Monday, April 13, 2009

I am mom - hear me roar!

Easter day - let me set the scene. My parent's house, usual relatives are there - meme, aunts, cousins, cousin's cute, lovable, but crazy children. Before brunch. Theo dressed to the nines.
Everyone enjoying each other's company, as it has been a long time. 

I go talk to my cousin and cousin-in-law who are holding Theo and they keep turning away from me. Finally, I get around and I see what they are hiding from me. They are FEEDING MY SON A FUCKING COOKIE. Yes, an anise cookie with frosting and sprinkles. My son who gets carefully chosen, organic, homemade babyfood. Is eating a cookie. The mom came out in me. It was fucking ferocious. I yell, in front of everyone (me - who usually pushes just about everything under the rug until it boils up inside of me and spills out on C.), "I am beyond pissed - give me him!" and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I was literally shaking with fury as I cleaned him up. 

It pissed me off on so many levels. It's beyond the cookie-eating. For five years, I have watched her be a mother as she gives her kids candy (1 1/2 year old ate jellybeans like there was no tomorrow), cookies, and junk from morning to night. Smokes through pregnancy and around them. Spanks them when she's fed up. And judge, yes I did. But I never said or did anything because what I think doesn't really matter. I respected her as the mother. Not a good one..but the mother. And she couldn't pay that same respect back. She KNEW I wouldn't give him a cookie but thought she knew better??? wtf?

After her apology when I told her that if she was confused about why we eat and feed Theo organically I would explain it to her, she called me weird. Ignorant.

The sprinkles? All down his brand new Easter outfit. I know...lame reason to be mad, but goddamnit I like my kid to look neat. No boogey faces, wild hair and stained dresses here.

And how about possible egg allergies? Refined sugar before one year of age? 

And you know what? It should have been us who gave him his first cookie. It should have been us who enjoyed that big smile, eager eyes and wild tongue that couldn't get enough of the sweetness. 
Here he is Easter morning with the bunny from his basket!

p.s. We found a place in NYC (on the UES, our old neigborhood)! Yippee! Coming Sunday, leaving Thursday if anyone's up for a playdate!


Laura said...

You know, I didn't have a candy bar until I was six or seven years old. And it was a baby sitter who gave it to me. My mom was so furious...and I'm not sure if it was so much about her parenting style being disrespected because, after all, the babysitter was just some dumb teenager. But she WAS upset that she didn't get to give me my first piece of candy! (Oh, and not only was I not allowed to have sugar, but she hadn't given me chocolate yet, because I was allergic to milk until I was about six.) But it's shitty that people who are supposed to be your family are not respecting your beliefs. I just KNOW I'll have those battles some day, too. :)

Whozat said...

Oh. My. God.

We are "beyond pissed" on your behalf.

Here's a clue for everyone:

If you know that you have to hide what you're doing from the child's mother(s), you should not be doing it!Wow.

Raene and River said...

I would feel the same way! We still don't do any refined sugars (including cane sugar) and my daughter's 5 yrs old.

I guess others just don't think about it, or they don't get it, but especially when someone has been raised almost entirely organic even one non-organic processed food can really knock back their immune system.

You actually sounded like you handled it better than I would have. Good for you!

Laurie said...

Oh my god... I just got so mad for you!! How dare they?!?! I am glad that you spoke up right away. She sounds like a real winner. Ugh.

PS- We would love to meet up! Unfortunately, the only day we are available is Sunday after 5...

MaMaMia said...

amen. we have some friends that think they're all funny giving our kids sweets. one actually put whipped cream on their finger to give to our BABY who hadn't had any solids.

anyway, i know how you feel.

twoladiesinwaiting said...

So rude. Ugh.

Whozat said...

I told Shrike about this when I read it, and she was appalled, as well.

Then, we discussed again at dinner last night, and got mad for you, all over again.

Jude said...

Oh man, I would have gone all Mama Bear on them, too! ARGH! You do NOT feed someone else's kid!!! NO!!

As an aside, we have those guitar jammies, too. :)

The Amily Diaries said...

You had every right to be pissed! No matter what others think of your rules, they should respect your wishes. Good for you for standing up for yourself! Maybe they got the picture and nothing like that will happen again.

Anonymous said...

I agree 100% with you. Our son is now 13 months old. He is very particular about who he lets hold him. He is not too fond of my dad (for no apparent reason). The other day my dad got to hold him and I thought this was odd. When I got closer I found out that he was letting him sipp soda from a soda can! I was furious. My dad did not even apologize. He just called me a "sargent mom"!!!!

Rosan and Pam.

Anonymous said...