sheer exhaustion most new parents have. We didn't have to learn how to put our kid to sleep, really--he did that for us himself.

Then along came Max. Max was pretty much up every hour on the hour the first couple of weeks we brought him home. I think this is normal behavior for a newborn, but just so not what we were prepared for. Fast-forward three months, though, and we have a boy who is a good sleeper, usually waking up only once during the night. Our problem is that we haven't really set a routine to get him to go down to sleep, but we're working on it, and not worried.

So Miss Sleep Consultant made me feel really bad because I didn't put Max down at a regular time to sleep at night. She says that babies need 12 hours of sleep--excluding the time they're up to feed in the middle of the night. Then, there are the naps. Naps are necessary. One need only look at our toddler when he misses naptime to understand that. I think I mentioned last post that Max is not a great napper. Sleep Consultant looked at me like I was nuts when I mentioned that Max doesn't really nap when we're at home. Or, like, ever really. The last couple of days I tried following her advice and just putting him down sleepy. He slept for an hour-ish each time. That's it. Can some babies really just not want to sleep? It doesn't seem like a priority for Max like it is for the rest of us.

Thus ends my sleep rant. I know this can be a big issue for people, so if anyone has any ideas that worked, by all means, fire away. I am pretty much depending on our babysitter to whip Max into shape (Napping Boot Camp, as S. calls it) when he starts there in a couple of weeks, which leaves me feeling like a failure that I didn't manage to at least get my kid to sleep during my weeks of maternity leave.

Now, for cuteness.

Tolerating (barely) tummy time

Are YOU talkin' ta ME?

Cheeeeese!

Theo and his cousin F. holding Max. Actually, Theo just wanted to be in the picture and probably could have cared less about holding the baby!

No Nap Til...

2011-03-07T09:18:00.003-05:00

Well I was clearly not up for the challenge. It's okay--with only two weeks left of my maternity leave, I am certainly not going to beat myself up for missing a few posts. It is March--which in New England is known as mud season, pothole season, or, more pleasantly, maple sugaring season. Lately it's also been rain and flooding season. We have a brook at the edge of our backyard, and right now it is roaring. I mean, will carry away my babies in an instant roaring. It's terrifying, but luckily there's still too much snow to play out in the backyard, decreasing the danger of my children being swept away down into the river.

I want to thank you all (a post late-sorry) for suggestions on the pumping issues I'm fearing I will have. I should have also mentioned that my over-supply is not an everyday thing. Max tends to not eat as well when we're traveling and out of our comfort zone and pillows and perch where my posture is perfect with my nursing stool. Then I get oh-so engorged and, a couple of times, have been caught sans pump and in great agony. I've learned my lesson and take either a hand pump or stash my electric in the trunk of the car, just in case.

Next topic I've been obsessing over--sleep. I have a lot to say about this that I won't put down here right now, but let's start with napping. My child doesn't do it. Thoughts? Suggestions? Sympathy?

Day late, dollar short

2011-03-04T08:36:00.005-05:00

...although, thanks to Max, we got a *huge* tax refund this year. Thank you, little baby!

I've already failed my challenge--and yesterday would have been the easiest day to post! All I would have had to do is put up Max's three-month picture--oh well. I was preoccupied with taking care of all 3 (including S., who was home sick with the flu) babies yesterday. Wow. That totally whooped my butt. Yesterday also included my first solo trip to the grocery store with two kids in tow, and my second trip to Theo's music class with both babes. Fortunately, both went smoothly.

So, here is Max at three months and one day, I guess, since I'm a day late. Oops.

Clumsy Cook, Engines, and Machines

2011-03-02T17:08:00.003-05:00

Nothing exciting to report today. Max is this close to laughing out loud, and I caught him trying to turn himself on his side on the bed while I was putting laundry away. I attempted to make granola bars and, while their flavor is killer, they were not the chewy, tender yummies I was hoping to replicate from my favorite K.ashi ones I buy pre-packaged. Anyone with a good recipe? I'm trying to stop buying granola bars because I end up eating them all alone somehow, and seriously----what are they but oats, some sugar, some nuts--certainly not worth the money I'm spending weekly on them.

On another totally random note (since I'm sitting here watching Thomas the Tank Engine with Theo), I have a serious issue with a couple of Theo's favorite kids' shows (two of the three we allow him to watch). On Thomas & Friends and Bob the Builder, the anthropomorphic trains and construction vehicles, respectively, seriously annoy me. They make stupid mistakes and what are their consequences? A stern lecture. Worse, Bob the Builder usually just laughs and points out the machines' mistakes. I mean, I don't know what would happen - they all get sent to the scrapyard? That would be a terribly traumatic end to an episode, I suppose. But I really wish those machines would just stop screwing up.

Pump it up & down

2011-03-01T14:01:00.003-05:00

Look! Look! A post! Two days in a row!! I'm so proud of myself.

So, one thing I definitely haven't bitched much about since Max was born is breastfeeding. I've been lucky enough to not have many major issues with supply, and while I've had one plugged duct and two near-plugs, my nipples and ducts seem to be in good shape.

One thing I do struggle with is an over-supply issue. I know, I know--why should this be an issue? But seriously, when you leak through a nursing pad and then your baby won't eat sufficiently to suck you dry, it's a problem. This happens. More than it should. This baby is not a ravenous eater. He eats what he wants to, which seems to just enough to keep him full and peeing and pooping a good amount. He doesn't freak out about being hungry most of the time, and doesn't show a lot of signs of hunger that often. What I wonder is--why hasn't my supply adjusted to his needs? If I were staying home indefinitely, this wouldn't be that big of a deal, but with my impending return to work, I worry - a lot - about pumping at work, about getting too engorged, and then somehow in that mix watching my supply plummet altogether, which I know probably will happen when I switch to a daytime pumping, instead of feeding, schedule.

So this has all been on my mind lately. Oh, and along with my serious pumping-at-work anxiety--how do I get anything done at work now? Does anyone have a good recommendation for a hand-free pumping bra? I need to be able to read and grade papers while pumping.

The one-month challenge

2011-02-28T12:18:00.007-05:00

I seriously have not one, not two, but three drafted posts in my editing box right now. What that says to me is that 1.) having a nearly-three-month-old at home and attempting to keep said home vaguely clean is more than vaguely difficult 2.) I have trouble formulating a complete thought, let alone a complete sentence and 3.) I've lost my blogging way. I am making a concerted effort in this, my last month of maternity leave, to be a better blogger by posting something every day left of my leave. Wish me luck.

That being said, do feel like I've got a little groove on here, and I know that as soon as I'm all, "Oh, yeah, I've got this mothering an infant all day thing dowwwwn," BAM! Back to work I go, and we start figuring out our lives anew.

Something I'm very proud of us for doing this past week was going on vacation - twice! - with the boys, once on our annual February trip to Martha's Vineyard, and once to NYC. Both visits were wonderful and surprisingly--not that bad. The worst part was packing. And, in typical second-child-syndrome style, we hardly took any pictures of Max's first trip to the Vineyard or NYC--whereas we snapped it up when we visited these places for the first time with Theo. Ah well.

Here's a few of photos I managed to capture of my big boy and my little boy from vacation.

Breakfast happy face

Hi!

Walking to the beach

Asleep on the beach

Match.box truck on the beach

Totally crazy sculpture/statue/modern art wackiness at the house where we stayed on MV

Putting the size into perspective - it was huge!

Baby Minutes

2011-02-06T21:55:00.003-05:00

Well, since I'm not quite throwing in the towel on this blog yet, I figure I may as well write on it. I'll try to think of some relevant-to-baby type thing to say, so here goes. Today's topic: maternity leave.

S. had a hard time with her maternity leave. She loved being home with Theo, but missed her job and talking to adults every day. Luckily, I got to be home with S. and Theo for a month and a half or so before I went back to work, since he was born in the summertime, so we had a lot of adjustment time together. For me, there have been so many snow days this year that it almost feels like I'm spending this maternity leave with S. and Theo, which has been amazing. And at the same time, I love the time I get to spend alone with Max. In general, I like being alone, so being home, just him and me, has been amazing. And just when I start getting bored, S. and Theo come home and we're a cozy little family again.

I do not want to return to work. But I have to. My sub wants my job. I wish I could give it to her. I haven't muttered these words aloud--my women's college education makes me feel too guilty--but I like staying home. As a mom. Keeping the household. Being a "homemaker" (I totally get that word but understand why it's no longer p.c.). This is not something I expected.

So I am trying to make the most of the rest of my time. I go back in March, and Max will be happy and safe with Theo's wonderful babysitter. I think Theo really is a better boy because of her (he's definitely a better napper because of her). I'm not looking too far ahead of me and trying to suck in every baby minute while I am here every minute for them.

And, since this blog is half a photo album, here's our big boy on skis (!) for the very first time. He finally figured out he likes playing in the snow. Good thing, since it isn't going away anytime soon!

2011-02-05T13:21:00.004-05:00

There are several drafts of posts floating around my editing box here that try to make a graceful exit from this blog, but --- I just can't seem to make myself finish and/or post them. While the future of this bog does remain in question, I feel like I am abandoning the family pet in the middle of a snowstorm. So for now, it stays, while I infrequently update once in a while with photos of the boys. That's not exactly what I wanted this blog to become -- simply a photo album (that's what facebook is for, really, isn't it?) -- but for now it's what can be managed.

So, I give you a two-month-old baby named Max. I don't know where this two-month-old came from. He seemed to appear out of thin air.

Clogged

2011-01-12T06:49:00.002-05:00

I have a plugged duct. I know how to get my plugged drain to get going, and actually, this has been kind of similar and I think I'm on my way to working it out (I have an emergency supply of antibiotics courtesy of me begging my doctor yesterday to give them to me before a foot of snow falls today, juuuust in case I spike a fever and develop mastitis). Except I've experienced a sudden drop in my supply--from both breasts, even though the plug is only in one. When I pump in the evening (so that S. could share in feeding Max by giving him a bottle of expressed milk), I was getting upwards of 9 oz. This was just two days ago. In the last two days, I've put out far, far less--maybe, maybe 2 oz. per side. What gives? Is it the duct? I have been feeding him more often to unclog things and move them along. Another change--the long sleep stretches. If my supply is "evening out," this is not a good place to be at.

Any BFing advice, oh wise internets?

Just when I thought everything was going awesome with breastfeeding. I should have known better. Erg.

Five Weeks plus

2011-01-10T10:37:00.003-05:00

I can't believe how big he's getting. I guess that's what happens.

Stuck in a sling

It's not so bad in here after all!

Chillaxin'

Sleep, glorious sleep.

