Tuesday, August 01, 2006

ugh

Yup, I've been avoiding you. While C. seems to post about random inane topics du jour, I just turn away. And it really has taken me an entire week to unwind. I have been disapointed, angry and very, very sad. I can't express the extraordinary sadness that overcomes me when I find that we spent a whole month planning and waiting for no reason. I think this one was so much more difficult because we have so much new going on - and it's going to be *so much harder* to transition to new insurance and a new doctor, once we find one. And who knows how long that will take? I know it's a good thing for my mental stability to take August off, but I have to admit, I don't really want to. It's going to be quite the effort to start up again. I haven't even been tracking my period or temps this month. While it's quite a relief, I feel a bit guilty. I have no time to waste - my clock is ticking. I just hope it's not ticked out....

Mostly, I just really hate not getting my way. -sp

2 comments:

vee said...

I feel for you.
That feeling of not being able to control this process, not being able to do what you want, when you want because of stupid insurance companies or whatever. It takes so much emotional energy.

I hope you are able to recharge a lille in August, despite it being an enforced break.

Laura D. said...

Please remember that you have alot of friends and loved ones who are pulling for you in all of this. Your clock is not ticked out...women sometimes have babies in their 50s. My mother had me when she was 30, so you are right on time, in my book. You two are going to make GREAT parents. Just remember that when things get discouraging. Love you!