Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sex, no not that kind

A midwife appointment in the middle of our snow day today. It was nice to be home together beforehand and to be a little leisurely I must say.
Heard the racing heartbeat at 150bpm. I have really begun to anticipate that sound and it's so reassuring to hear it. Had our appt. with a different midwife (there's 6 total) and actually had the chance to meet two others. It's important to know them all - you never know who'll be catching the baby!!

The big ultrasound is next week. We actually asked the midwife to weigh-in on the daily ongoing discussion in our household - and now it's your turn. To find out? Or to not find out? She actually suggested waiting, because the moment of the birth is so overwhelming and emotional and not knowing just adds to it. Here are our thoughts on both viewpoints:
  • our nursery decor will not be changed by the sex of our baby - we're just not into 'themes'
  • it might be special for C. to be able to announce the sex at birth
  • the anticipation might help me get through labor a bit
  • we both hate baby pink and baby blue and don't want to be inundated by clothes etc. as gifts
  • we sometimes see things that we want to buy for baby girls and baby boys
  • the NAME GAME, which has begun...girl list is l-o-n-g and the boy list has 1. We could focus our efforts here
  • another option...find out and keep it a secret!
We change our mind everyday. So, stay tuned and weigh-in!

17 comments:

The Nanny said...

Find out and tell us!!! :-)

Also, I'd love to hear what names you're considering!

Amanda said...

I'm all for finding out...it really made us feel even more connected to the baby...especially for Louis - and it felt so nice to call the baby by name.

Your birth will still be SO exciting...nothing can take away that incredible thrill of meeting your child for the first time.

My vote - find out, and keep it a secret!!!!

I have been thinking of you a lot during this wonderful time in your life....

e. said...

you sound just like we did! i could have written that list! we went back in forth so much so that on our calendar i wrote "will we find out day"instead of "ultra sound." A sort of wanted to and I did not.

i must say, i am so happy we didn't find out. my reasoning at the time - i had just started to feel the baby move and was just starting to connect with it as a baby, and was not ready for it to have a sex. i also thought about those final moments in labor and how knowing i was about to find out would help me get through.

we talked about finding out and keeping it a secret or having them write it on a piece of paper so we could look back if we wanted to. but i felt such a relief leaving the U/S not knowing and knowing we could not now from this point forward!

what i was not prepared for was have overwhelming special it was to here A's voice waver as she announced 'boy' and as he was placed on my chest. I cry every time I think about that moment. there are some many moments through out my labor that are very special, but that one, was worth the wait!

Also, everyone at the hospital thought it was so cool that we didn't know and I swear we got special treatment because of it! :-)

vee said...

Oooh - I've toyed (theoretically) with this dilemna too. On the one hand, I think I'd want to know cos I think it would be cool to start knowing the baby in a particular way before they are born. But on the other hand, there are very few surprises like that in life these days, and you'll have the rest of your lives to know them as a boy or a girl anyway, so what's a few weeks wait.

That wasn't much help, was it?

Good luck with deciding.

Sara said...

We are happy that we know; that's for sure. I would find out again in a heartbeat (or an ultrasound as the case may be.) We didn't waver in wanting to know though. We felt we'd been working to get to Baby for so long that we wanted to know.

It sounds from your list that you are leaning toward not finding out and that sounds great for you too!

Melissa said...

I say wait to find out. A friend of ours didn't find out and her husband got to announce the sex of the baby in the delivery room after each of her children were born. They both found that moment priceless.

Sara I said...

The bottom line is that whatever you get, boy or girl, you'll be so happy and won't be able to imagine your life any other way. I enjoyed being surprised in the delivery room, and since I had to have a scheduled C-section it was basically the only surprise of my labor! Glad you heard the heat beat again! Isn't it such a wonderful sound?

Marcy "meg" said...

I wanted to originally wait to find out... but since it took us a long while to get pregnant, we feel like we have waited long enough. We need to know now! So, either way you go is exciting... good luck and I hope we get to know!

Lo said...

We did find out. I'm glad we did, because I needed some time to get used to the sex. Maybe I wouldn't have, if we'd waited; but it felt that way.

Also, someone once pointed out to me that it's a surprise whenever you find out, whether it's at the u/s or the delivery room.

Just my two cents!

Caitlin said...

I vote for wait! Even though you have no idea who I am, I enjoy reading your blog from afar, and I think it will add a lot to the birth experience to wait. And I don't think I could keep it a secret if I knew, so I vote against that option. Either way, good luck for a great ultrasound!

sandra said...

We actually wanted to know the gender and at both u/s that could possibly show us, our daughter hid her bits. After that we were like nevermind, we don't need to know... it made things kind of exciting when we got to the end of the pregnancy.

Christine said...

I'm leaning towards the 'find out' camp. Surprise or not, doesn't change it, doesn't make you love the child more/less. Name picking out is so much easier. And until you know, it will be a surprise. You're just picking the surprise day.
Birth itself is a wonderous surprising trip. Knowing the gender in advance doesn't remove the surprise.

LaurieAnn said...

I don't think that I will want to know once I'm pregnant. I don't see a real point in knowing. I mean, you're still going to have the baby and love the baby... what will really change by knowing if you're carrying a boy or girl? I vote for keeping it a surprise!

oneofhismoms said...

I'm finding out tomorrow. This is why: I want a girl. I have my boy and I want a girl. If he's a boy (which I feel is the case) I will love him to death, but I need to get over the idea that I probably won't ever have a daughter before the little guy comes around. They need to be separate that and the birth. I also have a girl's name and no boy's name picked out, so I have some name work to do if he's a boy. On the other hand, I also have an entire closet full of clothes to weed through in either case, and I don't want to try to do that with a newborn around. I want to talk to Cakie about his little brother or sister before it is born. Oh, and my fetus has no nickame still, so I'm hoping maybe sex organs will inspire us in some way to give it a nickname.

And if it is a girl, I will ask my friends to write the words "avoid pink" on my shower invitations. I hate pink. But that one doesn't matter, because no matter what you do, if you receive clothes from other people, you will end up with a closet full of pink or blue clothes, if they find out at birth or before. People just do that for some reason.

Lastly, I agree with Lo. A surprise is a surprise no matter when it happens. And the moment of my son's birth was unforgettable, even though we knew it was a son before he came out. I will actually be surprised if it is a girl. I won't be surprised if it is a boy. And in that way, it will be good to know that my feeling isn't just a feeling.

Oh, and I'm probably one of the most impatient people in the world. All of my patience is used up on second graders. That's my two...fiddy cents.

Faith said...

my theory is that it's one of the few remaining mysteries in our lives... so let it be one! you know you'll be elated either way. it's like peeking at presents before christmas - no fair!

sn said...

we're in the find out but not tell people camp--we really want to avoid gendered clothes and baby stuff, to the extent that that's possible. we just found out last week. and though knowing the sex (oddly enough) makes the fact that we're having a baby more tangible, i have to say that finding out was sort of a disappointment for us. we're thrilled with the baby we're getting, but closing off the possibility of having a differently sexed baby was also sort of disappointing. i think next time around (if there is one) we might not find out. then again, i am not nearly patient enough for that...good luck with your decision, and i hope all the parts are healthy ones!

mrsbluemont said...

Difficult decision, but a good one to have! We're of the wait to find out crowd and would be totally unable to know and not tell. And like you, it just kind of doesn't matter and wouldn't factor into anything. Glad you met more midwives. They really have to be the best people ever. Hope the u/s goes well. I'm sure it will be thrilling whether you decide to find out the sex or not. oxox