Theo is 8 months old today. woh.
It's interesting that I haven't posted many updates on the breastfeeding situation. Please recall the breastfeeding dilemma I have been in from day one. I never got enough supply to sustain him, so most of his nutritional intake is from formula. However, I kept up what I could for the health/brain benefits as well as the comfort. Plus, I liked it. Lately he's been nursing before bed and first thing in the morning. I envisioned myself a extended breastfeeding kinda woman...alas...
I pulled the plug. I stopped pumping. I've dutifully pumped everyday for 8 months even though I get paltry amounts. It used to be every time I fed him (even in the middle of the night). Then I went back to work so I was just pumping 3-4 times when I was home. Eventually it dwindled down to once, after I fed him at night. I decided to stop pumping because he self-weaned out of his evening feedings. At this point, he wants the bottle because it's faster and easier. I'm lucky he didn't do this sooner. My supply has diminished to just about nothing (I also stopped the d*mperidone). He isn't interested at night and he was just vaguely piqued this morning.
I worked really hard at breastfeeding. I would call myself a success. Even though he's a formula baby. My first goal was to get breast milk into him everyday for 3 months. Check. Then make it 6 months. Check. My next was 9. I don't know if we'll get there. We have a few weeks left of frozen breastmilk - stored from many tiny amounts acquired while pumping. In my heart, I was hoping for a year. I'm sad it's just about over.
I had such a tumultuous relationship with the entire process. I'm jealous of women who can just whip-it-out and sustain their baby. I'm bitter with women who can and choose not too. I did what I hope was best for Theo. I tried my damndest.
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To be known, henceforth, as the makers of the cutest little baby in town.
7 comments:
You did GREAT, SP. *hugs*
Some women aren't made to breastfeed at all. Some lactate like nobody's business. You were on the low end, but you tried and that's all you can do. Kudos for sticking with trying this long. Many less motivated women would have given up months ago.
You did a great job! So many people would have given up. Theo is lucky to have a mama that tried as hard as you :)
i can only imagine how hard it must be that the choice was not yours. you really did awesome and put so much effort into it!
You are awesome.
You did an awesome job!! Most moms in your situation will just give up right away, but you didn't. You kept at it and Theo was able to get a little breastmilk everyday, which is better than none at all... =)
Thanks for all the advice! I feel like i can't ever get enough of it. I am getting more anxious about breastfeeding because I want so badly for it to be successful. Thanks for the post, it makes me feel better about setting small goals and hoping for more.
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