2011-01-07T18:09:00.002-05:00

We have been doing something that the Consumer Product Safety Commission would surely say is a huge no-no and recall us as parents immediately if they saw. We put one of those vibrating chair-type things into the co-sleeper for Max to sleep in. It's inclined ever-so slightly, enough that we had hoped his rasping, gasping breathing would cease. The breathing sort of-kind of eased, but more importantly, the kid slept. He slept for four blissful hours in a row. The next night? Nearly five hours. Due to negligent parenting, he only slept for about 3 1/2 hours straight through last night (late bed time--bad mommies), but still--do you know what a difference this has made in my life? S. is finally sleeping through the night without waking up to Max every 1 1/2-2 hours and me getting in and out of bed. I feel vaguely human come morningtime. Oh, yes. Sleep, glorious sleep.

Now, I know that since we've hit the 5-week mark, this could all just be part of Max's maturation from newborn to infant. But hey--I'll take it.

If only my boobs would be as happy about the long stretches as we are.

2011-01-06T12:41:00.002-05:00

So--no big update, as he's still not sleeping awesomely, but it seems that Max sleeps better and more quietly when he's on his side. I've been wedging him sideways, swaddled, with blankets to keep him on his side (but not push him too far over that he falls on his face). This seems to be working. Our ped. actually suggested putting him on his stomach (!) but that thought seriously freaks me out. So, side sleeping it is. I did make a discovery today that may or may not have been contributing to the random bouts of daytime crying--an eyelash in his eye. Poor kiddo! Everyone knows how aggravating it is to have any foreign object in one's eye, but at least we have the ability to shove a finger in our eye and scoop it up. As you can imagine, Max is not so partial to this approach, so I squirted him down with sterile tears in hopes of flushing it out. It's either crept back into his lower eyelid or gone away--let's hope it's the latter.

I hope I don't sound like an awful heel. We love this boy and his multiple chins and wet diapers. Even if he does sound like a pterodactyl when he cries.

No sleep 'til...

2011-01-05T08:47:00.002-05:00

This baby doesn't sleep, and when he does, his breathing is so loud and scary that neither of us sleep. Our ped. thinks his trachia-flap (I do NOT like to think about a baby's trachia flap) of cartilage isn't fully formed yet, so it keeps "flapping" and restricting his airwaves when he's sleeping on his back. No bigs, she says. It will firm up on its own eventually. That kind of seems like a big deal to me! Besides, I don't think that's actually his problem. I'm not really sure what it is, but his shrieking breathing is freaking us all out to the point of insomnia.

Also, he cries. Oh, he cries, cries, cries. Why? Who knows. Whatever happened to that sweet, mellow baby we brought back from the hospital? I'd like him back, please.

Oh man, we're tired.

What are you doing New Years?

2011-01-01T09:22:00.005-05:00

I apologize for the silence around here. There's this little baby who won't let go of my boobs, making typing with two hands incredibly difficult. There's also this little baby who doesn't sleep for more than two to three hours at a time, leaving his Mama in a semi-daze most of her waking hours. All I wanted for Christmas? To sleep for more than three consecutive hours, which hasn't happened since December 1st. Ah well. 2011 is here and we know that sleep deprivation is only temporary. This year will be the year that I sleep again!

But I love the promise of a new year, with growing bodies and brains (the boys', clearly not mine) in the house. We spent New Year's Eve at First Night Northampton, which started at noon and was filled with kid-friendly activities. Max slept happily in the Moby all day while Theo mostly enjoyed the various shows and performers we saw. We ended the evening with an early sushi dinner, fireworks, and the best ice cream ever. We were home by 7:30. I guess that's how you do New Year's Eve with two kids under the age of 3. But you know what? I don't care how lame it seems. We had a great day. Who wouldn't with these two around?

Happy New Year, everyone.

Check out that double chin action. Oh yeah.

A rare moment of staying still. My handsome, happy smiling boy.

Weigh-in and Diapers

2010-12-22T10:49:00.003-05:00

Little Monch is now what Theo weighed at his lightest the first week home from the hospital: 7 lbs., 10 oz, which from 6 lbs, 1 oz. at his 4-day ped. visit is pretty good, I would say! He still feels like a teeny weeny peanut, but he's a growing one. Yay boobs.

His little behind is finally (sort of) fitting into our cloth diapers. We are loving using our Kissaluv terry snap-ons with a wool cover. We decided to delve into the world of wool with this one. We've got the one-size down pat with Theo, and Max will definitely use Theo's bumGeniuses when he's big enough, but S. did a heck of a job boosting our stash through DiaperSwappers, mainly, getting some awesome wool covers. And S.'s mom actually crocheted us two wool diaper covers that are ridiculously cute. I can't wait until he fits into the longies we scored-those of you who use them know how damn cute they are. I must admit I was skeptical about the wool and mostly freaked out about the care involved in them, but so far it's really been no big deal. I am still not a fan of prefolds, however---he seems to pee through them in about 5 seconds. Any advice? Maybe I'm a bad folder.

Little Monch

2010-12-20T08:23:00.004-05:00

We all think Max looks like a Monchhichi. What do you think? And yes, we have started calling him that.

The Story

2010-12-14T10:15:00.002-05:00

My "real" story, which I typed out into a Word document, is 4 pages long. I'll spare you that version and cut to the chase as best as I can - I am notoriously bad at editing myself, so if I sound longwinded, I apologize now.

December 2nd, I got up and went to work. All week long, I had been experiencing lower and more-intense B-H contractions, and had some bloody mucous, so I knew things were definitely shifting. That day, things felt different, though. Stronger, longer, more uncomfortable cramping was happening. It continued all day, all evening, and I finally thought, hmm...maybe we ought to be timing these? By 11:00 that night, we realized this was it. We called the midwife and our doula B. Midwife G. was on-call - our most favorite, wonderful, awesome midwife - so we were keeping our fingers crossed that she'd still be on by the time we made it to the hospital. She advised us to stay in bed and rest as long as possible, but it soon became evident that this was not going to happen. The waves started coming on more regularly, strongly, and frequently. I mostly laid on the bed, or bent over the bed rocking back and forth - never did it feel unmanageable, but perhaps inconveniently uncomfortable to do anything with but breathe, breathe, breathe, and rock back and forth. I had been using the Hypnobabies homestudy course, so I put on my headphones and let the relaxation exercises guide me through each wave. It kept me focused, calm, and easygoing. I was very, very quiet during this time, still able to talk to S., but we decided that sooner than later, with my waves increasing in frequency, it was time to get this show on the road. We called our doula and midwife back around 3:30 a.m., and by 4:00 started moving downstairs to get ready to leave for the hospital. We stopped into Theo's room to give him one last kiss as a family of 3, and I remember thinking how different everything would be the next time we saw him.

S.'s mom came over for Theo, helped us pack the car with our bags, and then we were on our way. I kept the headphones on throughout the ride, but it was becoming more and more uncomfortable to bear each wave sitting down. We met our doula B., and made our way down the hallway, to the elevators, up to the birthing center. We were lead to the same room that Theo was born in---we thought surely this was an excellent sign! It was 5:00 a.m.

My intake appointment went well--I remember being very chatty and upbeat with the nurse while the waves continued. I was hooked up to the EFM for just 20 minutes. Midwife G. came in to check my progress and -- holy cow -- I was already 8-9 cm dilated. This was beyond awesome news, but at the same time, I knew in the back of my head that meant the hardest work was yet to come. I was unhooked and left to move freely. I chose to spend the majority of the time bent over the hospital bed on pillows, rocking. Eventually the rocking got paired with moaning as B. massaged my lower back, gave me washcloths scented with ginger for my nausea (I hadn't been able to keep anything down for hours), and S. held my hands.

As the waves grew stronger, I felt myself spinning out of control. B.'s touch and S.'s "om"ing in my ear reminded me to stay focused, to turn inward, to keep my tones low. This, coupled with cool cloths and ice chips, got me through what I knew was transition. I wondered how long it would go on before I would feel like pushing. Eventually, I was moved into the bathroom to sit on the toilet, but I hated the feeling. I know now that G. was trying to use gravity to get my urge to push stimulated, but all I wanted to do was get off. I even remember saying, "I don't want my baby to be born on a toilet!" We walked back over to the bed, where I finally got on, side-lying, my legs supported by S. and G. I waited and waited for each wave to help bring my urge to bear down on, but it never happened with the force I expected. Suddenly I was being instructed to push, to focus my pushing in one place, and sure enough it started to work. I can honestly say I never felt that "urge to push" most women get, but I knew it was time for that baby to come out.

Soon, G. said, "reach down and feel this - your baby is still in his sack." I reached down and said, "That's so weird!" My water had never broken - I had in the back of my mind been waiting and waiting, but it never did. The baby was born in his caul, with his bag of waters intact, a very rare thing indeed. Of course I never felt it, but G. broke the bag as he was coming out to help him breath, and before I knew it or even felt him come out, my screaming little peanut was resting on my chest, healthy, hairy, and loud. It was 7:29 a.m., 2 1/2 hours after we arrived at the hospital, and less than 10 hours after labor started in earnest.

I feel positive that using Hypnobabies allowed me to stay at home for as long as I did and labor in comfort for as long as I did. I had the exact birth that I wanted, was supported by wonderful and amazing people, and now have the little family of 4 S. and I had been dreaming off since this process began last year. I have no other words other than to say that I am so lucky to have been able to do what I did, to have who I have in my life, and to have a healthy little baby to show for it all.

Wordless

2010-12-09T16:43:00.002-05:00

I'm tired and still don't have my entire birth story written down--so until I feel slightly more motivated, a post of photos for your viewing pleasure. I know I'm enjoying the view, anyway.

2010-12-03T22:22:00.002-05:00

Turns out it was much more than a cranky uterus.

Maxwell Joseph

12/3/10 after less than 10 hours of (when I finally figure out I was in labor) labor

6.4 lbs, 19.5 inches

A teeny peanut with lots of hair to explain the heartburn of the last 9 months.

Details to follow!

Still In

2010-12-02T21:38:00.002-05:00

Went back to work today, after being up on and off for a few hours with crampy rumblings. Decided it would be better to be somewhere with distracting people and where I could walk around. Ever since I've been home, it's been on-and-off cramping. Haven't called doula or midwife and still trying to decide if this is it and sloooowly starting, or whether it's just gear-up, tuning up, checking the oil type stuff. Very little bloody mucous today. No plug.

Baby's still in there!

Warning: too much TMI

2010-11-30T19:03:00.003-05:00

Yes, I realize the redundancy of this post title.

This post will gross many people out, so please feel free to click off of this page if you are feeling squeamish.

I'm 39w4d. Contractions have been happening pretty regularly (just B-H ones, I figure), but have now moved into the low, low region of my pelvis. This morning and a few times today, I had (TMI PART COMING UP NOW!!!) bloody mucous. Was it bloody show? Just mucous? Is labor imminent? There are a lot of rumblings going on down there. I'd sure hate to go on like this for another week or more and am wondering if I should keep going to work. I guess it's just time to wake up every morning and evaluate the day. My sub is working with me full time right now, so she's ready to jump in whenever.

