Sunday, February 01, 2009

Goals for 2009

I don't like to make New Year's resolutions. I know it's a month past New Year's already, so this is coming incredibly late, but I thought I would start ruminating about this now. This year, I'd like to read more, move more, perhaps move out of my town, and get pregnant. Yes, it's time to start thinking about #2...

I think we have to start thinking about this now because family planning when there's money involved is, well, just more difficult than your run-of-the-mill hetero family planning. I'm sure their's goes something like this: "So, want to have a baby soon?" "OK, let's have sex and see what happens." "Okay, great!"

I know that is an exaggeration and I am NOT insinuating that it is always that easy for heteros to get pregnant. I know it's not and that it can be just as stressful (and expensive!) But after watching S. go through 13 insemination unsuccessfully, I just don't know what is going to lie ahead for me. I'm the same age now as S. was when she started, just about. However, she was incredibly regular--I'm not. I'm also not entirely convinced that don't I have some sort of cyst-situation going on in there that may need to be looked at and resolved before we can start trying.

And then there's this-----it's important to us that Theo has a biological sibling, so do we go with using our donor and my egg, or one of his frozen brothers or sisters sitting in the hospital where we had our IVF? Right now, the donor is not available, but may be in the future--but they don't know when. This is not good. Will it be in a year? A month? Never?? But Theo's brothers and sisters are available right here, right now, for the one-time cost of a FET. But what if it doesn't work and then there's no donor sperm left? What if what if what if what if????????

Clearly we have a lot to work out. What I do know is that it is day 17 of my cycle and I haven't freaking ovulated yet, according to the monitor. WTF?! This is not a promsing start, but I'm going to be positive until we meet with our RE in March. I can, will, and do ovulate. I can be and am regular. I can get pregnant this year.

Most likely you will not hear me talk about this again until our meeting with the RE. I just wanted to put it out there and get it off my chest. So there you go.



6 comments:

Lo said...

I'm thinking about this too...I'll be watching your progress. :-)

Whozat said...

Best of luck with TTC#2!!!

I'm sure that's a tough decision about which route to take, but I can imagine it would be reassuring to know that if things don't go smoothly with your eggs, you've got the full-siblings on ice!

vee said...

Oh, we've started talking about #2 already and #1 isn't even here yet! You're so right about the planning and saving.

Lizzie said...

won't say it isn't hard to read about #2s when I haven't gotten #1 yet, but was glad to check back in with you guys and hear about your process ... and will be sending lots of ovulation juju your way! it must be hard to go second in a partnership, to not have the 'ignorance is bliss' first few insems where you think it might be easy, too be too aware of how hard it can actually be. lots of love as you figure out the answers to all your questions.

S. said...

please keep in mine it took 14 tries to get Theo. i've been there. we've earned an easy #2 damnit.

Sunny said...

Just found your blog! I look forward to reading it!