Monday, September 25, 2006

Animal Woes

Well, I know that it's nothing compared to what Marta and Eileen are going through with their pets over at mom-n-mama, but we're having some animal issues of our own over here in babymaking town. S, our friend Rose, and I came home Saturday evening from the Big E (which kicks butt, and if anyone is ever around during the Big E they should go, because it's the best county fair ever, except for the one on the Vineyard). Anyway, so we get home, go upstairs, and I notice there's a little yellow circle on the carpet. I reach down to touch---wet. I smell--definitely pee pee. I call to S., who is standing in the doorway of our "nursery" in front of a ring of cat poop. A ring of fresh cat poop. Um, eww.

So, our cat is pissed off at us, clearly. Either she hates her litter (probably not--she's not that picky except that she hates crystals) or she hates us (way more likely). See, ever since Ringo the doggy love muffin came into our lives, we admit we've been showing her less attention and affection. But we still love her and she does come and sleep on the bed with us (when Ringo doesn't chase her off--oh jeez).

Then, we made the mistake of taking all of the "forbidden toys" out of storage at S.'s parent's house and giving them to Ringo all at once. A "forbidden toy," in case you were wondering, is a toy that Ringo can't handle sharing or having. He won't leave its side to do anything (eat, sleep, pee), and if you go near him while he has it, he growls or barks at you and starts shaking uncontrollably. As I type, he's downstairs guarding all 3 of his forbidden toys (a bird, a sheep, and a little fuzzy round thing that squeaks). He's been there since last night. He won't move. He hasn't eaten. He's barely gone outside for more than 1 minute to go to the bathroom.

So why are we letting him have these? The theory goes that if we just leave him alone, he'll get over it and realize we're not going to take his toys away and he won't be possessive over them anymore. He's proving our theory wrong, of course, but we want to have faith in this little guy, because what happens when he claims our baby's toy as his own and won't give it back? He's never snapped at us, but you never know what he's apt to do around someone more his size, at his level--a kid may seem more intimidating to him. So--you can see why we're attempting to work out this problem.

We also have a mouse stalking our kitchen. Luna is guarding the refrigerator like it's Buckingham Palace waiting for that sucker to make an appearance, but he hasn't yet been so bold. Yes, I am setting down a mouse trap, the clap-trap kind, and I don't care what you think about me!

On the cheerful side of things, I called the ClearBlue corporation today and they completely replaced, free of charge, our minitor--and it's on its way back to us just in time for S.'s next cycle to begin in a few days (providing our last home insem didn't work). Phew!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Not schweaty balls...

Jeesh, not everyone knows what a swustache is, so I thought I'd translate - sweaty moustache. That's right. You know, when your upper lip sweats. It's an unattractive weird thing that my body does when my temperature rises, or I'm nervous, or..inseminating, apparently. Not like I can help it!

Give me the stir-ups!

It's funny, in the beginning I really wanted home inseminations - thinking they would be more relaxed and romantic and intimate. NOT SO. There is just nothing sexy about a syringe full of sperm (yuck, it smells) being stuck up my tw*t by a woman who, yes, I do love, but has a sw-ustache. And the panic and indecision about the timing and the placement. And just the stress of keeping the stuff inside. ugh. I miss the stir-ups. Boy, I never thought I would say that.
It would be f*cking ubelievable if this was it. I just can't imagine that Dr. K, doing IUI's, couldn't get it right over 3 months of trying and we did during that one night of, dare I say, chaos.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Totally inappropriate to be blogging right now, but...

I've just (like, 3 minutes ago) inseminated S. with our donor's sperm. It was really scary and I was sweating (not the image S. would like to be left with if this insem. happens to work, but oh well).

That's all--I just thought it was remarkable that I just did that. Me! S.! Us! Joyously galloping down the road to fertilization (we hope).

Friday, September 15, 2006

Where, oh where has my little cervix gone...

I would make a lousy gynocologist.

Not only do I not know the plural of cervix, I can't find it either. Where is this thing? I see mounds of flesh with leaky stuff. It must be around there somewhere, right? Maybe S. is just ovulating later and later these days, preventing me from seeing the open os. Perhaps the speculum isn't big enough. Or, I just suck. I don't know what my problem is, but I just can't seem to say with enough confidence, "I found it! I've got the golden ticket!"