I may also mention that I suddenly feel incredibly energetic. You'd think I'd do something useful, like vacuum or wash the kitchen floor, but instead I just get up and go to work. I'm trying to save as many of my sick days as I possibly can so I can take the majority of my leave paid.

Wow, this is a rambling post. I think I'm slightly in shock that my actual due date is a mere 4 days away. Here we are, ready and waiting. Let's hope we're not ready and waiting, and waiting, and waiting...

Not Yet

2010-11-22T11:24:00.002-05:00

Nothing to post yet--I just know where minds wander to when a gal gets to about this stage of the game. We've just been--busy. The theme of this pregnancy. I called in sick today to actually sleep (and I been sick for a week, so it's legit), relax, be alone for an afternoon - though I'm out soon to run some errands before my 38-week midwife appointment this afternoon. So, since Halloween, let's see what's been going on:

3 surprise baby showers, one thrown by my mom for us at my aunt's house (which surprised the ever-living hell out of me - seriously) and 2 others by 2 of my classes. Very cute and very sweet when a 14-year-old can pull something like that off.
The tile backsplash is almost done in our kitchen. It looks killer.
Theo is testing his limits, big time. Perhaps he senses a big change is on the horizon? Every night, bedtime is a challenge and a production. Any advice? Or is he just 2?
2 more weeks of work (probably) and we've just now hired a sub. Here's hoping I actually have enough time left to sit down with her before it's time.
House is all in order - we got our co-sleeper back from our friends, all baby clothes are washed, bags are packet, new car is purchased, snowblower is being serviced, camera batteries are charged. Phew.

I don't think I could possibly have forgotten anything. Thanksgiving is this week and it is nearly my favorite national holiday. No religious affiliations, wonderful food, no pressure to exchange gifts, and a great message - be grateful. And, though we haven't stopped to genuflect on it, we truly, truly are.

Beginning of the end

2010-11-05T16:43:00.005-04:00

Well--they never said it would be easy to carry a baby to full term, right? Right. Now that I am feeling seriously huge, every day seems a little more challenging. For instance, if I forget to put my socks on before breakfast, it is nearly impossible to bend over to put my socks on. If I bend over for something instead of squatting down to reach it, my belly gets smooshed in the most uncomfortable way. While my heartburn seems to have subsided a wee amount for the time being, the possible lowering of the baby means more head whamming against the cervix, which is just ooooooh-so-pleasant. Actually, it's not terrible, and I welcome the feeling---but when I'm trying to stand up in front of a class and teach, it's a little distracting.

Below, scenes from the beginning of the end of fall. Halloween was fun this year. Theo only went trick-or-treating across the street to our neighbor's house, but he got his own special basket of candy from her and---gasp---we let him eat a lollypop. For the first time. Ever. And he loved it. Until he dropped it in the leaves.

Large and in charge at 35 weeks.

We woke up Halloween morning to find our entire street toilet papered and our pumpkins stolen off the front porch.

Practicing his moves with the pitchfork

Our little devil (pre-sugar high from lollypop)

2010-10-26T20:32:00.002-04:00

Things that are kind of kicking my butt right now in the last 6 weeks:

Fatigue--back with a vengeance. Is it possible I feel MORE tired now than in the first trimester? Seriously. I could sleep in every day and go to bed by 7:30 every night.
Heartburn. Blah.
Sleep, ironically. Tossing and turning all night on the Sno*gle does not a good night's sleep make. Add to that the occasional toddler in the bed, and it all makes for a not-so-restful nor peaceful night despite my pure exhaustion.
Papers. Okay, that has nothing to do with being pregnant, but I have so many papers to grade. Why am I giving so much work? I must be a mean teacher!
Finding a new car---why do car salespeople suck so badly?

Things I love:

Being extremely, visibly pregnant. I love the way my belly looks, I must say.
Feeling so close to the baby, who moves and grooves and twists and turns in there all the time. I love it (except when I get an unexpected swift kick to the ribs--ouch).
My family. Theo. Wife. Imagining us as a foursome very soon.
Halloween and fall. Seriously---who wants to spend fall anywhere else but New England? My heart aches happily just thinking about it. It's especially grand this year since I don't have to blow or rake leaves (at least not for too long). And---I also love Halloween candy. Yum.

Purple Day

2010-10-20T20:17:00.003-04:00

Our GSA gave out purple ribbons today -- it's Ally Week, plus purple day today to honor the 7 young men who took their own lives over the past month due to anti-gay bullying and harassment. We had a ton of students sign pledge forms and take ribbons during the lunch waves, so obviously I'm ecstatic about that.

Here is what I am very un-ecstatic about---an annoying, homophobic, unprofessional teacher who totally ruined the day. She basically accosted my student who was working at the GSA table to explain (not in my presence - the student was totally by herself and defenseless) how she doesn't believe that "all this" (GSAs, ribbons, allies, anything having to do with supporting gay anything) belongs in a school. May I mention we are a PUBLIC school, so nevermind that the GSA has about a gazillion legal rights to exist and disseminate information, but we also have a student-lead prayer group, which is also totally legal (if it's student-initiated and student lead, as is our GSA and many other clubs at school). So this is basically the equivalent of me marching into the bible study and telling them that I believe everything in the bible is a lie and that this group shouldn't exist.

But I would never do that. Do you know why? I am a professional who cares about students.

And we wonder why teenagers feel the need to kill themselves.

Can you just imagine if a person like this said something like this to your own child? It makes me not just angry for my children, but also scared. I hope-hope-hope we can do a good job strengthening our kids' confidence enough to never listen to this kind of bullshit nor take it seriously. But it still scares me.

Cautionary Tale List

2010-10-10T07:43:00.005-04:00

Things not to do when you're 32 weeks pregnant: A List

1. Collide with a student in the hallway and then land on all-fours, hard, only to suffer excruciating back pain for the next two days

2. Somehow pick up a lingering massive head cold and sore throat

3. Drive through Chinatown in New York on a Saturday looking for a parking space

4. Smack the steering wheel and yell "F*CK!" while crying hysterically in said Chinatown traffic drive

5. Inadvertently teach your two-year-old how to say "F*CK", which really sounds like "PUT!" followed by hysterical laughter

6. Continue to say the word mentioned in 4 and 5 without realizing it, again eliciting peals of ecstatic laughter from your two-year-old

7. Try to get a two-year-old boy to say "nice words" instead of "put" or "puttin" - because they'll just end up saying "POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "PEE PEE!!!!!"

And that was my week in a nutshell. Take it as a cautionary tale, all ye pregnant ladies with no center of balance, a penchant for spontaneous emotional breakdowns, and an easily-influenced little bugger listening to your every word.

32 weeks down, 8 to go!

Another Rushing Week

2010-10-05T17:29:00.005-04:00

No time for real posts - just pics. Theo is currently hurling himself off of the couch at an alarming angle, I have to pick up a pizza for dinner, and S. is painting our new cabinet to stash all the office crap we had to move out of our, well, office, to make Theo's new room. And...I am 31 weeks and starting to finally slow down. Thank god for my birth ball and some wisely selected yoga-ish exercises and deep relaxation CDs - otherwise my back pain would be tailspinning out of control. Whew. Needless to say, I could use a day off to just sleep and relax, but I'm trying to hold out as long as I can. With a long weekend coming up, I'm channeling the little engine that could...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

30 Weeks self-portrait (very hard when one is only 5 feet tall and one's profile barely clears the mirror!)

31 Weeks

Blondie cousin love with typical poses - cousin J. with his big smile, Theo with his little coy smirk

Hitting milestones

2010-09-30T19:11:00.002-04:00

We've hit 30 weeks! At m/w appointment today I:

-found out that I DO NOT have gestational diabetes. Yay yay yay!

-found out that I am borderline anemic. Boo boo boo. Luckily, our midwives try to correct this with diet before prescribing giant constipation pills.

-gained about another 1/2 lb. in two weeks. I'm liking my pace, but know it will likely start accelerating in the next few weeks. That's okay, too.

-discovered the baby has been head down since the last midwife appointment - or at least he was today. Good baby!

I decided that I will take at least a picture a week of the belly for your viewing pleasure until the end. (I took a self-portrait Monday morning but haven't dumped it off of my camera yet.) A decided lack of belly shots - and pictures of me pregnant in general - suddenly made me feel very sad since I know I will not be getting pregnant again and want PROOF when this boy comes out that I was the one who grew him.

2010-09-14T18:15:00.004-04:00

I am finally here sitting on my bottom after what feels like a very, extremely long day. Strangely enough, I feel great all day long (mostly), but as soon as I sit down, I am suddenly overwhelmed with tiredness. Not exhaustion - just extreme tiredness. The weather growing cooler and fallish does not help the urge to crawl into a pile of blankets when I come home. But alas, there are things to do, pick up, pack up (we're going away again this weekend out to my parents' house), so, yeah---I come home and go some more. But, I'm thinking as long as I can move, I should move. Yes? Makes sense to me.

An update on baby kidneys. We had an u/s last Wed., and surprise! The kidneys actually resolved. We are relieved, but were never panicked in the first place. Still--it is good news that we now do not have to subject a squirming newborn to an ultrasound or an appointment with our dull-as-dirt pediatric urologist. At my m/w appointment yesterday, I only gained about 1/4 lb, a much welcome relief from the 6 I had gained at my last visit. Measuring spot on at 28 1/2 weeks, heartbeat strong, and baby seemed head-down during my appointment, although I'm sure that has since changed.

Hey--I think I'm going to have a baby. It feels more real than ever all of a sudden.

Busy Bees

2010-09-05T18:25:00.005-04:00

Clearly the start of school was a bit much to allow me to have any semblance of free time with which to blog. We relished our last days of summer but, as always, were ready to go back to school by the time the end of August rolled around. Theo is happily back with his beloved babysitter. Seriously---he cries for her and whines, "I want Kaaaate! I want my Kaaaate!" I'm pretty sure he's never sung such a song for his mamas, but it's okay. I love that he loves where he is during the day when we can't be with him.

My first week back as a large pregnant lady was...exhausting. But I made it through. I have an exhausting schedule this year (5 classes in a row with a lunch break after 3). At least I'll be missing for three months of the year when son 2.0 comes.

We spent the Labor Day weekend in Baltimore with S.'s brother, our sis-in-law, my in-laws, and our nephew. We hit Sesame Place on Saturday. Oh.My.Goodness. You only need to witness the long embrace between Theo and Elmo to see that the trip was totally worth it. The kids did great. We ended up springing for the character luncheon - way expensive for really crappy food, but so worth it. Again, I point to the Elmo hug.

Oh yeah, and I'm in my third trimester now. Gulp.

Their grandmother insisted on the matching cousin outfits. I had to admit, it's pretty cute.

