I'm here but busy.busy.busy as a bee, which, incidentally, stung Theo for the first time last week. Now, whenever he sees a picture of a bee he goes, "Bee! Boo boo!" and points to his arm with great distress in his overly-expressive face. He is a laugh-riot when he's not making us pull our hair out with extreme exasperation. Those terrible twos? They have squarely moved in although we have a month to go.

We're helping our bestests plan and execute their wedding picnic that's on Sunday, hence the buzzing about and lack of posts. Previous excuse was end of school year which, thankfully, is here. Big sigh of relief.

Happy Summertime and we'll be back soon.

(Incidentally, I've still been reading all of your posts. It's so much more relaxing than writing!)

Things that made my cry recently:

My hormones

Watching images of the BP oil spill

Listening to something on NPR (probably StoryCorp or something)

My wife (hey, it's the end of the year--we are super-stressed teachers right now and set each other off easily these days.)

Things that are getting cooler:

Maternity pants - no more zippers for a while

Feeling the baby - and S.'s super-sensitive hands feeling her/him, too

Deciding whether to find out sex - what do you guys think? We didn't with Theo, and S. is dying to find out. Every day I flip-flop between it being a boy or a girl. I'll be surprised either way.

The end of the year - one-half day of classes left, 4 days of final, 2 days of "professional development", then freedom to breath easy for a while.

Ahhhh.....

Checklist

A check-ish list of accomplishments during our long weekend:

• 2 gardens planted
• 3 grilled meals consumed
• 1 birthday party attended
• 1 13-week pregnant lady swatting away bugs that would not go away
• 3 days of perfect weather
• 1 lawn mowed
• 2 friends that came to sleep over
• 1 parade watched
• 1 flag waved, and waved, and waved

I'm no anchorwoman..

I'm starting to show. I guess it's time to break the news to work. I already told my department head and principal, and both seemed genuinely thrilled for us, but I haven't told any co-workers besides my pregnant buddy, but I really think that it's time. I mean--I have no pants left to wear, people. Time to go shopping.

I really don't like telling people "news". I know, I'm weird. What's the most tactful, least-embarrassing way to break the news?

Blow Up

Apropos of nothing, I turned comment moderation OFF because I found it so annoying, but I'm still getting possibly more annoying blog comments, so will likely be turning it back on, just to warn you.

So, where have we been? We've been..exhausted. The only reason I am able to type this right now is because I happen to be home with Theo for the day since our babysitter's daughter caught the nasty puke-your-brains-out bug going around S.'s school. NOT fun--so we really hope Theo does not get infected with that nastiness. Last week, his whole body BLEW UP with a red, red rash, accompanied by a running nose. Our doc called it some kind of coxsackie virus, but S. suspects it was fifth's disease, so today I went to the hospital lab to get some blood drawn just to check.

However, I am going to go with everything being all well and good on the pregnancy front. My intense hunger has subsided-for now-and we heard the heartbeat on Monday at our first midwife appointment. Yes! I'll be 12 weeks Sunday. That is rather mind blowing. S. is concerned that I haven't "popped" yet--only my ass and boobs seem to be doing the popping--but since I really don't have any summery maternity clothes yet, this is fine by me. Although, I don't know how much longer I can squeeze into my work pants, and I only fit into one pair of jeans. I will also add that my t-shirts look ridiculous on me and all need a size upgrade.

Another thing that BLEW UP in our face this week was some shocking news. Our donor--as in the one we used for Theo--became available again. And the bank DID NOT let us know, like they had said they would. We only found out via a message someone sent S. through the DSR. I didn't quite know what to do with this information. We agonized over what to do once our embryo transfers failed, and we were faced with having to choose a new donor if I wanted to become pregnant next. It took us a really long time to choose, and it's worth pointing out that we made a LOT of phone calls to our original bank inquiring about when our donor would become available again. I know that I was meant to be pregnant with the donor we used, since it worked---and it really will be fine. But there is just this little bug somewhere in the back of my head like--there are going to be half-siblings of Theo out there now-and they won't be mine.