This is frustrating for a number of reasons, but mostly because we're inseminating within the next 7 days. A tank of sperm is flying somewhere in a FedEx plane over our fair country on its way to my front porch by tomorrow morning. I have syringes in the waiting . What I don't have is the cervix. You've noticed most of my posts have been centered around this organ (is it an organ?). It's because I'm obsessed with it because I can't find it (or at least positively identify it). Jeesh. If I'd have know this would be the tricky part about the insem., and not the logistical end of it (which used to be the hardest part), I would have stuck to doing it in the dr.'s office.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Cervix slacker

I'm a cervix-slacker. I should have been looking at S.'s cervix ever since her period was over, but I haven't. We just haven't had any time to do anything except work, work, work. Tonight, I did not bring home any papers to grade. I will read the prologue to Canterbury Tales, write my lesson for tomorrow, and gaze deeply and lovingly into what I think is S.'s cervix and see what's up. We got our syringes today from Chris (hooray!) so it's kind of just hit me that--hello--we have some inseminations to be doing here, people! Wake up! I think both S. and I have been in a fertili-daze--not really focusing on it, although S. has been good about her temps and charting like a good girl. I think after feeling so frustrated about spending hundreds of dollars on a monitor that doesn't work, we weren't feeling up for the task, but I'm feeling ready to go again. Here's hoping our timing works out for our first cycle sans the HCG shot.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

i really hate...

...the anniversary of 9/11. i don't want them to say anything about it at school tomorrow. i don't want to watch the news. i don't want anyone to talk to me about it or ask me about what i was doing that day or anything else. i just can't deal with significantly-numbered anniversaries of anything bad, because then it makes me feel old and it makes me feel...just bad. 5. 5 years??!!! what the heck...

i know this has nothing to do with pregnancy or cervixes, but i just had to share it, because..well...i don't know, just because. because the burning stench still lingers in my nostrils if i squeeze my eyes and think hard about it, because the people looking dazed and stumbling up broadway are as good as in front of me, and because i don't live in nyc anymore--i just don't want to talk about it.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Busy, busy, in a tizzy...

Hurry, hurry, hurry, 'till it's done! We've been working our little arses off to get our house in ship-shape for a housewarming party we had today, hence the lack of posts. The party is finally over, thank you lord, but we had a great time. I'm just glad I won't be staying up until 1 in the a.m. to hang pictures and clean the house. That sucked.

You know what else sucks? Our fertility monitor. It's so not working like it's supposed to. Instead of asking us for a test stick on day 6, like it's supposed to, it displayed the brush and exclamation point symbol, which means you have to clean the place where you stick the pee stick in. Now, this is a brand new fertility monitor, supposedly--we did actually remove it from the plastic and have to set it up and everything, so we know it's new--so what the heck is the problem? There is no urine to cake the reader. We haven't had a chance to cake up the reader with our urine because it won't ask us for a freaking pee stick! I called the lovely folks at the manufacturer three days in a row, and finally they just decided to send me a Fed-Ex mailer to send it to them, where they'll either fix the problem or send us a new one. Sweet! At least we'll get our money's worth eventually, but looks like we're out for this cycle. Back to predicting ovulation the old-fashioned way--through cervical mucus, temperature, cervix gazing, and OPKs. So much for technology!

I'd like to use this chance to give a shout-out to two very important boys in our life--two high school friends of mine who have been excellent moral supporters of myself and S. and our road to babymaking. Danny, my buddy in Minneapolis, has been reading our blog and enjoying reading about S.'s cervix. (Well, probably not since Danny is gay--I'm not outing you Dan, am I? Ha ha..) And then there's Chris, who I'm sort of related to as a cousin thrice removed through marriage, and whose family owns a pharmacy in Waltham, MA (incidentally, that's where the stupid Clear Blue Easy corporation is!). The pharmacy has gone au naturale recently, and he's sent S. some lovely women's wellness pills with all the good fertility herbs in them. He's also our hook-up for the syringes we'll use for insem. this cycle. Thanks, boys! (And we thought men were only good for their sperm!)

Friday, September 01, 2006

We love new toys!

We finally get to play with our fertility monitor now--S. got AF yesterday, just when she thought she'd never get it. So now we're back to temping every morning at 5:20, when I have to get up for my new job anyway, and we get to press the button on the fertility monitor. In six days we get to stick pee sticks in it. Yippee!!

My friend brought up a good point when I was talking to him the other night--are we still using the same donor? Is that donor still available? Of course I always thought there was going to be a neverending supply of donor #1 (who I think we'll go back to), but what if there was a sudden rush on him and the bank is out? Who will we turn to? I guess we should probably check the website to confirm that he's still there--otherwise, we'll be doing some quick decision-making!