The weight gain game

2010-08-22T16:24:00.004-04:00

Ugh. I do not like stressing out about this, but in the past 5 weeks of pregnancy I have gained....6 pounds. Ugh ugh ugh. The midwife was totally unconcerned - I'd been gaining about 2 pounds every month. I had to go 5 weeks before seeing the m/w because of our beach vacation, where, apparently, it was not wise to eat ice cream every.single.day. She chalked it up to being on vacation, sitting on a beach, and just generally not moving as much in the heat. And the ice cream.

Yep. Looking for a healthier way to indulge my sweet tooth. I go in for the 3rd (!) trimester screening tests in 3 weeks or so, and need to have another ultrasound before that for a kidney check. Sleeping officially kills my hips, even with the giant maternity pillow which I find only marginally comfortable. Still, I feel blessed to have had my pregnancy go this way so far, and still being able run after and catch up with this kid:

P.S. - just had a cup of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge. Baby: 1 Willpower: 0

An Open List

2010-08-15T10:41:00.002-04:00

Terrified that we are going to be scrambling around too late and last-minute to get everything we need, S. and I realized that, at 24 weeks, some stuff needs to start getting done and happening. So far we've:

-compiled a pretty good list of boys names

-read through a few birthing books

-been to all of our regularly scheduled midwife appointments and had an ultrasound (with a follow-up to occur in a month or so for a kidneys check)

-ummm....

Yeah. So, what should probably be done or in the process of being done by now is:

-setting up Theo's new bedroom

-interviewing (at least, if not hiring) doulas

-finding a birthing class/instructor to work with that suits our needs (no first-time mamas birth classes - it would be way too boring)

-exercising regularly, or getting into some mini-yoga/stretching routine so I continue to feel physically comfortable since I will be working up until my due date

-declaring to my job how long I plan on taking for maternity leave (which is still a question mark)

What else should be on this list? We are list people. Maybe we are over-reacting and we've done just the right amount of stuff. We don't need the hubub of registering or decorating a nursery (although we'll need a few new things - new bumpers and new blankets since the ones we have are definitely T's). So that leaves us with..what else? An open question I pose to you, readers.

(Almost) back

2010-08-13T13:43:00.005-04:00

Where have we been? Take a guess! (Hint: it's sandy and has no freaking internet access - not even one single network we can suck off of for 10 minutes! ) We're actually still away, but finally coming home tomorrow after two weeks. I realize how ridiculously lucky we are, to be able to get away for a two-week vacation. I hope we'll be able to continue this with two kids so they both get to experience life at the beach, a place we both grew up loving to go.

Safe behind a sand fortress from the crashing waves

New best friend, cousin (twice removed? three times?) Leah

New hobby - banging on anything with sticks and calling it a drum

Soaking up the sunshine

Happy babies frolicking on the shore

Wow, he's really big for his age!

2010-07-29T14:57:00.004-04:00

We hear that all the time. And now we know why: our kid is 90% larger than your kid.

Two-year stats:

Weight: 32.2 pounds - 90th percentile

Height: 35 inches - 70-80th percentile

Head: don't remember, but in a normal size range - 50-60th percentile

Big boy. So much to love, sometimes his cloth diapers come flying off his substantial buttocks. I am not joking. That velcro wears out fast.

Also, My Pregnancy Boobs: A Limerick

My chest size is a'creeping

Even though they aren't yet leaking.

My boobs are a'growing;

Sometimes it's the only pregnant part showing.

Bra shopping it is as their size is leaping.

I know my meter is off, but at least I have the rhyme scheme. Seriously though, are these things going to KEEP GETTING BIGGER?!

2010-07-27T11:45:00.003-04:00

Theo is a two-year-old, as evidenced by videos and pictures and other proofs that yes, he-is-two. We had a party on Saturday and try as we might to make it a simple affair, it never turns out this way. Behold the enormous bounce house we decided to rent for the occasion:

The house of bounce

Oh yes. Despite the incredible downpour (and I am by no means exaggerating here about this downpour), the kids loved it, all the slippery wet fun of it. You can imagine I did not partake, but did go in when there were no kids by my own to jump and chase after.

A choo-choo themed birthday yielded a choo-choo train cake made by S.'s mother (it was rocking awesome), and a million Thoma.s the Tank Engine toys and..the piece de resistance...a gorgeous handmade train table created by S.'s parents. It's gorgeous and Theo basically hasn't left its side since Saturday.

Cake eating

Cooling off in the drink bucket full of ice cold water (after most of the guests left!)

Train table

From above

We leave for vacation on Saturday and don't know what internet access will be like, so this may be it for us for a while. Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that I am OVER half-way through this pregnancy and starting to look and feel pregnant always. My hands and arms fall asleep all over the place when I sleep---did this happen to anyone else? Do I just deal? It's really annoying. Other than that, can't complain except for the occasional cranky uterus growing, growing, growing.

Guess Who's Two?

2010-07-22T08:25:00.002-04:00

Approaching Two

2010-07-21T22:42:00.004-04:00

Two years ago at this moment, S. was in labor - but the nurse and midwife had just caught on to that. Her pizza was long-gone, and labor was in full-swing. After that, things start to be blurry. In 7 hours, we would have our baby. In 7 hours, we will have our two-year-old. Whoa.

Baby

Two-year-old

Pool Belly

2010-07-13T21:38:00.005-04:00

This is me at 19 weeks exactly, in S.'s aunt's pool, feeling much relieved from the heat and humidity. I think this is the first belly shot I've posted? So you really have no comparison, but I can assure you--I am bigger than when I started! (Try not to stare at my white-ass legs - you may be temporarily blinded. Though I am Italian in temperament, I am not in pigmentation.)

Cooling off

Swimming fool - you cannot keep this kid out of a pool

Well, that was a surprise...

2010-07-07T21:03:00.002-04:00

So not expecting this, but this baby of mine? The one in my belly? A boy. A BOY! ANOTHER BOY! I say that like I don't want that, but I'm thrilled. We wanted another boy. But my gut instinct was screaming to me, girl, girl, girl. I'm glad we decided to find out at our ultrasound today, because I would have continued to insist I was having a girl and then be shaken to my core when he came out a he and not a she.

A little brother for Theo.

The irony in all of this? I now own the two and only male heirs to my family's last name. Sure, the boys' (ohmygod that sounds so weird) names are hyphenated with my last name and S.'s, but still. There is one, single boy cousin I have and guess what? He has three daughters. Oh me oh my. The lesbian saves the family legacy. Got to love it.

On to the medical part, the ultrasound was good. Everything looks normal except...kidneys. Jeez, this sounds familiar...if I took time and wasn't sweating my arse off as I sat here with the laptop on my lap, I'd go back and link you to some of the posts we wrote in the last two and a half years about Theo's ongoing kidney issues. Fortunately, they mostly resolved within his first year and a half of life, and this (where one kidney is larger than the other) is not so rare and 50% of the time clears up before birth. Theo fell into the other 50%, obviously, but at least we already have a pediatric urologist and a pediatrician who knows the deal. So, not great but not the worst news, and everything else is measuring perfectly and looking normal. Big sigh of relief all around.

And now to retreat into the air conditioning.

Meditating on Birth

2010-07-05T22:07:00.003-04:00

Now that our ultrasound is mere hours away, I've started to read pregnancy books and think about birth. It's time, people---do you see that ticker? 18 weeks. That's almost half-way through. Oh wow!, as Theo would say.

I daresay we have a unique situation over here in babymaker town. On one hand, I have experienced birth in a first-hand way, but not in this first-hand way, and obviously vice-versa for S. What she likes and expects out of this pregnancy is a lot different from what she liked and expected from her own. And...vice-versa. So what may happen differently here? I am reading different books. I'm starting to investigate (and suggestions are wildly welcome here) more meditative-centering-hypnobirthing kind of methods of birth to help me attain it naturally. S. knew from the get-go she wanted a natural birth and, through her sheer tenacity (ahem, stubbornness), she would do it. I cave in much more easily and need a lot more resources and tools at my disposal to use to sustain myself through birth, and am in general not the kind of person who heavily depends on others, so I want to be able to withdraw into myself.

This sounds really weirdo, I know. But I know myself, and am trying to learn more and more about myself and what might work for me. I'm not a meditative person by nature, but I can sort of already anticipate me experiencing birth in this way. But, as I've also learned through Theo's birth and reading all of your wonderful birth stories, the unexpected needs to be, you know, expected.

Thus ends my pregnancy rant of the day.

How do you anticipate yourself birthing?

5-second Post

2010-07-01T10:49:00.004-04:00

Oh lookie! I have like, 5 seconds to sit down and write something! But just 5 seconds, as we're getting reading to leave for a long weekend for the 4th.

To recap:

The wedding we so busily prepared for the last week and a half went off without a hitch. Everything looked beautiful, everyone had a great time, and the food was ridiculously yummy.

I am 17 1/2 weeks pregnant and in less than a week, we get our big ultrasound to, if we're doing it, find out the sex and see what's going on in there. I still haven't decided but am kind of leaning toward finding out to make life easier. Any bets?

Oh, and I think I finally look pregnant. Honestly, I've just looked kind of chubby for the past 17 weeks. S. has been bemoaning my lack of baby belly-ness. I have been incredibly negligent and un-insistent on having belly shots taken every week--honestly, I don't think I've taken a pic for like, 5 weeks. Bad, I know. I'll try to start being better and maybe actually post something.

Did I mention Theo isn't two but may as well be? Yeah. Any good suggestions for toddler books?

And some pictures, because though he grows more independent every day, he also grows cuter.

Theo helping his Auntie Stacey with pancake making

Dirty boy in the garden (he did this to himself, I swear)

2010-06-23T22:39:00.003-04:00

I'm here but busy.busy.busy as a bee, which, incidentally, stung Theo for the first time last week. Now, whenever he sees a picture of a bee he goes, "Bee! Boo boo!" and points to his arm with great distress in his overly-expressive face. He is a laugh-riot when he's not making us pull our hair out with extreme exasperation. Those terrible twos? They have squarely moved in although we have a month to go.

We're helping our bestests plan and execute their wedding picnic that's on Sunday, hence the buzzing about and lack of posts. Previous excuse was end of school year which, thankfully, is here. Big sigh of relief.

Happy Summertime and we'll be back soon.

(Incidentally, I've still been reading all of your posts. It's so much more relaxing than writing!)

2010-06-11T20:52:00.003-04:00

Things that made my cry recently:

My hormones

Watching images of the BP oil spill

Listening to something on NPR (probably StoryCorp or something)

My wife (hey, it's the end of the year--we are super-stressed teachers right now and set each other off easily these days.)

