1. Collide with a student in the hallway and then land on all-fours, hard, only to suffer excruciating back pain for the next two days
2. Somehow pick up a lingering massive head cold and sore throat
3. Drive through Chinatown in New York on a Saturday looking for a parking space
4. Smack the steering wheel and yell "F*CK!" while crying hysterically in said Chinatown traffic drive
5. Inadvertently teach your two-year-old how to say "F*CK", which really sounds like "PUT!" followed by hysterical laughter
6. Continue to say the word mentioned in 4 and 5 without realizing it, again eliciting peals of ecstatic laughter from your two-year-old
7. Try to get a two-year-old boy to say "nice words" instead of "put" or "puttin" - because they'll just end up saying "POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "PEE PEE!!!!!"
And that was my week in a nutshell. Take it as a cautionary tale, all ye pregnant ladies with no center of balance, a penchant for spontaneous emotional breakdowns, and an easily-influenced little bugger listening to your every word.
32 weeks down, 8 to go!