Anyway, onwards we go. We're going to Boston this weekend with my sister (well, she lives there, so we're going to her apt.) then all visiting the Children's Museum. I have so many fond memories of visiting the Museum with my mother as a kid, so it's exciting to get to take Theo for the first time. Enjoy the lovely weather all!

Did you know that....

...it is our FOUR YEAR bloggiversary? I really didn't imagine we would be still blogging, after blogging through the painfully long conception of Theo, S. being pregnant, Theo's birth and babyhood, and now my nascent pregnancy. Crazy, no? There are some blogs I've been following from the beginning, and some I've just found, and others who have sadly just disappeared from the blog world after enduring too much pain. I ache for those friends we started with whose journey did not end up the way they wanted or expected.

On Saturday, we attended a huge picnic to celebrate our hospital's 20-year IVF program. There were nearly 300 IVF-conceived kids there. We got to see our doctors and nurses again, get a free lunch, and free admission to the city museums. It was really wonderful and--amazing--to see how many people's journeys happily ended in family. What was surprising, though, was that there were hardly any other lesbian couples there--we only saw a few. But I know many of them use our doctor for IUIs and are lucky enough to stop there. It made us a little teary-eyed and oh-so grateful for our little lovey.

Updates

Updates, updates, updates...

We got our last scan at the RE's office yesterday. We got marvelous pictures and the babe is measuring ahead of schedule at 8w6d (I was 8w3-4d yesterday). Heartbeat is nice and fast and we can see the beginnings of the umbilical cord. The little gummy bear looks so different from just two weeks ago--it is flabbergasting, really. I guess this finally feels, well...real.

I guess I should have known--I haven't felt too swell lately. Behold my dinner last night. I prepared a marvelous lemon-parmesan asparagus pasta, only to turn my nose up at it at serving time. Instead I indulged in ginger ale, a sleeve of Saltines, and half a bag of Sour Patch Kids. It is literally the only thing I wanted to eat. At least I'm eating. And often. One of my friends whom I work with (also a lesbian, also an English teacher, also pregnant, also already has a son--weird or what?) told me she gets so sick of eating and I thought she was exaggerating.

And now I'm off to eat more crackers.

Wonders of the Sea

We always knew Theo loved the water, but we didn't know how he'd react to seeing water animals. Turns out it was almost as good a reception as a train or truck, and that is pretty darn good. Imagine screaming accompanying the surprised, happy face, and you've pretty much got our day.

Peeping into the beluga tank

Giant indoor tropical fish tank (fuzzy picture thanks to camera shake and no flash, but it looks pretty cool anyway!)

All hands (8 of them!) in the sting ray, sans stingers, tank with cousins T and twins M and F

What's next? Or, am I seriously fat already?

We had our intake appointment yesterday at the m/w office where 7 (!) vials of blood were taken for my prenatal workup. I have no idea what they are testing me for, but okay. The nurse already had to ask if I feel like I am gaining weight. Uh-oh. Let's just say that since I've, um, neglected myself over the past year or so, I've put on a couple extra pounds. So whether I've already gained weight or not, I don't know--I only know that I started off looking like I was already 8-10 weeks pregnant. I am just hoping my body is resting and waiting to catch up instead of the weight taking off like a rocket. Jeesh.

But, I am always.hungry. Always.hungry. Or, I am vaguely nauseated. To ward of nausea, I eat. It's worked the past couple of days, except yesterday I went past the point of hunger and catapulted down into severe nausea, so I learned my lesson. I traveled today with (literally) a bag full of snacks. Good times. Yes, this will really help keep my weight gain to a minimum, I'm sure.

Vacation is pretty much over---here's the last of our vacation pics from NYC. We went to Mystic Aquarium today with 3 other children. It was chaotic but a blast. Pics to follow. For now, Brooklyn Botanical Gardens (with the cherry blossoms at their PEAK!):





from below, looking up into the heavy boughs

I DO NOT KNOW how people in New York City do it--two mammas, one 30+ pound baby boy, a 16 lb. stroller, and probably miles of walking later...we are tre pooped and DONE with walking around the city for the day. We checked out Times Square yesterday just to show Theo the Times Square Toys R'Us (it was a love/hate relationship, as you'll see in the pictures below). Today we walked up and down the High Line, down through the West Village, through Washington Square Park, down Broadway to Chinatown, ate lunch there and then hopped on the train up to Tiffany's and then walked down to Herald Square where the H&M has, apparently, the best maternity tank tops ever (NYC women take note!). Whew. Back home tomorrow night or Wed. afternoon to veg out, deal with garden and yard stuff, and grade a stack of papers that seems half a foot tall. Fun.