Things that are getting cooler:

Maternity pants - no more zippers for a while

Feeling the baby - and S.'s super-sensitive hands feeling her/him, too

Deciding whether to find out sex - what do you guys think? We didn't with Theo, and S. is dying to find out. Every day I flip-flop between it being a boy or a girl. I'll be surprised either way.

The end of the year - one-half day of classes left, 4 days of final, 2 days of "professional development", then freedom to breath easy for a while.

Ahhhh.....

Checklist

2010-06-02T17:03:00.004-04:00

A check-ish list of accomplishments during our long weekend:

2 gardens planted
3 grilled meals consumed
1 birthday party attended
1 13-week pregnant lady swatting away bugs that would not go away
3 days of perfect weather
1 lawn mowed
2 friends that came to sleep over
1 parade watched
1 flag waved, and waved, and waved

I'm no anchorwoman..

2010-05-24T21:14:00.003-04:00

I'm starting to show. I guess it's time to break the news to work. I already told my department head and principal, and both seemed genuinely thrilled for us, but I haven't told any co-workers besides my pregnant buddy, but I really think that it's time. I mean--I have no pants left to wear, people. Time to go shopping.

I really don't like telling people "news". I know, I'm weird. What's the most tactful, least-embarrassing way to break the news?

Blow Up

2010-05-21T12:51:00.002-04:00

Apropos of nothing, I turned comment moderation OFF because I found it so annoying, but I'm still getting possibly more annoying blog comments, so will likely be turning it back on, just to warn you.

So, where have we been? We've been..exhausted. The only reason I am able to type this right now is because I happen to be home with Theo for the day since our babysitter's daughter caught the nasty puke-your-brains-out bug going around S.'s school. NOT fun--so we really hope Theo does not get infected with that nastiness. Last week, his whole body BLEW UP with a red, red rash, accompanied by a running nose. Our doc called it some kind of coxsackie virus, but S. suspects it was fifth's disease, so today I went to the hospital lab to get some blood drawn just to check.

However, I am going to go with everything being all well and good on the pregnancy front. My intense hunger has subsided-for now-and we heard the heartbeat on Monday at our first midwife appointment. Yes! I'll be 12 weeks Sunday. That is rather mind blowing. S. is concerned that I haven't "popped" yet--only my ass and boobs seem to be doing the popping--but since I really don't have any summery maternity clothes yet, this is fine by me. Although, I don't know how much longer I can squeeze into my work pants, and I only fit into one pair of jeans. I will also add that my t-shirts look ridiculous on me and all need a size upgrade.

Another thing that BLEW UP in our face this week was some shocking news. Our donor--as in the one we used for Theo--became available again. And the bank DID NOT let us know, like they had said they would. We only found out via a message someone sent S. through the DSR. I didn't quite know what to do with this information. We agonized over what to do once our embryo transfers failed, and we were faced with having to choose a new donor if I wanted to become pregnant next. It took us a really long time to choose, and it's worth pointing out that we made a LOT of phone calls to our original bank inquiring about when our donor would become available again. I know that I was meant to be pregnant with the donor we used, since it worked---and it really will be fine. But there is just this little bug somewhere in the back of my head like--there are going to be half-siblings of Theo out there now-and they won't be mine.

Anyway, onwards we go. We're going to Boston this weekend with my sister (well, she lives there, so we're going to her apt.) then all visiting the Children's Museum. I have so many fond memories of visiting the Museum with my mother as a kid, so it's exciting to get to take Theo for the first time. Enjoy the lovely weather all!

Did you know that....

2010-05-10T19:50:00.002-04:00

...it is our FOUR YEAR bloggiversary? I really didn't imagine we would be still blogging, after blogging through the painfully long conception of Theo, S. being pregnant, Theo's birth and babyhood, and now my nascent pregnancy. Crazy, no? There are some blogs I've been following from the beginning, and some I've just found, and others who have sadly just disappeared from the blog world after enduring too much pain. I ache for those friends we started with whose journey did not end up the way they wanted or expected.

On Saturday, we attended a huge picnic to celebrate our hospital's 20-year IVF program. There were nearly 300 IVF-conceived kids there. We got to see our doctors and nurses again, get a free lunch, and free admission to the city museums. It was really wonderful and--amazing--to see how many people's journeys happily ended in family. What was surprising, though, was that there were hardly any other lesbian couples there--we only saw a few. But I know many of them use our doctor for IUIs and are lucky enough to stop there. It made us a little teary-eyed and oh-so grateful for our little lovey.

Updates

2010-04-30T21:42:00.002-04:00

Updates, updates, updates...

We got our last scan at the RE's office yesterday. We got marvelous pictures and the babe is measuring ahead of schedule at 8w6d (I was 8w3-4d yesterday). Heartbeat is nice and fast and we can see the beginnings of the umbilical cord. The little gummy bear looks so different from just two weeks ago--it is flabbergasting, really. I guess this finally feels, well...real.

I guess I should have known--I haven't felt too swell lately. Behold my dinner last night. I prepared a marvelous lemon-parmesan asparagus pasta, only to turn my nose up at it at serving time. Instead I indulged in ginger ale, a sleeve of Saltines, and half a bag of Sour Patch Kids. It is literally the only thing I wanted to eat. At least I'm eating. And often. One of my friends whom I work with (also a lesbian, also an English teacher, also pregnant, also already has a son--weird or what?) told me she gets so sick of eating and I thought she was exaggerating.

And now I'm off to eat more crackers.

Wonders of the Sea

2010-04-27T17:33:00.003-04:00

We always knew Theo loved the water, but we didn't know how he'd react to seeing water animals. Turns out it was almost as good a reception as a train or truck, and that is pretty darn good. Imagine screaming accompanying the surprised, happy face, and you've pretty much got our day.

Peeping into the beluga tank

Giant indoor tropical fish tank (fuzzy picture thanks to camera shake and no flash, but it looks pretty cool anyway!)

All hands (8 of them!) in the sting ray, sans stingers, tank with cousins T and twins M and F

What's next? Or, am I seriously fat already?

2010-04-23T18:29:00.003-04:00

We had our intake appointment yesterday at the m/w office where 7 (!) vials of blood were taken for my prenatal workup. I have no idea what they are testing me for, but okay. The nurse already had to ask if I feel like I am gaining weight. Uh-oh. Let's just say that since I've, um, neglected myself over the past year or so, I've put on a couple extra pounds. So whether I've already gained weight or not, I don't know--I only know that I started off looking like I was already 8-10 weeks pregnant. I am just hoping my body is resting and waiting to catch up instead of the weight taking off like a rocket. Jeesh.

But, I am always.hungry. Always.hungry. Or, I am vaguely nauseated. To ward of nausea, I eat. It's worked the past couple of days, except yesterday I went past the point of hunger and catapulted down into severe nausea, so I learned my lesson. I traveled today with (literally) a bag full of snacks. Good times. Yes, this will really help keep my weight gain to a minimum, I'm sure.

Vacation is pretty much over---here's the last of our vacation pics from NYC. We went to Mystic Aquarium today with 3 other children. It was chaotic but a blast. Pics to follow. For now, Brooklyn Botanical Gardens (with the cherry blossoms at their PEAK!):

from below, looking up into the heavy boughs

2010-04-19T19:04:00.004-04:00

I DO NOT KNOW how people in New York City do it--two mammas, one 30+ pound baby boy, a 16 lb. stroller, and probably miles of walking later...we are tre pooped and DONE with walking around the city for the day. We checked out Times Square yesterday just to show Theo the Times Square Toys R'Us (it was a love/hate relationship, as you'll see in the pictures below). Today we walked up and down the High Line, down through the West Village, through Washington Square Park, down Broadway to Chinatown, ate lunch there and then hopped on the train up to Tiffany's and then walked down to Herald Square where the H&M has, apparently, the best maternity tank tops ever (NYC women take note!). Whew. Back home tomorrow night or Wed. afternoon to veg out, deal with garden and yard stuff, and grade a stack of papers that seems half a foot tall. Fun.

Real fun:

Am I just paranoid...??

2010-04-16T22:09:00.002-04:00

I'M ON VACATION!

Just wanted to get that out of the way.

I continue to have weird symptoms - simultaneous nausea and hunger - so it's not that I'm worried that anything bad happened, but two nights ago I happened to have a very diluted cup of sassafras tea. What is this, you may ask? Only the most delicious natural-root beer flavored stuff ever. Only, after I drank it, it dawned on me that maybe I should check whether it's contraindicated in pregnancy....oh boy. If you're curious, just go and Google "sassafras in pregnancy" and see what horrifyingly scary things come up, including uterine stimulation and birth defects. Uh-huh. No joke.

So then I see, on these other herbal websites, all the OTHER herbs I should avoid in pregnancy. Jeesh. No camomile? Lavender? Seriously? WTF am I supposed to drink? I gave up coffee and now even decaf is kind of not that good anymore, and tea's all I've got left. I like me a hot beverage, and love iced tea in the summer. What, tell me, what can I drink? Any past/present preggos care to chime in? Or, am I just being overly paranoid?

2010-04-14T18:40:00.002-04:00

So, here's how our morning went:

We got to the RE's office and my vitals were taken. Then, one of the lovely nurses there came in to chat because, honestly, I don't think they knew what to do with us. It was like--okay, you're here for a pre-op, but you're pregnant? What? How did that happen? Sooo..what are you doing here exactly?! It's not like they said that, but everyone was kind of in awe. So our doc came in, congratulated us, did the scan, and...voila!! An egg sac with a beating heart inside, measuring just what it's supposed to with it's heart beating at precisely the right rate. Ahhhh....relief doesn't even cover it.

At one point though, there were six people in the room including me: our doc, the nurse, the student doctor who is working with our doc, S., and then the regular u/s tech whom we love. Mind you this room is like, smaller than the bathrooms. But--I didn't really care. We got a pic of the little blob, are actually going back in two weeks for a follow-up scan, and....this is the best news...I can stop taking the darn progesterone because doc thinks everything is doing what it's supposed to. YES! Bye-bye, constipation! (Well, you know, until real pregnancy constipation sets in.)

It was a good day. Except for the mechanic who didn't do what he was supposed to (not even going to go into that), everything was lovely.

It's a date!

2010-04-12T18:03:00.003-04:00

Good news! I called the office, talked to one of the wonderful IVF nurses who we've had a great relationship with in the past three years, and she actually encouraged me to come in. She's e-mailing my doc to tell her, and she doesn't think it's weird (or immoral) at all. She was even like, "the first ultrasound is just so fun." So, yeah. Guess I have nothing to worry about. Except for worrying about all the other things.

Wednesday it is. It's a date!

Moral Dilemma

2010-04-10T20:19:00.003-04:00

Wow, when I actually feel like eating, food is really good. I should have known, 1 week into the tww, that I was pregnant when I ate 5 Chips Ahoy cookies in a row and it was the most euphoric, delicious thing I had ever tasted.

