Sunday, October 10, 2010

Cautionary Tale List

Things not to do when you're 32 weeks pregnant: A List

1. Collide with a student in the hallway and then land on all-fours, hard, only to suffer excruciating back pain for the next two days

2. Somehow pick up a lingering massive head cold and sore throat

3. Drive through Chinatown in New York on a Saturday looking for a parking space

4. Smack the steering wheel and yell "F*CK!" while crying hysterically in said Chinatown traffic drive

5. Inadvertently teach your two-year-old how to say "F*CK", which really sounds like "PUT!" followed by hysterical laughter

6. Continue to say the word mentioned in 4 and 5 without realizing it, again eliciting peals of ecstatic laughter from your two-year-old

7. Try to get a two-year-old boy to say "nice words" instead of "put" or "puttin" - because they'll just end up saying "POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "PEE PEE!!!!!"

And that was my week in a nutshell. Take it as a cautionary tale, all ye pregnant ladies with no center of balance, a penchant for spontaneous emotional breakdowns, and an easily-influenced little bugger listening to your every word.

32 weeks down, 8 to go!


Laurie said...

My favorite part of this post is the first line which states "32 months pregnant" lol :)

2 Chicks 1 Hatchling said...

I have to agree with Laurie :) - 32 months!! No wonder you're swearing!
I can relate though...(except for the 2 yr old). Life is sure getting interesting and challenging in the 3rd trimester.

CD and SP said...

hellllooooo preggo brain!!! thanks for the edit - i finally went in and changed it!

Katherine Josh said...

Loquat is for cough and lung in Chinese medicine. Sometimes i would take the Ninjiom Pei Pa Koa which is an extract of loquat when got sore throat.

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