7 dpiui. Halfway home. I'm trying a different approach this time around. I've decided not to talk about it too much - here or in real-life. Keeping this go-around low key.
On another note, the fertility pharmacy we're working with "accidentally" shipped and charged me for next months injectible meds. Oops. Yes, $600 worth of gonal-f is sitting in my refrigerator. Medication I **hopefully** won't need. I've worked it out with the company that I will be able to return it if necessary. Annoying...
But wouldn't that make a great story? How ironic!
-s
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Cranky Pant
I can't stop eating nacho chips and I need to go downstairs to cook something REAL to eat. Just a quick update, though...obviously S.'s cramps subsided--but not for about an hour, and she was really out of commission. I heard this was bad--one of the book we've read said that cramping causes unnecessary distress in you uterus, making it less likely to accept sperm. But...then I read a bunch of message boards where women had terrible cramping after an IUI and got pregnant that cycle, so who knows--guess every body is different. The nurses and Babymaking Clinic told her to take some extra-strength Tylenol (which does squat for S. most of the time, but oh well).
That's all...that and S. and I are really aggravating each other. I think we need to get outside--we've been cooped up too long!
That's all...that and S. and I are really aggravating each other. I think we need to get outside--we've been cooped up too long!
Friday, April 20, 2007
Commence IUI #7
The deed is done. It happened this morning. I can't post a long, detailed post because C.'s mom is in town and that's rude. But a quick update...necessary. It was relatively painless at the office, but an hour after, starting in the grocery store parking lot, I got the WORST cramps. I cramped constantly for about and hour and a half. It was really painful - severe cramping. Has that ever happened to anyone? Is there still a chance this could work? I like of to think of the sperm in the uterus dancing around banging into the walls because they're so excited to be here. But I'm worried that the sperm got in there and said, "Woh, I heard she's a lesbian, let's get the hell out of here!"
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Why Straight Women Can Be Annoying
I love straight women. Really, I do. LOVE them. Most women I know and love are, in fact, straight women. But sometimes, when it comes to their fertility, they just don't know how lucky they have it!
Example. We went to our "How To Shoot Expensive Meds Correctly Into Your Body" workshop with a lovely nurse from the hospital. 2 other women were there, both definitely straight and without their husbands present. The first problem is that the seminar is very hetero-centric. Not that I was offended by that, but the nurse made sure to tell ALL of us, without exception, that after we take the hcg shot, we should have intercourse that night. Hmmm....now, I could, indeed, have intercourse the same night, but it probably wouldn't have the same result as these other two women.
Okay, problem number two was that the nurse assumes that everyone's uber-expensive fertility drugs are going to be covered by insurance, as are all the procedures (IUI, ultrasounds, etc.). For us, not so much. So that really vexed me. And here's why it vexed me more--these other two women, while I'm sure were perfectly nice, clearly didn't have as great a clue as WE, the two gay women who aren't having their procedures covered. We know what an IUI is, we know how to go through the rigamarole of inseminations, we know what an HCG shot does, and we know when we can inseminate after an HCG has been given. These two didn't seem as clued in. Now granted, if they're at this point in their conception--to the point of injectible fertility meds, that is--they probably have some clue as to their inner working. You know, timing ovulations, temping, blah blah blah....but it just didn't seem like they were on the same page as us.
I guess I really shouldn't be crowing about this, because for one thing, their sperm is free, and another, the meds are probably covered. So what do we get for being so knowledgable and with it? A big, fat credit card bill.
Example. We went to our "How To Shoot Expensive Meds Correctly Into Your Body" workshop with a lovely nurse from the hospital. 2 other women were there, both definitely straight and without their husbands present. The first problem is that the seminar is very hetero-centric. Not that I was offended by that, but the nurse made sure to tell ALL of us, without exception, that after we take the hcg shot, we should have intercourse that night. Hmmm....now, I could, indeed, have intercourse the same night, but it probably wouldn't have the same result as these other two women.