Anyway, on to my moral dilemma. I am scheduled for a surgery to get my cyst removed in two weeks. Obviously, I'm not having the surgery. So here is the dilemma. My pre-op appointment is this Wednesday. Should I go anyway and just say, hey, I'm newly pregnant but just want to make sure the pregnancy is viable before canceling my surgery. Is that ethical? Because I'm sure that an ultrasound is part of my pre-op just to check out the location and size of the cyst.

Is that bad? The thing is, I'm not going to get an ultrasound for a while because we did our IUIs with the midwives instead of our RE. It's pure selfishness, really, me wanting to get an ultrasound to see if things are going well, if there's a real thing with a heart beating, growing inside of me. But am I wasting someone's time and money by going about it this way? I feel really bad, actually. I suppose I could call the office first and check.

What do you think, oh upright moral readers?

The Bubs

2010-04-07T21:20:00.003-04:00

Promised pics from the bubba at Easter. From top to bottom, his first car washing experience, opening presents on Easter morning, dressed up, then, no so much during an Easter egg hunt.

Muddling Through--What's Next?

2010-04-05T16:20:00.002-04:00

Well, so--still pregnant as far as I know. My appetite is all out of whack-I get hungry, then as soon as I start eating I'm not hungry. No nausea, but just weird food things--like not craving sweets. That is a big giveaway for me--I hardly ate any dessert at Easter yesterday!! I just feel really, really bloated-too bloated to eat a lot. So I guess now we just...wait? Until, what, 10 weeks or so? I don't even know when to go back to the midwife!! AHHHH!!!

Thank you for all your kind comments--they mean a lot to us, as all good bloggy women know. And...holy cow, there will be A LOT of snowbabies (depending on which part of country you live in, that is) popping out this winter!!! YAY!

Pics from Easter soon. Let's just say that when the day started, Theo looked like he came out of a J Crew catalogue. By the end of the day, he looked like we dragged him out of the dumpster.

Extreme Kookiness

2010-04-02T15:19:00.004-04:00

It feels extremely kooky to be writing this post, but here goes nothing.

15dpo: 3 positive hpts.

16dpo: paranoid patient that I am, made my midwife give me a beta. beta number = 199

17dpo: took another hpt: still very positive.

18dpo: twiddling my thumbs with anxiety.

19dpo: beta #2 - 600.

Guess this is some for-reals business going on. My doubt stems from all the cramping I've been experiencing since 13dpo or so - which I thought was proof positive AF was on her merry way. Some of it feels grossly uncomfortable, enough to make me not want to stand up, but so far, so good - no spotting to accompany, no AF (although I am taking progesterone supplements). So, here's the proof positive:

I won't subject you all to photos of the other 3 hpts I fervently took this week.

P.S. - for all peeps in know IRL--please don't congratulate me on Facebook. You all have enough common sense to know this, but I've read some horror stories...didn't that happen to someone around here recently?!

P.P.S. - for all the famiglia I'll be seeing this weekend - just tap us on the shoulder and smile, please, until I'm ready to share at large. We are telling my mama and sis when we land there tomorrow morning.

2010-03-23T20:32:00.003-04:00

I am feeling the least bit symptomatic of being pregant, and symptoms I do feel (hunger, bloat, sore boobs, extreme anxiety and moodiness) I am attributing to the progesterone. However, I am only 7 dpo, more or less, and with another week to go of the tww, I am trying to stay positive--or at least neutral. If this try does not work, then I am already booked for a surgery to get my cyst removed next month. I am really, really not looking forward to this surgery (it's supposed to hurt for a week after), so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I see two lines next week.

On a funnier note..my kid is hilarious. And..he is 20 months old. As in 2-0. In a whole other set of numbers old. 24 months seems so, so close. And his mommies...so, so sad. Where is our little boy? Below, witness the big boy consuming an ENTIRE corned beef sandwich at our local St. Patrick's Parade.

And did you know...?

2010-03-16T19:49:00.002-04:00

Did you know that, as a side perk of increasing progesterone production (hopefully), B-complex also turns your pee the color of Mountain Dew? Quite amusing!

Oh, NOOOO!

2010-03-15T17:50:00.003-04:00

Ahh yes, and as soon as I took comment moderation off, I get a block of Chinese spam, as Shroedinger pointed out. Just loverly!

I feel very good about the timing of these insems. We did one in Noho yesterday at a beauuuutiful new space there called Cr@dle, done by the same mw that delivered Theo (a good sign? I hope so.), then another one this morning. My midwife is fairly certain, as am I, that I ovulated last night because my temp did go up, but I was still very open with LOTS of ewcm. She old me it was as good a timing as she's seen, so that is tre hopeful. I had to go alone this morning and tell a white lie to work about not being able to come to my first 2 classes, but it's all good. Now I just sit back and wait as my nerves jangle about my short luteal phase. I start progesterone supplements Wed. night and bought some B-complex to take in addition.

Aaaaand, guess what word Theo has learned? NO!!! Ahhh, yes, the wonderful world of NO, or, as he likes to say in a way-too cute voice, OH, NOOOOO!!!!!! It takes our all not to imitate him and give him the wrong idea that it's actually a fun and cute word that's okay to say all the time. I guess it was inevitable.

All systems go!

2010-03-13T21:44:00.003-05:00

I turned comment moderation OFF. To tell you the truth, it was really more annoying than having to delete random-ass comments. So, feel free to fire away again.

My OPK finally turned positive (jeesh, only took until day 17--lordy my cycle is screwed up) and it looks like I'm heading in tomorrow morning. Yikes. We went for 2 vials this week; our midwives' insem policy with 2 vials is to do the inseminations at 12 hours and 36 hours after a peak reading. To me, the last one seems a little late. Thoughts? I feel like I'm an on-the-early-side ovulator, but don't really have consistent proof because I only started temping last month. Dummy dumb-dumb dummy. ALWAYS DO YOUR TEMPS! Lesson learned. But, at least I'll feel good about tomorrow morning's insem, and hope the egg doesn't leave the nest before Monday morning.

2010-03-09T21:25:00.003-05:00

Well. I guess my cycle last month really was a fluke, because I went in for a follicle scan yesterday, day 12, and there was one pretty tiny follicle present. It needs to get twice as big before it's ready. So, probably back for another scan later this week. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Erg. The swimmers (2 vials) are landing tomorrow.

We're also waiting for Spring over here. We got a sneak preview this weekend. Oh boy, was it a good feeling basking the sun, watching the rivulets of melting mountain snow trickle down the hills and into the streams and rivers, and walking---walking outside! Yes, it was muddy, but all the more puddles for Theo to jump into.

Oh yeah, remember Theo? In my megalomaniacal quest to get pregnant, I seemed to have forgotten that this blog is named after the cutest BABY. Jeesh. Well, he's a crazy, hilarious maniac, and that's probably all you need to know for now. Oh yeah...and CUTE!

Proof of the actual sun actually melting the snow:

Mental Health Day

2010-02-26T12:22:00.002-05:00

Sorry, this is very annoying to some people, but I had to turn my comment moderation on. I was getting super-weird messages from super-weird places. You know what I mean. So if it takes a day or two for your comments to pop up, please do not be offended! I don't always check my e-mail daily (crazy, I know).

Babysitter's daughter has strep, so Theo's home with me today. I needed a mental health day anyway. Did anyone else have a horrible week?? The weather is just compounding the misery. The planets are definitely aligned in some wacky, wacky way. Hoping next week is better.

Oh - and it's CD2. This confirms it - I have a ridiculously short luteal phase. Since I am 99% sure I ovulated between CD 13 and 14, that would have made my luteal phase for my last cycle 8 days long. 8 days! That is insanity. Progesterone after this month's insem for sure, and if we get a BFN, perhaps onto some Cl@mid? I know it's worked miracles for many of you.

Have a great weekend. If it's snowing where you are - ENJOY IT! Our snow storm this week was a bust, blowing forth drippy, wet snow that turned into 4 inches of slush on our gravel driveway which then turned into pouring rain. Spring, are you around the corner somewhere?

Regrouping

2010-02-22T21:09:00.002-05:00

I have to say, I only mourned this cycle for about 6 hours - basically, from the time I woke up and my temp peaked and I knew I had ovulated, to the time I was able to call the sperm bank and cancel our shipment at the last minute. I guess I just felt good that, hey, my cycle was regulating itself, and that I pretty successfully could identify multiple signs pointing to impending ovulation. I'm just hoping with earlier monitoring next cycle we'll have really good timing. I'm feeling good.

Oh, and all our woes from last week seemed to have worked out. I visited my Grammy in the hospital and her recovery is going great; Theo's nose is still weird, but damn he's cute; our car wheel is fixed; and my tire hasn't deflated anymore since the fill-up. Oh yes, things are looking up.

Do check out these pictures of Theo taken by our good friends Stacey & Peter during a Winter walk this weekend. You will laugh when you get to the last one, I guarantee!

When it rains..

2010-02-17T22:55:00.004-05:00

Remember that "I'm on vacation and relaxing, damnit!" attitude I had last Thursday? Oh, how things change so quickly.

WARNING: there is lots of what is likely to be interpreted as "whining" in this post. At least, that's what S. would call it. I just call it "talking." But you've been warned either way.

So, where to start. Let's start at the very beginning.

During our weekend trip to Martha's Vineyard, Theo fell off a set of stage stairs flat on his face and got a HUGE shiner on his cute-as-a-button nose. When we returned Sunday, we noticed two incredibly huge and hard lumps on either side of his nose. We thought he may have broken it, so today we got a last-minute appointment with our ped. who does not think it is broken, bruised, or fractured. We totally disagree with her. His nose did NOT have those weird bumps before he fell face-first onto the floor. Grr.

Then, on the way to Theo's gymnastics class on Monday, I drove into a nasty pothole (damn freeze-thaw cycles!) while driving S.'s car. Immediately after, the steering wheel started shaking. I took it in today to get looked at. Diagnosis: a bent wheel. Cost of repair: $200. Yay.

I then find out my grandmother had triple-bypass surgery yesterday, only my mother neglected to call and tell me and now I look like a horrible daughter for not calling her yesterday to see how things went. I think I fixed that mistake and will travel two hours on Friday or Saturday to see my grandmother once she's out of the ICU.

Oh, and the best one yet...I ovulated. And our sperm wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow.

Let me explain that I don't usually get a peak reading on my monitor or opks until around days 17-19. I got a peak on my monitor day 13, and by day 14, my follicle was gone. I went in for an ultrasound this morning, and there was nothing left but fluid. That ship sailed sometime last night. And us, sperm-less, could do nothing about it except respectfully bow out of this cycle.

It also snowed yesterday, so I got up at 5:00 this morning to shovel and snowblow to get out of the driveway to make it to my u/s appointment.

Okay, I'm done bitching now. Our bffs are coming back around this way for a visit the rest of the week so we can have some actual fun.

