It's been a dark and stormy week here at chez Theo. In reality and metaphorically.

We have had crazy wind/rain/thunder/lightning storms over the last few days. Blowing trees down, knocking down power lines and leaving us in the dark. Fun times with a newborn.

This is hard. Really hard. I know it gets better. I do - really. You don't have to tell me.

Short version - it took a really long time for my milk to come. (Sunday - I gave birth on Tuesday). Theo was losing too much weight so we had to supplement with formula - which was hard. We had a hell of a time finding a lactation consultant on the weekend in the middle of summer, so we were left to our own inadequacies and anxieties about losing the chance to breastfeed vs. starving the baby. We have now gotten some great advice from some great sources and things are on the upswing. He also had his frenulum clipped because I noticed he was tongue-tied. That may or may not have made a bf difference. The metaphorical clouds are lifting - slowly, but lifting. My milk is here, just low, so we're on a two hour pumping regimen, which is why, yes, I am writing this at 1 am.

Birth story soon. I promise it's worth waiting for.

Theo

I should really be sleeping right now, but I couldn't resist...S. will post her story soon!

Guest Blogger (guess why)

   Theodore "Theo" Lee was born  this morning at 5:26 AM.  He's 8 lb, 10 oz, 20 3/4 inches long and has a beautiful pout.  S. was a total rock star.  A cervix ripener was inserted, but she didn't need to be induced after all because less than 12 hours later, it was all over.  Fast and fierce.  Everyone is happy and well, trying to rest after the surprise all-nighter.  Woo-hoo!

xox, Stacey

Debriefing...

To be brief..

The fluid levels are low, so they are having us stay in the hospital to induce (blech) us. Will be there for a couple of days then hopefully be back with the baby!!!!

Thank heavens for friends with pools!

Our oh-so kind friends, one of whom is in my department in school and also pregnant (2 pregnant lesbian English teachers at the same time--our school doesn't know what to make of us!), invited us over their house to go swimming. Being nearly 6 weeks away from giving birth herself, our friend knows what a blessing the water is to the baby belly, so we spent the hot afternoon swimming in the pool. It felt sooooo good! And I'm sure even better for S., who feels weightless in the water. Other than that, we've been dealing with the heat better than usual. At least better than usual for me. I'm usually very cranky when it gets hot. Not only do I sweat, but my hair gets frizzy. NOT COOL! But our house has managed to stay tolerable, and we have a small pond here in town that is available when we get desperate. And then there's of course our kind friends who take pity on us, a week overdue without a pool in our own backyard.

So, that's all. No signs of anything else happening here. Just trying to stay cool.

I have, in the meantime, become obsessed with making things--food, I mean. I made my second loaf of bread and I think I'm addicted to baking it. Now, having picked three baseball bat-sized zucchini out of S.'s parents' garden tonight, I'm trying to figure out how to best preserve them for future use. It's a new kind of sickness!

What happened to my ticker baby, dammit!

Update - but not the kind you, I mean we, are hoping for...
Went to the midwife yesterday and my cervix is still high and closed, so much that she was unable to sweep the membranes. So, no natural induction for now. We have an ultrasound and appt. on Monday for a second try and to check fluid levels.

Believe it or not, we are not yet at the stage where we are considering induction. I have no interest in Pit*cin, so I'll put it off as long as possible. Pit can really lead a pregnancy to an ugly place. In fact, I don't even want to use castor oil - but will if it comes down to that. So for now, lots of walking, squats and nipple stim.

Stay tuned...

Don't get the wrong idea. We're still waiting...

Kitchen Experiments

Nope, nope, nope. Just didn't want you all to think our lack of posts since Saturday meant something exciting had happened. We are just not that lucky yet! So, in the meantime, we have been preparing meals to freeze for when we come home from the hospital and are too dog-tired to think about preparing food. Our doula is an excellent cook, and since she has to hang out here until the baby is born, she's put herself to excellent use preparing wondrous things, which include two quiches (spinach and chedder and mushroom, leek, and swiss), latkes, turkey meat loaf (we ripped that idea from oneofhismoms--thanks!), and a lasagna. Just lovely and tasty.

I have also been occupying myself by doing some experiments in the kitchen. Some have been successful, others not so much. Inspired by Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, I've been making some cheese. I made mozzarella and ricotta, and the ricotta is in the lasagna, cooling as I type. I put the mozzarella onto a pizza this weekend and it was quite tasty. Then I tried making bread. Well, I suck at that. I think I killed the yeast by accident so there wasn't much rising going on, so while the flavor of the bread was good, it was like eating a brick of bread. Oops. I just want something kind of light and artisinal-looking-anyone have any good breadmaking recipes or tips?