Real fun:

Am I just paranoid...??

I'M ON VACATION!

Just wanted to get that out of the way.

I continue to have weird symptoms - simultaneous nausea and hunger - so it's not that I'm worried that anything bad happened, but two nights ago I happened to have a very diluted cup of sassafras tea. What is this, you may ask? Only the most delicious natural-root beer flavored stuff ever. Only, after I drank it, it dawned on me that maybe I should check whether it's contraindicated in pregnancy....oh boy. If you're curious, just go and Google "sassafras in pregnancy" and see what horrifyingly scary things come up, including uterine stimulation and birth defects. Uh-huh. No joke.

So then I see, on these other herbal websites, all the OTHER herbs I should avoid in pregnancy. Jeesh. No camomile? Lavender? Seriously? WTF am I supposed to drink? I gave up coffee and now even decaf is kind of not that good anymore, and tea's all I've got left. I like me a hot beverage, and love iced tea in the summer. What, tell me, what can I drink? Any past/present preggos care to chime in? Or, am I just being overly paranoid?

So, here's how our morning went:

We got to the RE's office and my vitals were taken. Then, one of the lovely nurses there came in to chat because, honestly, I don't think they knew what to do with us. It was like--okay, you're here for a pre-op, but you're pregnant? What? How did that happen? Sooo..what are you doing here exactly?! It's not like they said that, but everyone was kind of in awe. So our doc came in, congratulated us, did the scan, and...voila!! An egg sac with a beating heart inside, measuring just what it's supposed to with it's heart beating at precisely the right rate. Ahhhh....relief doesn't even cover it.

At one point though, there were six people in the room including me: our doc, the nurse, the student doctor who is working with our doc, S., and then the regular u/s tech whom we love. Mind you this room is like, smaller than the bathrooms. But--I didn't really care. We got a pic of the little blob, are actually going back in two weeks for a follow-up scan, and....this is the best news...I can stop taking the darn progesterone because doc thinks everything is doing what it's supposed to. YES! Bye-bye, constipation! (Well, you know, until real pregnancy constipation sets in.)

It was a good day. Except for the mechanic who didn't do what he was supposed to (not even going to go into that), everything was lovely.

It's a date!

Good news! I called the office, talked to one of the wonderful IVF nurses who we've had a great relationship with in the past three years, and she actually encouraged me to come in. She's e-mailing my doc to tell her, and she doesn't think it's weird (or immoral) at all. She was even like, "the first ultrasound is just so fun." So, yeah. Guess I have nothing to worry about. Except for worrying about all the other things.

Wednesday it is. It's a date!

Moral Dilemma

Wow, when I actually feel like eating, food is really good. I should have known, 1 week into the tww, that I was pregnant when I ate 5 Chips Ahoy cookies in a row and it was the most euphoric, delicious thing I had ever tasted.

Anyway, on to my moral dilemma. I am scheduled for a surgery to get my cyst removed in two weeks. Obviously, I'm not having the surgery. So here is the dilemma. My pre-op appointment is this Wednesday. Should I go anyway and just say, hey, I'm newly pregnant but just want to make sure the pregnancy is viable before canceling my surgery. Is that ethical? Because I'm sure that an ultrasound is part of my pre-op just to check out the location and size of the cyst.

Is that bad? The thing is, I'm not going to get an ultrasound for a while because we did our IUIs with the midwives instead of our RE. It's pure selfishness, really, me wanting to get an ultrasound to see if things are going well, if there's a real thing with a heart beating, growing inside of me. But am I wasting someone's time and money by going about it this way? I feel really bad, actually. I suppose I could call the office first and check.

What do you think, oh upright moral readers?