Whining over.

2010-02-11T22:09:00.001-05:00

What the hell is with all of my junk blog comments lately? Does anyone else have that problem? I even have the word-thingy on, but it doesn't seem to prevent the random "Hello, nice blog! check out mine at..." comments that lead to random-ass things.

Just a rant. But I'm on vacation now so I.DON'T.CARE! Let the week of relaxing begin.

Conversation Hearts

2010-02-10T17:01:00.003-05:00

S: It's almost Valentine's Day. What did you get me?
Me: I thought we weren't exchanging presents. Did you get me something?
S: Yes.
Me: What? Seriously? I thought we agreed not to!
S: I got you 56 million little presents.
Me: What?
::thinks::
Me: Oh. Thanks, baby!

Yes, that's right--more sperm, coming our way soon, next week with an insem hopefully next weekend or the beginning of the week after. We're doing two vials this time - next cycle we're taking off because we don't want to have a baby around Christmas. Selfish, maybe, but hey, if we can control it, why the hell shouldn't we? At least it's one thing we have control over.

I certainly don't have control over this thing right here; just look at the mess he made of my laundry!

2010-02-05T17:28:00.001-05:00

Onwards we go. BFN.

I'm glad to have Theo around to cheer me up through this process.

Growing Up

2010-01-29T22:23:00.002-05:00

In all the hubbub about our first IUI, we neglected to mention that Theo is officially (as of a week ago) and one-and-a-half-year-old. Or, an 18-month old, depending on your personal preferences.

So what is the lovey up to? All of a sudden, he just knows oh-so much. He points and nods and gesticulates wildly when he's excited about or wants something. Ask him something, and he can point to it. People speak of there being a sign explosion or a language explosion. I wouldn't call it that exactly. It's just--an involvement explosion? I don't know. He's just different in a big-boy way. He also climbs up everything. Stools. Ladders. Couches. Chairs. Tables. Anything mountable he can find a way to scramble up.

On the words front, I don't think he still has officially met the "10 words by 18-months" quota, but some of his frequent words are mama, munny (for mommy), lala (elmo), ball, ba (for bottle, though he doesn't take one anymore, so it now means a sippy cup of milk), light (sort of), and I swear the other day he said "stair" as we were going upstairs, but who knows.

So, not 10. But, he points and nods and babbles away. I'm not really worried, but I'm no early childhood specialist like my darling wife, who analyzes everything Theo does. The car pile-ups down his parking garage ramp; the occasional lining up of cars. Does it mean anything? Of course not necessarily. But she's still watching him like a helicopter mom. One of the teachers at S.'s schools, after hearing Theo's list of "symptoms," like not being able to hold his spoon properly, said, "oh, yeah. you should get him tested." Sometimes S. needs to be kept in check.

And, sometimes it's a bad thing when teachers turn into parents.

And did I mention the boy self-weaned himself off the bottle? He did indeed. Just stopped being interested in it at night and now happily (er, sort of) will have his pajamas put on, his teeth brushed, a book read to, and then plop into bed.

That's the love. He never stops moving and never stops amazing us and testing us. I think we're already getting a preview of the fabled terrible twos, as he's taking to smacking us in the fact without warning. Yes. Any advice on that one? Maybe in another post.

Self-medicating

2010-01-24T20:57:00.002-05:00

I am self-medicating the way I learned it watching S. get multiple IUIs and me prepare my body for the 2 embryo transfers we did last year. After most of S.'s IUIs, she was given prometrium supplements to bulk up her lining and prevent an early lining loss, which may trigger miscarraige.

Me, I have a ridiculously short luteal phase--we're talking 10 days at best, and I've even had it as low as 7 or 8 days. I am so paranoid that, should this insemination have actually worked, that the pregnancy won't take or last because I ovulated so late in my cycle (CD 19 was the insem and I think I ovulated that afternoon/night).

One would think my cycle length would be commensurate with my late ovulation, but it's normal - 28 to 29 days, leaving me this month, best case scenario, with a 10 day luteal phase. Not long enough for my comfort.

Since we did the IUI Friday afternoon, there was no one in the office to talk to, so I am planning on giving them a call tomorrow just to check and make sure it's okay. I kind of feel like it's in the "can't hurt-might help" category--I just want to make sure I'm not taking too much.
Returning the blasted tank tomorrow via FedEx. Always a joy to see the look on the FedEx worker's face when picking up and returning a large box labeled "Biological Shipper."

Did we mention how sick Theo is AGAIN? What the heck. Ear infection, on antibiotics. Had a high fever for a few days and a snotty nose and coughy chest. Poor bug, but he is finally on the mend.

Down the Hatch

2010-01-22T19:51:00.002-05:00

IUI #1 (and hopefully "and only") is done. It was terrible. I won't horrify everyone with too many details, but basically the insemination induced body-bending cramps resulting in nausea and, um..other stuff the cramps can induce...for nearly 45 minutes. I mean, I was dizzy, sweating, shaking...it was not a pretty sight. WHY? Has this happened to anyone else before? S. also had some bad insems where the cramping was really painful. But this..this was just...enough to make you never want to be pregnant!

Annnddd..to top off the weirdness, the first time the midwife looked at the sperm under the microscope, the sperm were all DEAD. Not moving. Nothing. So she checked again and then...magic! There were a ton of them swimming around. Strange, strange, strange.

All in all, it's a day I am glad is over.

And now we wait.

Dear Body, Please Behave. Love, Me.

2010-01-17T20:11:00.004-05:00

My body is doing weird things.

Note: please stop reading if you do not enjoy/cannot take reading about weird things that go on when women are trying to reproduce.

So, my cyst (I feel like I should name it. Any suggestions? It's pretty hefty.) may be causing these strange things to happen before they are supposed to: ewfm before I have even hit the "medium" reading on my fertility monitor; low, low cramping; and extreme mood swings.

Example: I started crying in Ikea yesterday when S. suggested that I should probably go try to use the restroom. What the heck??!! We had to take a detour through some ugly bookshelves until I composed myself.

Then, later that day, I started to have these strange, low low cramps, but according to the fertility monitor that morning, I was still on "low" fertility. Odd. (I still have them, by the way.)

And then..oh yes, and then...I went into the bathroom later on that day to find...ewfm. I was all, seriously, body? Are you really doing this to me when my sperm isn't even going to be in the same time zone as me until Tuesday??!!

So, I peed on an OPK. Nothing. It totally corroborated the evidence from my monitor that morning. I was so sure this morning I would either move up to medium or get a peak reading, but it was still LOW!!! LOW!!

What is going on? Is this going to be the one month my body doesn't follow the pattern? Go figure. Go freaking figure.

Wait, I said I wasn't going to freak out, so I'm going to go make myself some hot chocolate, enjoy the Golden Globes, and not thing about what my body is doing wrong or right.

Feelin' Groovy

2010-01-15T23:32:00.003-05:00

Well, I think I'm ready. I'm as ready as I'll ever be for whatever comes. We picked a new donor, arranged to work with our midwives who delivered Theo to do insems for at least a couple of months, and ordered said specimen to arrive next week for the big day. My monitor seems to be working, and there's a fresh box of OPKs under the sink.

I kind of can't wait to start, because I just have a feeling this may be a long trip ahead. But who knows? With no indication of whether I'm fertile or not, anything goes.

I feel relaxed, which is very uncharacteristic of me. Does this mean that something is WRONG already??

::Cue freak-out::

Just kidding. You will certainly know when freak-out time has arrived. For now, enjoy the silence.

Wasn't Expecting That One!

2010-01-08T19:55:00.003-05:00

We met with our R.E. yesterday to talk about our next steps, whether she thought I needed to be tested because we failed with our 2 FETs, and how insems would work at their clinic. (It's been quite a long time since we've been there for that and we honestly couldn't remember.) Looking over my chart, she noted again the 5 cm cyst I have on my left ovary and thought there was a possibility that I had endometriosis.

Come again?! Okay, this cyst has been sitting on my ovary for years now, and no one has ever mentioned the "E" word before. And when one is about to embark on an unknown journey into conception with donor sperm, that's about the last thing she wants to hear.

She described other symptoms of endometriosis and it was like running down a checklist of my cycles. Cramping before period but after ovulation: yup. Cramping after period is through: yup. Occasional spotting after period is over: yup.

Oh crap.

A large boulder has started to form inside my stomach. However, at this point we have absolutely no clue how or even if potential endo. will interfere with conception. We haven't even tried my eggs yet, remember?? But she was noticing from past ultrasounds that most of my follicles end up growing on my right ovary, not my left.

Clomid, anyone?

For now, we decided that we're actually going to do a couple of natural cycles using the monitor, OPKs and our midwife's office instead of the R.E. It's more low-key and probably cheaper for us in the long run to try it this way. And hey, we'll see what happens. If I do have endo, it's probably a mild case, as it only causes me slight discomfort if any, my tubes are clear, and the cyst hasn't grown significantly (at least not yet, anyway). She offered laproscopy as a possibility to remove the cyst, but that just sounds too scary right now.

So, we're gearing up for our first insem, my first ever IUI, in a couple of weeks with the midwife. A new donor. A new kind of insemination for me. A shot for my eggs to cooperate. And, of course, a shot at a new baby.

Whoa.

--cd

Mystery Word

2010-01-02T20:27:00.001-05:00

Theo has a mystery word. He's been uttering a word that sounds like "pie" for several days now. I suppose it could be pie, but the way he says it, it's more like, "piiiiiiiiiiie, piiiiiiiiiie."

He's not necessarily pointing at anything when he says it either. Hmmm...

Burgeoning language skills are fun - and mysterious.

Highs/Lows

2010-01-01T14:16:00.006-05:00

So, I've been told several times in the last 24 hours that it is not, in fact, the turn of the decade. Who cares. It feels like it, so that's what I'm believing in.

At the very least, I will indulge in more reminiscing by reviewing the highs and lows of 2009, to put them behind me in anticipation of the New Year and hopeful Good New Stuff in Our Lives.

HIGHLIGHTS (Theo-related stuff):

Seeing Theo turn 1. Holy crap. My kid went from an infant to a baby-toddler who walks, talks, and feeds himself.

Beaching it up in RI.

Stumbling around the yard during our gorgeous New England fall.

Experiencing the wonder and joy of Christmas.

Additional highs: us becoming a "Mac" (sorta) family with the purchase of a M@cBook and a Touch (yes this is exciting, dammit!); family beach vacation; S. feeling like a seriously rocking teacher; an actual brand new, purchased appliance in the form of a new washer/dryer pair, making us feel oh-so grown up.

LOWLIGHTS:

Yes, there are always lowlights. This year was particularly hard on our family, as we lost S.'s grandmother, my grandfather, and our family dog, Ringo in about a 4-month span of time. The holidays this year were especially tough as we felt the absence of their presences at our holiday tables (and under it, in Ringo's case).