Okay, problem number two was that the nurse assumes that everyone's uber-expensive fertility drugs are going to be covered by insurance, as are all the procedures (IUI, ultrasounds, etc.). For us, not so much. So that really vexed me. And here's why it vexed me more--these other two women, while I'm sure were perfectly nice, clearly didn't have as great a clue as WE, the two gay women who aren't having their procedures covered. We know what an IUI is, we know how to go through the rigamarole of inseminations, we know what an HCG shot does, and we know when we can inseminate after an HCG has been given. These two didn't seem as clued in. Now granted, if they're at this point in their conception--to the point of injectible fertility meds, that is--they probably have some clue as to their inner working. You know, timing ovulations, temping, blah blah blah....but it just didn't seem like they were on the same page as us.
I guess I really shouldn't be crowing about this, because for one thing, their sperm is free, and another, the meds are probably covered. So what do we get for being so knowledgable and with it? A big, fat credit card bill.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Pokey little puppies
Looks like we're on the slow boat this month, not the express train. S.'s follicles, while still numbering more than 1, are growing very, verrrrry slowly. I think the biggest one right now, from Thursday to Monday, grew from 10 to 14 mm. Hmmm...the u/s tech told us to come back Thursday, which is so ridiculous because we have to go there on Wednesday for injectible meds. orientation. And I assume we'll also be back Friday or Saturday for the insem. That's just way more days than I'd like to spend at the hospital.
In other unrelated news...this rain is just ridiculous. We honestly thought the "brook" behind our house was going to bust up over the bank and flood our house. The brook looked more like a gushing white-water rapids yesterday. We were afraid to let Ringo, our doggy, out back too far for fear he'd get swept away! Ahh! Luckily the Westfield River has seemed to recede some, enough that we're not afraid that our house is going to get washed out. Fun vacation times!
In other unrelated news...this rain is just ridiculous. We honestly thought the "brook" behind our house was going to bust up over the bank and flood our house. The brook looked more like a gushing white-water rapids yesterday. We were afraid to let Ringo, our doggy, out back too far for fear he'd get swept away! Ahh! Luckily the Westfield River has seemed to recede some, enough that we're not afraid that our house is going to get washed out. Fun vacation times!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
U/S update
Took a gander at my follies this morning. They are small - all about 10mm - but there are 3 on the left and 1 on the right. I've decided to take this as good news. Small, yes, but the amount is a big improvement. Now, no way to know right now if they will all keep growing at the same pace, but it's a good start. It's different than the past - and at this stage in the game, different is good. Let's do a recap:
1st try at R.E.(Clomid)-day 12, 1 follicle 25mm, triggered at office, insem 24 hours later
2nd try at R.E(Clomid)-day 11, 2 follicles 15mm, triggered days later, insem 36 hours later
TODAY(Clomid) - day 11, 4 follicles 10mm, going for another ultrasound Monday AM....
Weird, but there is a pattern there. Slower growing follicles, but more of them. Any similar experiences - particularly good ones?
What this also means is that I will be able to head into the city this weekend! Yeah! We've been feeling the need to get out of the cold wet country. Drink some wine (I know, tsk..tsk), plan our trip to Alaska with friends, and celebrate a friends 30th!
1st try at R.E.(Clomid)-day 12, 1 follicle 25mm, triggered at office, insem 24 hours later
2nd try at R.E(Clomid)-day 11, 2 follicles 15mm, triggered days later, insem 36 hours later
TODAY(Clomid) - day 11, 4 follicles 10mm, going for another ultrasound Monday AM....
Weird, but there is a pattern there. Slower growing follicles, but more of them. Any similar experiences - particularly good ones?
What this also means is that I will be able to head into the city this weekend! Yeah! We've been feeling the need to get out of the cold wet country. Drink some wine (I know, tsk..tsk), plan our trip to Alaska with friends, and celebrate a friends 30th!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Down Time
We're not so super-duper psyched up over here these days. I guess we're just waiting around until S. is ready for her next insemination, which should be over the next week or so. This is a Clomid-only cycle, since we have to take an official class with a nurse on how to inject those expensive drugs correctly into S.'s body. I'm not really looking forward to it--I could barely manage the hcg shot into the belly in February. Doing the shot itself was fine, of course--it's physically shoving a needle into your loved one's body that is a little intimidating. Big props to all my diabetic peeps out there and their family members--don' t know how you do it every day!
