MEME!! At long last..not like you've been waiting...

Time to buckle down and do my me-me, I suppose. So, here it goes!

1. I grew up without cable television and video games (my dad swore up and down they would wreck the television set). And, though my parents have a 50" flatscreen HD TV, they still do not have cable!

2. I have curly hair that I am quite vain about. It looks like crap most of the summer, but I love it anyway. It's about the only physical feature of mine that I really like.

3. I am the oldest child. I have one younger sister who is significantly younger than I am--she's 21 and I'm (almost) 28.

4. I was born on Labor Day. Get it--my mom was in labor on Labor Day? I always found that amusing. And, on those years where my birthday actually falls on Labor Day, like it does this year, I make the joke repeatedly.

5. I spent one glorious year living in London in college. I attended University with other British 3rd years who usually didn't want to talk to me. Consequently, most of the friends I made there were either American or from some other European country. I still love the Brits, though, and long to go back for a visit.

6. I went to Catholic high school. Plaid uniform, religion classes, the whole thing. I am no longer a practitioner of any organized religion, though I do not begrudge those who are unless they are clearly bigoted, foul, and hateful.

7. S. was the first woman I ever dated or kissed or..anything, even though I attended an all women's college. Guess she always will be!

8. I've visited both non-contiguous U.S. states on vacation, and driven through every single state on the Eastern seaboard at least three times, since my dad doesn't like flying. (My first time on an airplane was when I was 16)

Okay, I think I've done my duty now. If you want to play along, go to it, but I think there are precious few who haven't been tagged these days!

Just Beyond the Horizon...

We just got home from our 2nd mini-vacation in a week. Last week it was my family up north--this week, S.'s family down south. Okay, not really "south," per se, but south from here. We went down to Rhode Island, where S.'s aunt and grandmother rent a house for two weeks on the beach. We only got two beach days out of it, but that was enough to get a sunburn. Ouch! I was so careless with my sunblock application yesterday that I completely forgot my back, a little spot near my armpit, and the back of my thighs. It hurts to sit. Owww! S. also burned one of her knees...

And we are not having a baby this month, either. We tested Thursday to a bfn. We'll do it again tomorrow, juuuuust in case...but yeah. So looks like we're on to cycle #13. But, now covered with insurance, which is good, since our doctor decided to up the G*nal F injections this time around. Hopefully this will be good. And hopefully we won't go past this, for past this next cycle is the mysterious place where IVF may be lurking ahead for us. I'm disappointed in not being pregnant this month. But---like last cycle, feel that there is at least some sort of possibility ahead to look forward to, even if it seems strange and a bit scary.

Meme Delinquent

We've been in Maine/New Hampshire/North Shore MA for the past few days, so apologies for lack of updates. We're now 1 week and 3 days past insem. S.'s boobs have been killing her, and she swears they're so big that she's in pain carrying them around, but that's just the progesterone talking (we know that now). Trying to think positive thoughts and hope that a little babe is burrowing in for the long-haul.

Here's a recap of our trip Northwards this year:

--Portland, ME is a really cool city. We were treated to a spontaneous dance recital/fashion show outside the restaurant we ate dinner at. Very random. We then watched a woman who had flames coming off her hula-hoop do some fun stuff. We now believe Portland is truly the sister city of Portland, OR.

--Being with family can be exhausting but satisfying. We saw a lot of them.

--Laying by the pool when it's ridiculously hot and humid is good. Laying in the pool is even better.

--Fried dough, though it makes us sick at the end of the evening, is soooo very tasty.

a meme, my first...

We've been tagged before, I think by A. and E. (sorry girls). But this time we've been caught - by the gals at It's Taking a Village so it's time to face the music. And because we've been tagged before, we consent to do it twice - one for me and another for C.

Here are the rules: Let others know who tagged you. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged. I don't think we'll do any actual tagging - baby steps people.

1. I grew up on Martha's Vineyard Island. People always seem surprised that A. my family is not wealthy and B. People live there year round. Yeah, who watches your children, remodels your homes, makes and serves your food? My family and friends. It was an amazing place to grow up - so safe and easy. I never had any intention of moving back there as an adult though. There is not much in the way of culture or diversity (although that might be changing). It was a "small town" - everyone knew everyone and that gets exhausting. I do go back to visit a couple times a year. I really long for the beach/ocean every so often.

