Well--the student died yesterday afternoon. Somehow, after it stopped raining and the sun came out, I knew it. I got a phone call last night from my department head confirming this. It is sad, to say the least. Our principal got on our morning announcements TV show (yes, we have a TV studio in our school--it's quite cool) to announce it, give students permission to leave the class when they felt necessary, and have a moment of silence. Surprisingly, all but one (a very close friend of the victim) of my seniors came to 1st period today. I was amazed at their strength. I said we didn't have to do what I had planned, but they wanted to--and were okay. We read 17th century poems about sex and getting girls. They laughed. It was nice. My other kids were mellow-ish, one was blatantly disrespectful and rude, and the other, the class where I will be teaching the brother of the deceased, well..they are immature freshmen who weren't handling their grief too well, I think, but we talked about it.
At any rate, I feel like the kids are alright today, thanks to some action they took that made them feel better--a vigil last night, passing out white ribbons to wear today--sometimes kids really amaze me. They handled this with such grace and respect. And now I'm done being a downer, because the mattress we won is coming our way! Woo hoo!!
Oh, and thank you for the stories you shared about your personal experiences with loss as a student--they really did help me figure out what I was going to do today.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Good News, Sad News
Today we have some great stuff happening on the good news front, the first of which is that S.'s baby sugars came back normal!!! That is a major relief. The second is that S. has been entering on-line contests like mad and we actually won one, and it's big----an organic crib mattress! Can you believe it?! We had registered for one, and my mom was going to buy it, but now she can spend her money on baby in other ways. We are overjoyed! The third piece of good tidings is that S.'s cousin K. delivered her twins Friday and they are ridiculously tiny and cute, and mom is doing well. Yay yay yay.
On the sad news front, I am learning how to deal with teenage grief and loss as two of the seniors in the high school I teach at were in a serious car accident over the weekend, and one will probably not make it. I teach the younger brother of the boy who will probably not make it, plus a class of already-grieving seniors and I just really don't know what to do. I have never been faced with a situation like this as an educator, and it's hard enough to keep it together myself, let alone be a pillar of strength the kids can feel comfortable and safe around. How do I do this? I am so saddened for the school, the family, my student who will potentially lose his only brother--when you see these tragedies on the news, they seem so remote, so distant. You feel sadness for the families of the lost children, but never truly realize the impact this loss will have upon the faculty, other students, and the community at large. I don't pray, but I am sending good vibes out into the universe for this family and our school. I can be nothing but sad.
On the sad news front, I am learning how to deal with teenage grief and loss as two of the seniors in the high school I teach at were in a serious car accident over the weekend, and one will probably not make it. I teach the younger brother of the boy who will probably not make it, plus a class of already-grieving seniors and I just really don't know what to do. I have never been faced with a situation like this as an educator, and it's hard enough to keep it together myself, let alone be a pillar of strength the kids can feel comfortable and safe around. How do I do this? I am so saddened for the school, the family, my student who will potentially lose his only brother--when you see these tragedies on the news, they seem so remote, so distant. You feel sadness for the families of the lost children, but never truly realize the impact this loss will have upon the faculty, other students, and the community at large. I don't pray, but I am sending good vibes out into the universe for this family and our school. I can be nothing but sad.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
The pessimist is back...
This has been, by far, the worst week of my pregnancy. I sort of feel like I've been waiting for this shoe to drop. TTC was so hard that it seemed unreal that pregnancy was so easy.
First, we had our second ultrasound and the kidney issue has not resolved itself as of yet. The right kidney is measuring too large (the perinatalogist said it was measuring a 7 - 7, what? I don't have the foggiest. And the left, which is fine, is measuring a 5.) She said the baby will need to have its kidneys looked at right after birth and that we should come back for one more check before delivery. ugh. This issue could resolve on its own within 2 years, but we will need to be super alert for signs of infection. Or...it could be worse. I'm staying away from Dr. G00gle this time but the technical term is something like the kidney pelvis dilation.
Second, I failed the stupid one hour baby sugar test by the tiniest bit and now I have to waste 4 hours of my last vacation day at the hospital taking the three hour test. And I can't eat before. Hungry, hospital, bored, blood taken every hour - this is not the making of a good day. Damn gestational diabetes. Damn you.
Third, the lady who is supposed to teach our childbirth class is giving us the run around and I'm afraid I'll give birth before our class is even over. As of now, we'll be going until week 37. What!!??
Just so you know it's not all bad, we spent a lovely weekend in NYC. We walked, ate, shopped and checked out the new G@p Home for nursery stuff. We bought this adorable organic pea pod chew toy. Look, the baby is already playing with it. A lovely day. One person even offered me her seat on the subway. That felt nice.