The Bubs

Promised pics from the bubba at Easter. From top to bottom, his first car washing experience, opening presents on Easter morning, dressed up, then, no so much during an Easter egg hunt.

Muddling Through--What's Next?

Well, so--still pregnant as far as I know. My appetite is all out of whack-I get hungry, then as soon as I start eating I'm not hungry. No nausea, but just weird food things--like not craving sweets. That is a big giveaway for me--I hardly ate any dessert at Easter yesterday!! I just feel really, really bloated-too bloated to eat a lot. So I guess now we just...wait? Until, what, 10 weeks or so? I don't even know when to go back to the midwife!! AHHHH!!!

Thank you for all your kind comments--they mean a lot to us, as all good bloggy women know. And...holy cow, there will be A LOT of snowbabies (depending on which part of country you live in, that is) popping out this winter!!! YAY!

Pics from Easter soon. Let's just say that when the day started, Theo looked like he came out of a J Crew catalogue. By the end of the day, he looked like we dragged him out of the dumpster.

Extreme Kookiness

It feels extremely kooky to be writing this post, but here goes nothing.

15dpo: 3 positive hpts.

16dpo: paranoid patient that I am, made my midwife give me a beta. beta number = 199

17dpo: took another hpt: still very positive.

18dpo: twiddling my thumbs with anxiety.

19dpo: beta #2 - 600.

Guess this is some for-reals business going on. My doubt stems from all the cramping I've been experiencing since 13dpo or so - which I thought was proof positive AF was on her merry way. Some of it feels grossly uncomfortable, enough to make me not want to stand up, but so far, so good - no spotting to accompany, no AF (although I am taking progesterone supplements). So, here's the proof positive:

I won't subject you all to photos of the other 3 hpts I fervently took this week.

P.S. - for all peeps in know IRL--please don't congratulate me on Facebook. You all have enough common sense to know this, but I've read some horror stories...didn't that happen to someone around here recently?!

P.P.S. - for all the famiglia I'll be seeing this weekend - just tap us on the shoulder and smile, please, until I'm ready to share at large. We are telling my mama and sis when we land there tomorrow morning.

I am feeling the least bit symptomatic of being pregant, and symptoms I do feel (hunger, bloat, sore boobs, extreme anxiety and moodiness) I am attributing to the progesterone. However, I am only 7 dpo, more or less, and with another week to go of the tww, I am trying to stay positive--or at least neutral. If this try does not work, then I am already booked for a surgery to get my cyst removed next month. I am really, really not looking forward to this surgery (it's supposed to hurt for a week after), so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I see two lines next week.

On a funnier note..my kid is hilarious. And..he is 20 months old. As in 2-0. In a whole other set of numbers old. 24 months seems so, so close. And his mommies...so, so sad. Where is our little boy? Below, witness the big boy consuming an ENTIRE corned beef sandwich at our local St. Patrick's Parade.

And did you know...?

Did you know that, as a side perk of increasing progesterone production (hopefully), B-complex also turns your pee the color of Mountain Dew? Quite amusing!

Oh, NOOOO!

Ahh yes, and as soon as I took comment moderation off, I get a block of Chinese spam, as Shroedinger pointed out. Just loverly!

I feel very good about the timing of these insems. We did one in Noho yesterday at a beauuuutiful new space there called Cr@dle, done by the same mw that delivered Theo (a good sign? I hope so.), then another one this morning. My midwife is fairly certain, as am I, that I ovulated last night because my temp did go up, but I was still very open with LOTS of ewcm. She old me it was as good a timing as she's seen, so that is tre hopeful. I had to go alone this morning and tell a white lie to work about not being able to come to my first 2 classes, but it's all good. Now I just sit back and wait as my nerves jangle about my short luteal phase. I start progesterone supplements Wed. night and bought some B-complex to take in addition.

Aaaaand, guess what word Theo has learned? NO!!! Ahhh, yes, the wonderful world of NO, or, as he likes to say in a way-too cute voice, OH, NOOOOO!!!!!! It takes our all not to imitate him and give him the wrong idea that it's actually a fun and cute word that's okay to say all the time. I guess it was inevitable.