Other than that, we've been keeping very busy lately--planning our garden, raking the lawn, planting peas, knitting, dinner...fun stuff. And vacation next week. Hopefully it will be warm enough to feel inspired to dig up our garden and build our raised beds. Otherwise, we're mellowing out, hoping those follicles are growing nice and plump and juicy.
Other than that, we've been keeping very busy lately--planning our garden, raking the lawn, planting peas, knitting, dinner...fun stuff. And vacation next week. Hopefully it will be warm enough to feel inspired to dig up our garden and build our raised beds. Otherwise, we're mellowing out, hoping those follicles are growing nice and plump and juicy.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Confirmed
We waited for over a half an hour in our R.E.'s office on Friday--an auspicious beginning. What resulted from the meeting wasn't half-bad, though. Confirmation that in all likelihood, S.'s ovaries and uterus are completely normal and that we've just been unlucky. Further confirmation that we have to do 12 in-office, under-meds inseminations for insurance coverage to kick in. And, the big blow, a confirmation of how much injectible meds are going to cost us. Let's just say it's a lot. And that we'll be spending about $500 more per cycle now.
Well, starting in May, actually...and May represents the one-year anniversary of us trying to get pregnant. So, for our May cycle, after we've ordered the drugs and we've taken the class on how to shoot ourselves up, off we go. Looks like this month we're just going to do another Clomid cycle and hope for the best.
I really hope this is it--because the thought of doing this 6 more times with a doctor, another HALF A YEAR, seems gruelling and mentally impossible at this point. You know, as if the insurance company has any freaking right to tell us that home inseminations don't count. What about straight couples who can just saunter into a doc's office and tell them they've been trying for a year?? So not fair.
On the upside of things, it finally felt like Spring this weekend. If you want to see something funny, check out S. vacuuming our lawn!
Well, starting in May, actually...and May represents the one-year anniversary of us trying to get pregnant. So, for our May cycle, after we've ordered the drugs and we've taken the class on how to shoot ourselves up, off we go. Looks like this month we're just going to do another Clomid cycle and hope for the best.
I really hope this is it--because the thought of doing this 6 more times with a doctor, another HALF A YEAR, seems gruelling and mentally impossible at this point. You know, as if the insurance company has any freaking right to tell us that home inseminations don't count. What about straight couples who can just saunter into a doc's office and tell them they've been trying for a year?? So not fair.
On the upside of things, it finally felt like Spring this weekend. If you want to see something funny, check out S. vacuuming our lawn!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Sassy-slacks begone!
To help reassure that I am not always a grouchy ol' sad-sack!
Things for which I am currently thankful:
1. new hope packaged in a RE appointment tomorrow morning to discuss new protocol
2. a thoroughly vigorous and reenergizing yoga class
3. my darling animal yin-yang
Things for which I am currently thankful:
1. new hope packaged in a RE appointment tomorrow morning to discuss new protocol
2. a thoroughly vigorous and reenergizing yoga class
3. my darling animal yin-yang
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Green.
I was NOT looking forward to yesterday. I was dreading it for a week or so. In fact, it may have inspired a major meltdown/breakdown/pity party I threw for myself on Friday night. Yes, many a tear and sob was shed over several hours the night before. Wait till you hear why...
I had to go to a baby shower, for a baby girl, for someone who started trying after I did. Poor me. I know I am over-dramatizing this situation, but honestly, for me, this was really hard. Let me add, that I do, in fact, really like this couple. It's so dangerous for me to fawn over little, soft, pink, things - things I cannot have.
