Transfer the Second

We had Transfer #2 today--both frozen embryos thawed, both were put back. Yikes. Well, it was "yikes" last time and nothing much came of it, so we'll take our chances on yikes.

The lab tech, as she handed us our "certificate" of embryo thaw, said, "and that's it--you've cleaned out the freezer." No more chances. No more embryos (for now). That's that. It feels so--final. But...I had an acupuncture appointment immediately afterward to clear my body of rejection, hopefully, and make the uterus oh-so warm, fuzzy, and welcoming to the embryo guests who will hopefully be settling down for a long term visit.

And now....we wait. You know how it goes. I'm hoping the recent positives out there in lady-land rub off and mean good things for us over here. Everything's crossed on this one.

An Elegy

"The Lake Isle of Innisfree"
by William Butler Yeats

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

For my Grampy--Lake lover and dweller extraordinaire.
August 24, 1929 - September 19, 2009

Grampy and I at his house on Lake Winnepesaukee

Plea for (estrogen patch) Help

I'm sending some feelers out there in the lovely ttc/ivf world to see if anyone by chance has any estrogen patches with an imminent expiration date hanging around. Getting ready for transfer #2 and need the damn things that the clinic had previously been supplying to me free of charge. Who knew they cost $14 a pop? Without insurance covering anything, they are over $375 for a box of 40. Now, who the heck knows how long I'll need them for, and I sure as hell am not going to plop down that amount of cashish only to be not pregnant and not need them and out of the money to boot.

Soooo....I thought I'd try this. I'm going to buy enough to get me through the tww and a little beyond. But I know that we had a crapload leftover after S.'s IVF, and just let them expire. So, so sad--if we had known how expensive they were, we would have quickly donated them.

Many thanks and probably some homemade gift of thank you if anyone by chance is willing and able to donate some.

Because who couldn't use a laugh?

Growing, changing, cleaning

We are god-awful bloggers. The school year's start always knocks us back on our asses for a bit, but then suddenly around weeks 2-3 or so, we look around and feel like, hey, we're actually in a routine of sorts here, which gets us motivated to start at things yet again. For instance, this weekend, we "real cleaned" our whole house (as opposed to fake cleaning where we just pick up and wash a couple of toilets--we're talking the full royal treatment of dusting, vacuuming, picking up, laundry and even re-caulking the bathtub! Woo hoo!). It felt--oddly good. And hey, what else is there to do, really, on a rainy fall afternoon?

Oh, I love saying that...fall afternoon...the phrase just makes me feel gooey inside.

I am such a New England girl, as is S. I heart fall with all its New England magnificence--the apples, the last-of-the-season crops and canning and freezing the harvest, the leaves, the crisp weather, the sweaters. Oh me oh my. Wrap me up in a warm sweater on a sunny, crisp day, point me to some maple trees blazing orange, and put a cup of warm apple cider in my hand and I'm yours.

Though fall is the season where everything prepares for dying, for hibernating, for hunkering down, we're ready to do TTC #2 imminently. Flo finally showed (wasn't sure she would show up on time after last month), and I was cleared to try another transfer with our last remaining two embryos. To say I feel some pressure is an understatement. But...I am trying to keep my cool. I feel great right now. Of course, it's day 2, so naturally I would. As the transfer date nears, assuming all goes well with body, I'm sure I'll be much less cool.

Other thoughts drifting through my mind include: H1N1 vaccine? Anyone getting it? Anyone getting it for their kiddos? We are fairly certain that Theo will not be getting one, and are not sure of ourselves. Luckily for us, he is the only baby at his babysitter's house, but he does go into S.'s school a fair amount. Hmm..what to do, what to do...

Then there's Theo's inevitable bloom into a baby-toddler. Not quite a toddler yet, though toddling is his preferred method of transportation. His first haircut happened last weekend (his cute curls of summer were starting to turn into a rat tail). He babbles and does his version of talking non-stop, is signing away, and out of the blue learned to shake his head "yes." No idea where that one came from!

I wouldn't dream of leaving you without any pics of our burgeoning baby-toddler, so below, Theo on haircut day (free chop courtesy of Meme, S.'s mom and Theo's beloved grandmother. She cut all her kids hair and continues to give free haircuts to anyone who asks!). It was a traumatizing day for us, we won't lie...

Theo pre-cut. Cute whisps, but they get scraggly.

Figuring out the comb.

Mid-cut. We kept him still with crackers.

The final result! Such a big boy, it broke our hearts for a while.