2. I love the smell of rubber/plastic. Band-aids, shower curtains, air mattresses. Wicked weird.

3. I have a deep dark fear. Please don't laugh. I'm afraid I'm going to like my adorable, lovable, snuggly, darling dog Ringo more than I will like my baby. Silly, I know. But my fear before this? That I wouldn't be able to have babies and...ahem...

4. C. and I both went to the same women's college. We were there at the same time (she was a firstie when I was a senior) and we didn't know each other!! We met after C. graduated and moved to Brooklyn with one of my closest friends from said women's college. Thanks l.!

5. I LOVE GAMES. Everyone says I "cheat", I "love to win", I'm a "sore sport" - but none of that is true. I just love to play games: scr*bble, domin*es, trivia, sc*ttergories, cr*nium, cards, load*d questions, b*ggle. You name it, I love to play it. C. does not love games, which makes me sad and is one of the very very few things I would change about her - that and her self-control when it comes to itching.

6. I balance my checkbook to the penny each month. Yes, I'm obsessive when it comes to organization and money - so this is where it shows. Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes and other times it takes me 3 hours to find 14 cents....but I always find it. I've found this task a bit harder now that we own a house and our finances are totally joined. It's my job and I don't really mind it.

7. I come from a long line if "scavengers". My family (mother, father, uncles, aunts...) loves flea markets, junk shops, and free stuff. We're always on the look-out for good stuff. You would think our houses are full of crap, but we're picky too, so we don't just take anything. C., my dad, my mom and I once carried a VERY heavy wrought iron, metal table up to our 5th floor walk-up. My dad had to stop at the 4th floor because I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack. The table is still gorgeous and now enjoys a prime spot in our dining room. The things New Yorkers throw out! We would take romantic walks in the moonlight on trash night. And it's pretty common for my dad to call me and say "hey, take a drive over to such-and-such street and check out a blankety-blank on the side of the road". AND I GO! hee hee. My uncle gave us a lawnmower he found on the street and we have used it regularly for more than a year. Sickos - we can't help ourselves!

8. I've been teaching small children for almost 20 years - and I'm only 31! It's the only job I've ever had. I started when I was 12 at a daycare that a family friend owned. So maybe I wasn't exactly "staff" but I had a summer job. I took one summer off to clean houses and it was TERRIBLE. Other than that, I have had no other jobs - not waitressing or retail. When I got to college I vaguely considered being a bio major, but it lasted one semester and then I took education classes. It was meant to be. I love my job. I'm very lucky.

And that's it folks! Now you know more than you ever wanted to know about me. I think I did okay considering I was a meme virgin. The only person I tag is C. Go to it, baby!

#12, Down the Hatch!

The spermies are safely inside and hopefully running full-speed at S.'s egg right about now. #12 is behind us and in front of us all at the same time. To celebrate this momentus occasion we...cleaned S.'s mom's house.

We started a tiny little side "business" of cleaning houses over the summer, since neither of us could score summer school jobs, and we're broke teachers. This is perfect for us because we're relatively clean people, and I make a lot of cleaning stuff and/or use "earth friendly" products, which I think people are starting to appreciate these days. Besides S.'s mom's house, we're doing a family friend's home tomorrow. Even if it's just a little bit extra, it's nice to tuck away for some future summer fun. It at least takes our mind off the tww, if just for a little bit of time.

The other thing we're busy doing to bide our time is re-read every single Harry Potter book. S. is already halfway through #4, me through #3, and we just started Monday! We are crazed. We wanted to fully enjoy and appreciate #7. I'm sure others may think we are nuts, but those in the know, of course, know!

The Power of Visualization

I am feeling like we've had this blog for a long time. For giggles, I went back to our very first post in May of 2006:

"I don't know if or how our experiences trying to get pregnant will differ from the other women we've read about, but it certainly does help sort out your feelings on the whole matter, plus it's way cooler than making a lame-o scrapbook."

Ahhh, yes, better, than a scrapbook. But could I have imagined that we'd be on try #12 and still writing? I don't think so. But then again, what could I have imagined it would have been like a year and 2 months later? I think for all those women whose blogs we've been reading for a long time, and who are fortunate enough to either be pregnant or already have a baby, the future is easy to visualize--you have something certain in front of you. For those of us still on the bus, the future is less certain, even as we gain options with every cycle. It's just those cycles after cycles after cycles that just seem like a never-ending road in front of us.