I want this month on the sidelines to be over. I want to get back to the business of making a baby. Hopefully with some new inspiration from our RE who we see on Friday. Because I really need the inpiration - the 'this is never gonna happen' vibe is making me crazy.
-s
I had to go to a baby shower, for a baby girl, for someone who started trying after I did. Poor me. I know I am over-dramatizing this situation, but honestly, for me, this was really hard. Let me add, that I do, in fact, really like this couple. It's so dangerous for me to fawn over little, soft, pink, things - things I cannot have.
I want this month on the sidelines to be over. I want to get back to the business of making a baby. Hopefully with some new inspiration from our RE who we see on Friday. Because I really need the inpiration - the 'this is never gonna happen' vibe is making me crazy.
-s
Monday, March 19, 2007
Things to remember: A List
1. Snow gets heavy when it's over 4" high; then you need a snowblower
2. Little dogs get lost in the snow when it's higher than they are
3. People in massachusetts loooove st. patrick's day
4. People in massachusetts loooove beer, a parade, and st. patrick's day
5. Mixing Guiness, Bailey's and Jameson is tasty and bad, all at the same time.
2. Little dogs get lost in the snow when it's higher than they are
3. People in massachusetts loooove st. patrick's day
4. People in massachusetts loooove beer, a parade, and st. patrick's day
5. Mixing Guiness, Bailey's and Jameson is tasty and bad, all at the same time.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
City Dork, Country Dork
I may now officially be a country girl, ahem, nee dork. Know what I'm looking forward to this weekend? The Maple festival. Yes, that's right--March is Massachusetts Maple Month (catch the illiteration?) and on Saturday, it'll be a day of tapping demonstrations, a parade, lots of syrup and other maple goodies for sale, and..I don't really know what else. But doesn't it sound COOL?
That is one of the ONLY good things about March around here--there are so many sugar shacks that start opening up once the sap starts a-flowin', and they're open for breakfast much of the morning and into early afternoon on the weekends. My recommendation is High Hope Sugar Shack, in...hmm, where is that place..somewhere on Rt. 20. Worthington, I believe. Unlimited pancakes, eggs, bacon & sausage served with, of course, their own maple syrup, made on-site. Glorious!
Here's the link for High Hopes. I'm sure you can find some other sugar shacks from the website, too: http://www.hidden-hills.com/highhopes
That is one of the ONLY good things about March around here--there are so many sugar shacks that start opening up once the sap starts a-flowin', and they're open for breakfast much of the morning and into early afternoon on the weekends. My recommendation is High Hope Sugar Shack, in...hmm, where is that place..somewhere on Rt. 20. Worthington, I believe. Unlimited pancakes, eggs, bacon & sausage served with, of course, their own maple syrup, made on-site. Glorious!
Here's the link for High Hopes. I'm sure you can find some other sugar shacks from the website, too: http://www.hidden-hills.com/highhopes
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Housing Authority
When it comes to getting things done around our house, S. is definitely the task master. This past week, we accomplished many-a-project, including painting our bedroom, touching up all the places we accidentally painted the ceiling, and making curtains for our pantry cabinets (which were cabinet door-less). She is amazing! Without her, I wouldn't get anything done. Plus all this running-around house-stuff keeps our mind off the baby-stuff, which is on hold until next month. So, no ttc this month--we meet with Dr. Impossible on the 30th to see what the next step shall be and how much it's going to cost us.
In the meantime, like I mentioned, we're doing stuff around the house and getting psyched up for our garden. This weekend the snow really started melting, so it kicked our desire for spring into super-high gear. We're planning a raised bed-style garden. It'll be our first done all on our own (and it's going to be organic!), so be sure to follow our trials and tribulations over here. That's our house blog called "Those Girls Next Door" which I abandoned after just a few posts due to major stress at work and babymaking and generally adjusting to life in a completely new surrounding. Turned out two blogs was too much for me to deal with, but I think I'm prepared for the responsibility now.
There's pictures there, too.