Ringo nuzzling a 3-month-old Theo

We thought were were ready for a new dog, but when we went to look at some shelter dogs, we realized that, while our hearts went out to these homeless animals, they weren't ready to be opened wide all the way to be let in. The space is still occupied. I think we also realized that at Theo's age, a new pet is probably not idea. When Theo turns 4 or 5, and he can be involved in all the day-to-day parts of having a new dog, it will be time. Other lowlights: being pregnant for like, a week, then being not-not-not pregnant and my body having to deal with the consequences of that. We are reading to head into the next year with our hearts and my body fully invested in taking ttc seriously as we try to give Theo a sibling.

I already wished you all warmest New Year's wishes, but once again, may you eat well, love well, and be well in 2010.

Insane Decade

2009-12-31T15:28:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking back a lot on the past 10 years. I went from a 20-year-old college student to a 30-year-old mother with a wife, house, and steady job. For ha-has, here's a list of random assorted facts, figures and events from the past 10 years.

In the last 10 years, I went from: age 20 to age 30.

I lived in: 2 dormitories, 5 apartments, and 1 house in 2 different countries and 2 different states with a total of 13 different roommates

For school, I: graduated college and then, 3 years or so later, from grad school

Had: 3 different jobs and 2 different careers

Dated: really only a handful of people, one of whom I'm married to now

Gained: 10-15 pounds

Saw: the Twin Towers in flames down the street, the first Black president, the birth of my son, the legalization of gay marriage in many places, and myself commit to someone forever

There's a whole lot more that happened, obviously, but those are some of the major events of my whirlwind decade. Most of those things happened within the first 5 years of the last decade, with the past 4 years being incredibly steady and the same (except for that whole wife giving birth thing). What a strange transformation 20 to 30 is! I'm mostly happy to be putting the tumult of my early 20's behind me for good and looking forward to what 30 plus has in store.

May your New Year's Eves be special and meaningful--even if it's just you hanging around the house with those you love most. That's what I'll be doing tonight-thankfully and blessedly ringing in the next 10 years of insanity.

Happiest of Days

2009-12-25T12:28:00.005-05:00

So...WE MADE IT! It is Christmas Day. Our Christmas Eve preparations done, the dinner made and consumed, and now we get to actually relax with family. I can't explain to you how many times we felt like we were going to drop out of sheer exhaustion for the last week or so. Christmas Day is always easiest for us--we get to relax at S.'s parent's house and eat delicious food that I don't have to cook! This year we are joined by her brother, sis-in-law, and cousin Jackson who is 6 months younger than Theo. They were certainly spoiled this year by everyone!

And just to add to the excitement of a pile of presents...Theo's Auntie A. surprised us with a GIANT Elmo balloon. This is the very picture of sheer joy, excitement, and wonder.

Merry Christmas to all!

2009-12-15T13:27:00.003-05:00

Theo's fever seems to be winding way, way down. Thank goodness. Cold symptoms, however, seem to be setting in. Not so thankful for that.

For now, winter shots. I cannot believe the holidays will start colliding and exploding in nearly a week. May merriness abound (you know, after the floor is washed, house is cleaned, laundry is folded, meal is planned and baby is well).

Winterberry

Hey..let me out there, Mama!

Homemade wreath

Homemade baby

Sicks Kiddos and Holiday Hell

2009-12-14T21:03:00.003-05:00

I'm reading a lot of posts lately about sick bebes, and just to throw one more into the mix, Theo has some kind of massive bug going on. Saturday night, during a birthday party, the kid would.not.eat. For those of you who know Theo, this a sign that something is seriously wrong. He felt really hot so we took his temp and it was 103.something. Whoa. Now the house was crowded, and he and his buddy N., who is 4 months older, had been running around the house chasing each other all day long in joyful, screaming glee, but still. We T.ylenoled him up but a few hours later, he was still blazing hot.

Yesterday his temp actually got up to 104.3. Yikes.

Our ped. says it is probably the oink.oink.flu. Or, since the seasonal flu is just about peaking around these parts, that. He's on Tama.flu and lots of T.ylenol and M.otrin which is working to lower his fever to the 99-102 range. Definitely less scary than 104. Fortunately he's eating and drinking okay now and (knock on lots of wood right now) sleeping through the night. With a family holiday party this weekend and last-minute shopping and holiday meal preparation, we are hoping this virus passes quickly so we can drag him through what will be a crazy next week and a half or so.

Frustration

2009-12-09T16:39:00.003-05:00

I've been brewing up this post since the weekend, but got distracted/overwhelmed/annoyed to tears by Sears. Yes, Sears - google it, see if I care. Sears has been so disappointing. We ordered a fancy-pants washer/dryer - they sent it vented incorrectly and were unwilling to cooperate by scheduling a convenient time for the second delivery. So, diapers dirty since Sat., 1 hour 20 minutes on the phone, and it better get delivered tonight or it's all going back. Never again, Sears.

Anyway.

Speaking of annoying... baby showers! Why do we women do this to ourselves and pretend to like it. All showers. No, yours was not any better. I love the camaraderie of women, I really do. I enjoy a nice meal. I get that we all need the "stuff". I love your baby. I love you. What I hate is the sitting, the chit-chat, the reading of the cards and special notes, the games, watching someone open gifts, and ooh-and-ahhing for 4 hours on a weekend, when all I want to do is be home, getting things done and spending time with Theo.
I have a great solution! Happy-hour shower! It's a block of time, you come in, chat, leave your gift, have a conversation with the mommy-to-be, she can even open your present if that's your fancy. Food? Yes. Drinks? Yes. Presents? Yes. And you stay or leave whenever you like. Good, right? We need to band together women of the world and revolt!!!

Update: Sears brought us the dryer but gave us the wrong cord and just left. Ahhhhhh.

Lights! Smiles! Action!

2009-12-02T20:56:00.004-05:00

I'm kind of going into post-withdrawal, so here I am, posting...something.

How is your holiday shopping going? Well, we did something we thought we'd never, ever do--put lights on our front porch! Icicle hanging lights! Ahhhhh! There is a reason, however. We usually put those candles in the window, but with a little baby-toddler running amok around here, and one who is obsessed with lights at that, we were pretty sure they would all be smashed on the floor in a matter of minutes. But we wanted something sparkly and bright on the house. So---we bit the bullet and put the lights up tonight. To my surprise...they actually look really GOOD! We also have a homemade wreath (a Thanksgiving tradition at S.'s mom's house - before dinner wreath making with handpicked greens) with white lights hanging on the porch. We're in all sorts of Christmas spirit around here. Did I mention we also have our tree up? A fakey again this year, a smallish tabletop one. Again, the baby-toddler.

We'll leave you with some picks of our surly boy. You cannot get that kid to crack a smile when you try, but when he's ready to be happy, he's happy.

At the start of photo session--not so happy!
(This is what we'd call a "typical" Theo look--the kid sure can pout)

Warming up! (this ended up being our best shot!)

Finally, a genuine giggle and Theo accepts his fate.

Parting Thoughts

2009-11-30T22:28:00.003-05:00

We made it!

Things I liked the most about daily blogging:

getting to read comments from people whose blogs I've never read before and now have hooked up to my G@ogle reader. it makes me feel much more "in the loop." I feel like once we got pregnant, there was a whole "class" of us, so to speak, who graduated and I lost track of the undergrads, so it's good to be reading new journeys again!

having a place to vent

feeling mildly accomplished

Things I disliked:

the pressure of having to blog every day. Some days we barely came in under the wire! Ahh!

not having anything to say some days, which just highlighted our rather boring lives

whoever was the last one awake ended up doing the daily post, although most of the time we would watch over each others' shoulders

And there you have it! It's not quite the finale, since we're obviously keeping our blog and it's not like you'll never hear from us again, but I do feel a bit of parting sadness as the big sharing is kind of done for now. For those of you who followed along, we thank you. It's nice to know someone with a pulse is reading out there. Thank you for your comments on issues from the technical to the emotional to the mundane. And, for those of you who also participated, thank you! It was nice to have buddies also dragging their asses to their computers every evening to say whatever is on their minds (even if it's nothing).

See you in December - albeit a bit less frequently!

NaBloPoMo Nearing Its End

2009-11-29T22:36:00.003-05:00

This is our second-to-last post for NaBloPoMo. How did we do? I felt like daily blogging was both a chore and a pleasure. There were many nights when we'd sit there and really struggle to come up with something, anything, to write, and others where it felt easy and refreshing to vent, share, whatever. I'm wondering what our blogging habits will be like now--whether we'll be more diligent about writing, or slip back into our 'we're way too busy for this' mode and let it slide.

And can I share with you one of the big reasons we kept on blogging this month? If we stopped, we wouldn't be eligible for any of the prizes! I know the prizes are stupid, but it's fun to enter contests, and in the past year or two we've had pretty good luck winning stuff thanks to generous bloggers and Prizey (which, if you have the time and organization to keep up with, we highly recommend doing!! We won our extremely expensive organic crib mattress that way!)

I will think I'll miss having to think about what to post every night. So who knows--maybe you'll keep hearing from us after all is said and done.

Season of Light

2009-11-28T23:29:00.004-05:00

The holidays are in full swing around here these days. Thanksgiving is definitely the kick-start to our festivities. We've already achieved some measure of Christmas shopping success and begun the whirlwind family visits. I am usually quite a Grinch, but am actually looking forward to this year since Theo is just so incredibly different now than last year at this time (duh!). I think he's just going to love the holidays--the food, the company, the toys, the kids---and the lights! We think Theo's first word is light ("aight!"), so the lights on all the Christmas trees and store displays are pretty much putting him over the top. Below, Theo's weekend highlights: Thanksgiving dinner, admiring the color wheel on his grandparents' awesome vintage tinsel tree (I'm pretty sure he's thinking "OMG--lights AND motion? A.W.E.S.O.M.E.!, tub time with bubbles, and being amazed at how many "AIGHTS!" are on this thing! WOW!

Yes--the holiday magic has begun.

And, umm...I tried to post pictures of all these amazing highlights of Theo's weekend, but damn slow blogger won't upload my damn pictures and there are only 5 minutes left to get my daily post in. ARRRGGG!!! I'll try again tomorrow!

Update: Pics are here!

2009-11-27T21:40:00.002-05:00

Day two of Thanksgiving! C.'s sister made us a delicious T-day dinner tonight. I love two days of gorging on the most delicious food.

Went Black Friday shopping (not until 8am) and picked up a new washer/dryer. S@msung. Got great reviews, any experiences? Went in for the steam version, which were sold out by 5:30am. Ended up with the non-steam version but are just as happy. Hope they get the stink out of those cloth diapers. Because, yes, they stink. All. the. time.

Tired, full. And still feeling very thankful for it all.