But try #12 does give us something to look forward to--a stop off the bus, if you will. If it doesn't work this cycle, then insurance must cover our future reproductive plans--including IVF. That's right--S. worked her magic on one of our beloved nurses, who petitioned the insurance bitch about our challenge to the "exposure to sperm" clause in our insurance regulations, she made a call to our insurance and VOILE! Coverage. This leaves us unbelievably hopeful and happy. We know that doesn't translate into "easy"--but it gives us something to visualize for the future.

on the slow train

Still only 14 1/2 mm. And I think we're down to two. Continuing the medicine (which they continue to give me) and go in again on Tuesday for yet ANOTHER ultrasound and MORE bloodwork. At this rate, I don't anticipate doing the HCG shot even then. This is so not typical of this medicine. I am so aggravated. I never never would have guessed my body could be so ornery.

growing this, growing that

So I'm not so good at growing follicles. I am CD11, have been on 150IU of Gonal-F for the last 3 days and 112IU the 3 days before that. I have 3 follicles all on the smallish side, the biggest being 13mm. It's fine. I'm not saying it couldn't/won't work, but it's not the kind of results I thought I was buying. 3 more days of 150IU and we go back in on Sunday for another ultrasound and bloodwork. I think they'll give me the trigger shot and we'll have a Tuesday insem. But, we'll see how my stubborn reproductive organs play along.

What I am good at growing is vegetables. Look at todays bounty!! My father, my uncle, my brother and I were having a "contest" for the first ripe tomato. DING DING DING, we have a winner! Of course there is no prize for this contest, just bragging rights. Fine by me! I'm doing the "I got the first red tomato" dance!! As a side note, and to add insult to injury with my father, there is something being said about organic gardening. I can't wait to eat it!

Digging Life

Yesterday was CD6 for us, since S.'s flow didn't really start flowing until the day after our CD1 ultrasound. She has one o.k. sized follicle along with 3 sorta-medium sized ones on one ovary, and a few really, really tiny ones on the other. They upped her G*nal shots to 150. We thought we might run out if we continue at that rate, so they gave us (gave us!) an entire pen to use just in case we ran out. Sometimes, we love our doctors and nurses! They really are so, so nice there. So it looks like we're set to go in on Friday.

In other non-babymaking related news, my poison ivy continues to drive me insane and we're in the midst of digging a patio in our backyard. Digging, for those of you unacquainted with it, is not fun, especially in the heat. I'm sure at the end of the summer, when we're lounging around on our fabulous new brick patio, we'll say, "Oh yeah, it was nothing--totally worth it!" But for now, we're scratching our heads wondering why we ever thought this was a good idea!

You're gonna need an ocean...

...but not of Calomine lotion--apparently it's out of style to use as a treatment for poison ivy these days. That's right--I have poison ivy. Pretty badly, too. Let's just say it's creeping upwards into regions you just do not want to have poison ivy in. Ugh.

I like to think most people get poison ivy accidentally--they're traipsing through the woods on a jolly walk-about, or they're hiking and just brush past it by accident. But me--no, not me! I willingly and voluntarily plucked poison ivy vines out of a bushy patch at the edge of our yard to make way for a rhubarb patch. Not that I did it with my bare hands. I had protection, of course! Rubber gloves up to my elbows, plastic bags tied around both hands and feet, and bucket of bleach in which to plunge the vile plant. I was foolhardy, though--I thought this would be protection enough. Turns out those plant oils can jump! Oh, lord, can they jump, and I did not shower immediately afterward, which is the cardinal rule of knowingly dealing with poison ivy exposure. I've been miserable and paying for it ever since.

To top it all off, I have a wedding to go to this Saturday (our 3rd of the summer). I'm trying to get it it quickly off of my arms, and luckily the biggest, weepiest patches are on my upper thighs. Since I'm not wearing my mini-dress to the wedding, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Anyone have any fool-proof cures for the poison ivy itching and rashes?

Just got home from NYC. We were there for a friend's 30th. I think this is the first time we've gone to visit since moving where we haven't even set foot in Manhattan. Well, okay, we did at the end--to get bagels at our former favorite neighborhood bagelry in our old hood--but for recreation purposes, we stayed squarely in Queens with a trip out to Long Island to Ik.ea. We purchased a kick-butt as-is outdoor chair for our patio. Not that our patio is built yet, but we're getting started this weekend.
Oh, and we came home to discover a flat tire on the Jeep. Great! What a lovely surprise. No idea how it happened. I haven't even driven is since June 20th! Ah well. That thing is on its last legs anyway.