In the meantime, like I mentioned, we're doing stuff around the house and getting psyched up for our garden. This weekend the snow really started melting, so it kicked our desire for spring into super-high gear. We're planning a raised bed-style garden. It'll be our first done all on our own (and it's going to be organic!), so be sure to follow our trials and tribulations over here. That's our house blog called "Those Girls Next Door" which I abandoned after just a few posts due to major stress at work and babymaking and generally adjusting to life in a completely new surrounding. Turned out two blogs was too much for me to deal with, but I think I'm prepared for the responsibility now.
There's pictures there, too.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Not just unlucky
There's a title I think I need to start trying on....infertile. 3IVI's and 6IUI's (4 with Clomid) and still no pregnancy. That's something to consider.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Domestic Bliss
Some visions of the domestic goddess I was today:
Painting the bedroom--bu-bye, turquoise! It was a good run, but we won't miss you. Helloooo Ralph Lauren "Sisal"!
Yum! Sugar cookies! (Because I didn't have any more chocolate chips in the house!)
Of course, I also had the not-so-fun job of calling around and making appointments for us. If this cycle turns out to be a dud like the others, we have to go to injectible fertility meds. Which means we have to somehow see Dr. Impossible so we can get the lowdown on what meds she recommends for us and then attend an orientation on how to shoot them into your body. Fun times. Next available appointment: March 30. If we weren't taking next cycle off, we'd be slightly screwed now, wouldn't we? Luckily I think we'll be able to manage by having a little phone chat and just attending the orientation ourselves. And then there's the cost..I'm not talking about that right now and insist on not talking about it until we actually reach that phase--which will be never, because this cycle is going to be it.
Painting the bedroom--bu-bye, turquoise! It was a good run, but we won't miss you. Helloooo Ralph Lauren "Sisal"!
Yum! Sugar cookies! (Because I didn't have any more chocolate chips in the house!)
Of course, I also had the not-so-fun job of calling around and making appointments for us. If this cycle turns out to be a dud like the others, we have to go to injectible fertility meds. Which means we have to somehow see Dr. Impossible so we can get the lowdown on what meds she recommends for us and then attend an orientation on how to shoot them into your body. Fun times. Next available appointment: March 30. If we weren't taking next cycle off, we'd be slightly screwed now, wouldn't we? Luckily I think we'll be able to manage by having a little phone chat and just attending the orientation ourselves. And then there's the cost..I'm not talking about that right now and insist on not talking about it until we actually reach that phase--which will be never, because this cycle is going to be it.
It's true what they say...
People say that teachers hardly work, and I guess this time, they'd be correct. S. had a delay this morning (with a puny accumulation of maybe 3" on the ground) and I had a...cancellation! Yes, we just had the last week off of work for February vacation, and now I get my vacation extended an extra day. AND we're supposed to get dumped on Friday. Don't worry--we'll be making these days up at the end of the year, and then you'll be laughing at us.
Not to worry about me, though--S. left me a "list" of things to accomplish today. I think I can handle it, though I am perpetually lazy and have about a million tests to correct that I sort of let fester over break. But I'm awake, semi-dressed, and ready for some more caffeine to get my list done. Maybe I'll even tackle painting the bedroom-alone!
Not to worry about me, though--S. left me a "list" of things to accomplish today. I think I can handle it, though I am perpetually lazy and have about a million tests to correct that I sort of let fester over break. But I'm awake, semi-dressed, and ready for some more caffeine to get my list done. Maybe I'll even tackle painting the bedroom-alone!
Friday, February 23, 2007
A List
Here's a list of things you can do to while away the tww. (We did all of these things this week, in fact!)
- dehydrate bananas and apples in your parents' food dehydrator from the 1980's
- make granola
- finish knitting and sewing projects lying around the house
- go to Mass MoCA
- go visit your mom
- drive through a snow storm for pizza in Northampton
- mail packages to your friends who just had babies
- repaint your bedroom
Monday, February 19, 2007
Yuck Day
S. bled and cried, but the swimmers are inside. (Hey, I didn't even mean that to rhyme, but it did). I think that it's good thing we are taking next month off if this doesn't work. Emotionally, I don't think we can do another month straight through like this. Also, how bad is this---our actual doctor came in to do the insemination today and we didn't even recognize her! Oh, babymaking clinic...