First, we had our second ultrasound and the kidney issue has not resolved itself as of yet. The right kidney is measuring too large (the perinatalogist said it was measuring a 7 - 7, what? I don't have the foggiest. And the left, which is fine, is measuring a 5.) She said the baby will need to have its kidneys looked at right after birth and that we should come back for one more check before delivery. ugh. This issue could resolve on its own within 2 years, but we will need to be super alert for signs of infection. Or...it could be worse. I'm staying away from Dr. G00gle this time but the technical term is something like the kidney pelvis dilation.
Second, I failed the stupid one hour baby sugar test by the tiniest bit and now I have to waste 4 hours of my last vacation day at the hospital taking the three hour test. And I can't eat before. Hungry, hospital, bored, blood taken every hour - this is not the making of a good day. Damn gestational diabetes. Damn you.
Third, the lady who is supposed to teach our childbirth class is giving us the run around and I'm afraid I'll give birth before our class is even over. As of now, we'll be going until week 37. What!!??
Just so you know it's not all bad, we spent a lovely weekend in NYC. We walked, ate, shopped and checked out the new G@p Home for nursery stuff. We bought this adorable organic pea pod chew toy. Look, the baby is already playing with it. A lovely day. One person even offered me her seat on the subway. That felt nice.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Well it has just been too long since our last post so I figured we were due. I don't have any overly-thrilling news to report, other than the baby kicking me when I give S. a hug. That kid is still rocking and rolling like crazy in there! After we learned that Erin and Sara's water broke almost a full three weeks early, we realized that, now in our third trimester, it is entirely possible for the same thing to happen to us some time in the near future. The planner in S. is scared out of her wits. Me, I'm more of a go-with-the-flow--but plan just in case sort of person. So I'm not overly-freaking, but I do admit that the rash of early births around here has me a bit nervous! We don't even have a mattress yet for our crib! But I also know that this babe would have everything it needed for the first month or so of life without needing to buy anything off of our registry---us, diapers, a co-sleeper, and a lactating mommy!
Just as a side note, I'm really glad to see that mainstream media (The Today Show, NPR) is at least talking about the presence of BPAs in hard plastic, especially in baby bottles. Making people aware that this may even be a risk, however remote, is so important. I think Born Free will be doing a lot of business at Big Baby Store now that these stories have aired!
I did just come back from a three 1/2-day trip to FL to visit my grandfather. Ironically, the temps there and here were almost the same, but the difference--lots and lots of blooming flowers and trees, and of course--the beach! Two more days of vacation before I'm back to work (blah) and S. is on vacation. Her goal: complete the nursery. Like I mentioned, these early births got Mama in a panic. But somehow it just works--right?!
Just as a side note, I'm really glad to see that mainstream media (The Today Show, NPR) is at least talking about the presence of BPAs in hard plastic, especially in baby bottles. Making people aware that this may even be a risk, however remote, is so important. I think Born Free will be doing a lot of business at Big Baby Store now that these stories have aired!
I did just come back from a three 1/2-day trip to FL to visit my grandfather. Ironically, the temps there and here were almost the same, but the difference--lots and lots of blooming flowers and trees, and of course--the beach! Two more days of vacation before I'm back to work (blah) and S. is on vacation. Her goal: complete the nursery. Like I mentioned, these early births got Mama in a panic. But somehow it just works--right?!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
check that out!
Did you see that ticker?? We're into double digits baby - less than 100 days until our estimated due date. YIKES!
In other news, I've been feeling and seeing the baby move around like crazy. It seems she/he has finally moved up off of my cervix and into the top floor apartment of my uterus. Probably a 5 floor walkup :) I appreciate that. Strangers can tell I am pregnant, or I at least get the look at the belly and can hear the questions in the head saying, "I think she's...." I feel good, other than being so damn tired I feel hungover. I just can't sleep at night. It is sooo frustrating.
This is my cousin and I. She's in orange and about 3 weeks away from dropping identical twin girls. Yes, she wins.
In other news, I've been feeling and seeing the baby move around like crazy. It seems she/he has finally moved up off of my cervix and into the top floor apartment of my uterus. Probably a 5 floor walkup :) I appreciate that. Strangers can tell I am pregnant, or I at least get the look at the belly and can hear the questions in the head saying, "I think she's...." I feel good, other than being so damn tired I feel hungover. I just can't sleep at night. It is sooo frustrating.
This is my cousin and I. She's in orange and about 3 weeks away from dropping identical twin girls. Yes, she wins.
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