More of the same

Nope, not yet. We went to a baby shower we thought we wouldn't ever be able to attend. We were so sure we wouldn't be there that we hadn't even RSVP'd! So we're just..

waiting..

and waiting..

and..you know. More waiting.

And why is the ticker starting to count backwards now? Ugh!

Check out that ticker. Wild.

So, what did you do on your due date?

I weeded the gardens, weed-whacked the yard, stained the decks (with C.'s help of course), replanted some plants....

What I did not do was go into labor. I guess the day's not over yet. Nothing happening here - but go cheer on my due date buddy. Lucky.

Still a'nuthin doing

No baby yet!

We had what we wanted to be our last midwife appointment today (alas, we made one for next Friday as well). They had offered to strip S.'s membranes at 40 weeks (we're just 2 days shy of 40) but we decided we'll only do that if we have to come back next week. It seemed like meddling to us, especially when she's not even overdue yet. But she has been sticking to a regime of evening primrose oil for some good prostaglandins (hopefully!). Who knows---we have people predicting we won't have the baby until the 18th on the full moon. But we don't want to wait a whole week! I know we have nothing to complain about yet. Two days left until the due date, and really, we know in our heads that first babies are anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks late. It's just in our hearts we wanted to meet him/her this weekend. But that could still happen! So we're just waiting in this yucky heat in the meantime, thinking of ways to pass the time, amuse ourselves, and stay cool. We're going to try eating some spicy Indian food tonight or tomorrow to see if we can't get this party started!

Happy Anniversary!

It is our anniversary today, S. and I. Not of when we met or hooked up or started dating officially or even when we started blogging, but of our actual LEGAL marriage here in Massachusetts. I am still overwhelmed at the privilege this state of ours allows us, being just one of two in this whole big screwed-up country. It's nice to have company now though, I have to say (thanks, California!). It was a beautiful day weather-wise--not too hot, but sunny and bright and beautiful. Not like today, which is cloudy and overcast. Today we cleaned the stove, picked up our kitchen from our pie- and strawberry jam-making extravaganza (pics to come--they are very red!). Three years ago we smiled in white dresses and held flowers and felt content and happy with our small, close crowd of our family and best friends who came to watch us do something rather unique. Now we are waiting on pins and needles for something even more amazing to happen. We hope it will happen quite soon, but it would be nice to not have to share our anniversary with our baby's birthday!

So much love and happiness to share I can't quite say it, except that no one else I know would come pick 20 pounds of strawberries with me and help cook it into jam. Happy 3rd anniversary, lovie!

TWO well-earned victories. We've been sending positive thoughts for soo long. And finally.... CONGRATS LADIES! I love when the lesbian fertility universe gets it right. We are so happy for you all.

check!

carseat installed
prize organic mattress in crib
doula in new england
nursery finished
birth books read(Birth Partner, Sear's Birth Book, The Thinking Woman's Guide...anything I'm missing?)
"house" to do list complete(still a few outside/garden things...)
co-sleeper set up
cloth diapers washed and ready (and a pack of 7th generations to start)
going home outfit bought (so cute - I love babies in white)
bag packed - tonight! tonight!
evening primrose oil bought (not using just yet - the 80 year old man in me is dying to hear Prairie Home Companion on Saturday night at Tanglewood)
birth plan written
vinyl shower curtain on bed (just in case)
JOB KEPT! So, my district is in terrible financial trouble and anyone under 3 years in the district got pink slipped last week. Mind you, I have taught for 10 years. Just not here. Everyone kept saying it was a formality - but as the council meeting dragged out over the last few days, it really looked dismal. Tonight, with a $200,000 cut and not a $400,000 cut the superintendent says we will be called back. Thank goodness. Besides, you know, the money, I really love my job and my school in particular. It's a big relief. I know most people recognize this, but public school teachers are shat-upon. It's sick that in the two years I've worked here, my job has been threatened twice and probably will be again next year. All for a measly salary. But we do it for the children. :) gag.

Animals in Baby Places

We love our pets, that is for certain. We will do anything for them. (We hope this translates into us being good parents as well!) I just had to share a couple pics of our crazy animals taking up residence in what is supposed to be places for baby to be--changing table and co-sleeper. O.K., one confession first--S. threw Ringo into the co-sleeper and he hasn't voluntarily gone in since.

Luna the cat, however, goes everywhere she and her black-furred self should not--baby's white changing pad, white chair, you get the idea..guess it's the stupid humans' faults for deciding white would be a lovely nursery color. Duh!

Would you look at that--three more weeks to go. S. is officially and totally, no-turning-back-now full term pregnant. Oh my goodness. And, it is officially S.'s last day of school as well. Hip hip HOORAY! I still have until Monday, but the kids are gone so I am feeling gooood...