Tww, here we are (again).
Tww, here we are (again).
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Snow Day!
Off the subjet for a second, Blogger finally broke me down and I had to switch over to signing in with my Google account, something I've been resisting. I'm never going to remember how to log in now!
Back to the subject--it's a snow day! And it's Valentine's Day, which means S. and I get to spend the day snuggled up together on the couch, watching trashy daytime tv and eating junk food. Sounds glorious, no? (It's great that we're both teachers on days like this.) S. goes in for her ultrasound tomorrow to see the status of the little follicles. They were a tad too big last time we did the insem, so the people at the clinic are thinking that earlier by a day or two will be better for us. Hopefully we'll be able to do the insemination on Friday, because we're supposed to go to Martha's Vineyard this weekend. I will be quite annoyed if we don't get to go because we're waiting on S.'s follicles to plump up.
Not that I'm mad at the follicles or at S. or even at the fact that we're insemming for the 9th time--but that I have constantly been rearranging my life as we've been ttcing. I'm just so sick of it being an interference, and I don't want to look at it that way--I want it to be exciting and hopeful and a good, positive event. I think I need to shed the negativity, say that it is what it is, and hopefully let some more positive energy help us this time around.
Back to the subject--it's a snow day! And it's Valentine's Day, which means S. and I get to spend the day snuggled up together on the couch, watching trashy daytime tv and eating junk food. Sounds glorious, no? (It's great that we're both teachers on days like this.) S. goes in for her ultrasound tomorrow to see the status of the little follicles. They were a tad too big last time we did the insem, so the people at the clinic are thinking that earlier by a day or two will be better for us. Hopefully we'll be able to do the insemination on Friday, because we're supposed to go to Martha's Vineyard this weekend. I will be quite annoyed if we don't get to go because we're waiting on S.'s follicles to plump up.
Not that I'm mad at the follicles or at S. or even at the fact that we're insemming for the 9th time--but that I have constantly been rearranging my life as we've been ttcing. I'm just so sick of it being an interference, and I don't want to look at it that way--I want it to be exciting and hopeful and a good, positive event. I think I need to shed the negativity, say that it is what it is, and hopefully let some more positive energy help us this time around.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Just Take It...
It doesn't seem like we're getting a reprieve from being NOT pregnant anytime soon, so I'm telling myself to just take it and deal with it and look ahead to next month.
But when I look ahead to next month, I get nervous. Next month is the last month using Clomid only. And if this doesn't work, then what, you may be wondering. On to injectibles. Swell. How much does this cost, you might ask. Great question--and I do NOT have an answer to it. How much does insurance cover? No clue. Will S. undergo any testing to see if there's anything "wrong"? Umm, not sure.
So you see my nervousness. I am just not sure of anything past next month, and S. has said that she refuses to ttc in March because she doesn't want a December baby. I guess that's considerate of her--it does suck having a birthday close to Christmas, as many of our close friends will contest, and this year her cousin screwed up the holidays when her baby wasn't born until the 23rd. I guess one positive is that we can control (sorta) these things when we're planning like this.
But when I look ahead to next month, I get nervous. Next month is the last month using Clomid only. And if this doesn't work, then what, you may be wondering. On to injectibles. Swell. How much does this cost, you might ask. Great question--and I do NOT have an answer to it. How much does insurance cover? No clue. Will S. undergo any testing to see if there's anything "wrong"? Umm, not sure.
So you see my nervousness. I am just not sure of anything past next month, and S. has said that she refuses to ttc in March because she doesn't want a December baby. I guess that's considerate of her--it does suck having a birthday close to Christmas, as many of our close friends will contest, and this year her cousin screwed up the holidays when her baby wasn't born until the 23rd. I guess one positive is that we can control (sorta) these things when we're planning like this.
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