S.'s flow was playing chicken with us for a while. At our day 3 ultrasound, our tech said S.'s lining was still really thick for being on day 3. Turns out her flow was feeling a little shy, so we weren't sure for a little while there if we were going to even be able to start with our meds this cycle--which wouldn't mean no cycle for us, but pretty much did because it would mean S.'s hormone levels were all out of whack. Luckily, the flow started flowing and we commenced as usual, and the blood test showed S.'s hormones on track for the beginning of her period. Phew! It's weird how foreign it all felt after over a month of not being there--the waiting room, the ultrasounds, interacting with techs and nurses and front desk people...but sort of a comfortable thing to fall back on, too. We have yet to broach the insurance issue with our doctor--we rarely see her on our trips into the clinic--so we'll have to call her. I really have no idea how available she is via phone, but I know to make an appointment in person with her, there's like, a two month wait or something crazy like that. Ugh! Imagine being that busy? I can't. I can't even find a summer job!

Back in the saddle...

I am ready to get going again. Fertility issues were by no means on our minds during our Alaska trip--at least not on mine. For a while, we got to forget about going to the doctor every other day, sticking needles into our stomachs, waiting for periods..all that really fun stuff. S.'s period came yesterday, which means we're back on track for insem. this month. This month is significant to us, because it represents the 12th time we will have done an insemination. Number 12 is like this magical, mystical number, because after try #12, insurance is supposed to cover everything. Everything. Sperm. IVF. Whatever. Everything.

Great! Is there a problem here then, you may be asking? Well, our doctor is saying we've only tried 9 times--she does not count the 3 at-home insems we did. I decided to call our insurance company on the down-low last month in anticipation of this moment and ask what they counted as "exposure to sperm," as the insurance company insists we must have for 12 months, and they said whatever the doctor says, counts. So now the task seems to be, if this cycle does not work, convincing our doctor that our at-homes counted and insurance said it counted so why not make everyone happy and count it??!! Why in the world would we spend $1500 on sperm for 3 months, only to waste it? I'm pretty sure I "exposed" S. to it. Not that the exposure amounted to anything, but still.

I know I've ranted about this before, but it's just so annoying to have to prove that S. has been trying to conceive outside a doctor's office. Why the hell else would lesbians buy sperm?!?! Some crazy science experiment??

Oh well. Hopefully none of this will matter and this month will be it. Knowing our dumb luck, it will. The one cycle before everything is to be covered, and our full coverage kicks in, we get pregnant. I can only keep hoping!!

Speaking of saddles...S. looks good on a horse, don't you think? This was the one Alaska outing I was not sure of, but we had a great time!

We are so wonked out and exhuasted from the flight back. We've been up for about 30 hours. I'm trying to hold out and go to bed at a reasonable time. But, I can't wait to catch up on all the blogging..tomorrow probably. Thought I'd check in and leave you with a few shots of our unbelievable trip.

The awe-inspiring Mt. McKinley. 20,000 feet of ice! A moose in our neighborhood in Anchorage. I was a moose virgin... And both of us in front of Holgate glacier, a tidewater glacier off the coast.

ALASKA or bust!

Thank you...

...Massachusetts, for letting me stay married. We didn't celebrate, but I certainly gave S. a nice peck on the cheek and told her sorry, she's stuck with me until further notice. I suppose it's a nice predicament to be in, and I know all my fellow Mass bloggers feel the same, so congrats to all of you, too =)

In other news...prepare for a blogging hiatus as we get set to travel to Alaska. We are being forced to take this cycle off, but I think we will be enjoying ourselves too much to mind (hopefully). I know we've been blogger slackers lately, but the ending of school is usually the most hectic time of year---giving and correcting exams, cleaning out classrooms, doing grades, professional development...it can be quite overwhelming, even though it's supposed to be relieving. Please know that we've been faithfully following along with all of your journeys, too, in the process of slacking off about writing of ours.