This week we did many important "hey, the baby could come at any second now" things around the house and outside, including setting up the co-sleeper and having our car seat bases installed. One of the parents in S.'s school is a police officer and safety technician, so he offered to do it for us. It's kind of freaky riding around with that thing in the back seat, and to think soon there will be a squirmy-wormy thing sitting in it soon. It's all a little much and I think it's finally dawned on us--we are HAVING A BABY!

Babyville, Musicville, and Schoolville

No--we do NOT have a baby yet!! I think about 3 teachers I work with asked me that today. I felt like being flippant and saying "Do you really think I'd be here if I had a baby right now?" but I politely just said, "No, not yet--three more week!" I can hardly believe it when I say it out loud. Three.More.Weeks. Or at least close to it. At the end of this week, we will be officially at full-term. As in--if baby is ready, we have to be, too.

So that leads me to my iPod. I got a new one since my old one bit it (I dropped it off of the treadmill one too many times, as it turns out. Oops. I'll be more careful with this one.) S. and I love music, and she's decided it would be swell to birth with music playing. So she put me in charge of the birthing mix. No pressure or anything! But I am having fun with it. I have my parameters--very mellow music, and enough songs that it could cycle through a few times and we wouldn't notice or mind too much. I doubt she'll really remember what song is playing when the pumpkin finally enters this world, but did any of you have any memorable songs playing during birth??

And then--school. It is almost over. I mean, really almost over. S. has until Friday, me until next Monday. I am in the throes of final exams and couldn't be happier about it, since each exam bring me closer to the end of this very busy and challenging year. We are both looking forward to getting those last-minute preparations done, then kicking back and waiting for the utter chaos to begin.

Where do I put it all?

My mom threw us a family shower last weekend. As nervous and distressed as I was over the whole thing, I have to admit, it went quite well and wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it might be. It helped to have my cousin's 2-year old there for comic relief and to take the spotlight away from me. She kept asking if my baby was coming today and I replied that "No, it's still busy growing in my belly. It's not ready to come out yet." Response? "How'd you eat that?" :) She's a firecracker that one.
I was surprised how well people were able to get the "gist" of "us" by looking at our registry. We're picky, we know that...and don't really make excuses for it. We like what we like. People were thoughtful and generous with gifts. My cousin gave us a whole cloth diapering kit, even though she would never consider using them herself. Another cousin's wife gave us a basket with a food mill and organic kids cookbook, glass dish and spoons etc. It really made me feel respected and loved. On the flip side (very few of these,) if you're not going to put thought into a gift...why would you shop and not use the registry? No - diaper genies are not good for cloth diapers. I pledge to always follow the registry...people register because it's what they want - I get it now!

On another note...I crossed the line from shiny happy pregnant to tired achy angry pregnant. The baby is sitting on my sciatic nerve, making it difficult to walk, nevermind keep up with first graders - I can do anything for 8 1/2 more days!!!!

Happenings

So, what's the happenings, you might be asking. Well, for starters, there are three weeks left of school and six weeks left to this pregnancy. Oh my.

Next, we bought some powdered Ch@rlie's Soap for our diapers. I'm experimenting with it using our own clothes because I have a phobia of powdered detergent stemming from my days I lived in England and they mostly used powder. Since I was a dumb American and accustomed to liquid, I always put too much powder into the drum and the soap residue was always all over my clothes. But..I think I get it now. I was using waaaay too much!

We had our breastfeeding class. It was good. Mostly things we knew, some we didn't. The teacher was a bit scatterbrained as well as a little bit sexist since she claimed men burp babies differently from women. Apparently, men burp babies by holding them like a puppy, face down, while women tend to put the baby over their shoulder to tap the back gently. I guess I fell into this stereotype since I automatically threw the semi-life-like breastfeeding babydoll right over my shoulder as the men put the babies in their laps or, yes, even held them like dogs.

It led me to wonder if the presence of a lesbian couple is ticking off the other couples in the class. Our instructor only says "partner", not husband. Even the couples will correct themselves and adjust their language to "partner." I guess I don't feel bad about it or anything, since we are taking the class in one of the gay-friendliest little cities in this whole big country, not to mention in a state where I am legally married to my wife. If you're uncomfortable with "partner," move out. I don't sense any discomfort from any of the other couples in the class so maybe I'm just being paranoid. I am, after all, the only female partner in the room!

Breathe in....

...And breathe out. Our birthing class focused a lot of relaxation tonight, helping baby mama through contractions with massage, breathing, etc. Then we learned about drugs. Quite possibly, if this is even possible, the epidural sounds more frightening than natural childbirth. I think S. felt the same way.

This post is really a reminder to myself to just OMMMMMMMM......really, try it. It feels great! Or just scream, or sigh, or moan. Any noise to relieve stress. The vibrations in your chest do relieve tension--it's not just a hippy-dippy yoga thing! Ommm on this weekend, everyone!