I went to graduation today--I didn't know the seniors too well, but I did teach seniors this year. It was...nice. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did, but it really did make me proud to see the look of joy on each of those kids' faces as they heard their name called to get their diploma. Ten years ago, I did the same, and I can hardly remember it! How fast the time goes by. It can make you nauseated if you think about it too hard. Anyway, it made me think of my high school days and compare them to where I am now. Had you told me that, in ten years, I'd be married, a lesbian, living in Western Mass, a teacher, and trying to have a baby, I would have laughed in your face! What funny turns your life can take!

i can't even imagine it

It's a no...again.

And we miss next cycle because of our travel plans. At least I can have a few (or more) when we're in Alaska.

-s

Blog Bash

I have to admit, I was kinda nervous for our 'blind-date' with Western MA bloggers. I am not entirely comfortable in potentially awkward social situations - especially without a glass of wine. I was so happily relieved. Over a delicious lunch at the Noho Brewery and ice cream at H*rrells we easily chatted about incredibly good toddler behavior, travel plans, the melding of last names, jobs, seafood, religion, life in the "happy valley", pregnancy, dogs and cats, NYC, and, most importantly, a love of games. I LOVE playing games. So, the date went well. I think we may have found some real live friends!

In other news, our little doggy love, Ringo, has a tear in a valve in his heart. This is serious, but better than the news I've been expecting all week. I have to tell you, I went to school this week so I would have to stop crying. I was so incredibly stressed and worried because all the signs pointed to heart disease, which could mean weeks or months. Instead we have a dog that we have to treat like a "heart patient" - low-sodium diet, no prolonged vigorous exercise or excitement, daily medication, yearly EKG's and ultrasounds, daily tooth brushing and yearly teeth cleaning. It's all worth it - I love my dog. If my doggy-mommying is any indication of what I'll be like with a baby - WATCH OUT!

BTW, we test on Wednesday. Probably not before. I feel normal normal normal. ugh.

-s

Slow week, summer work

This feels like the slowest tww we've ever had. I don't know if that's good or bad. I can't describe it-it just feels like the world is slowing down, and at the same time flying by us. This weekend was a bit of a whirlwind, so maybe that's why time seems so screwy--a long weekend, coupled with 50 million things to do (including vegetable garden planting and a flat tire on the Mass Pike). Usually, staying busy makes the tww fly by, but it's only been one week. One slooow week. Hopefully the next week will speed up a bit. Once next week is gone, school is basically over and our trip to Alaska is one week sooner. Yippee!

In frustrating, sad, and expensive news, I took our dog Ringo into the vet this afternoon because he has a loose tooth, and she discovered a heart murmur. An EKG for a dog? A cool $230. And then, being knocked out for a dental cleaning and tooth extraction? Probably another $250 more. Add to that two new tires from our flat on Saturday and another potential month of injectibles and that equals two broke teachers. Guess who's working this summer?!

Blue Light Special, Aisle 9

There has apparently been a run on SuperSperm since we've ordered him. We checked out his profile again last night, only to find that he now has "limited availability." What?! He was fresh and copious a mere 2 weeks ago! I knew he was too good to be true (isn't that always the way with the good ones?)!

So--what does this mean? For us, nothing yet. We don't know if S.S. and S.'s eggs met and lived happily ever after in her uterus, and won't know for 2 weeks. And then what...will we keep trying with him? What if we want to keep going ad nauseum with him, carrying him with us into potential IVF cycles and then he's not available anymore? We've never faced this particular dilemma before, though I know of it happening to others around the blogosphere here. It's really...aggravating! Someone else--taking my baby daddy? The nerve! Before now, I'd never considered our anonymous sperm donor "public property" but that's totally what he is. Guess I should get used to sharing.

S.S. to the Rescue!

For the first time in a looong time, S. had a relatively painless insemination. Fairly easy going in (though the curve of her cervix always trips up that catheter!), and...NO CRAMPING afterwards. We were shocked. We each took the whole day off of school to allow S. to recover and me to attend to her, but she ended up being just a little bit sleepy and pretty much fine. We're attributing this to our new sperm sample, who we like to call "Super Sperm" (or S.S.). He can do everything--including be nice to S.'s uterus. So we are starting off on a great foot, I think.

Though S. thinks it's all b*llsh*t, the nurse told us today it's not the quantity of follicles, but the quality the injectible meds can produce--which you fine folks out there have sort of been telling us all along. I bought it--I just hope S.'s uterus bought it, too.