Sunday, March 25, 2007

Green.

I was NOT looking forward to yesterday. I was dreading it for a week or so. In fact, it may have inspired a major meltdown/breakdown/pity party I threw for myself on Friday night. Yes, many a tear and sob was shed over several hours the night before. Wait till you hear why...

I had to go to a baby shower, for a baby girl, for someone who started trying after I did. Poor me. I know I am over-dramatizing this situation, but honestly, for me, this was really hard. Let me add, that I do, in fact, really like this couple. It's so dangerous for me to fawn over little, soft, pink, things - things I cannot have.

I want this month on the sidelines to be over. I want to get back to the business of making a baby. Hopefully with some new inspiration from our RE who we see on Friday. Because I really need the inpiration - the 'this is never gonna happen' vibe is making me crazy.

-s

7 comments:

Sophia said...

take it easy on yourself the envy is normal I have MULTIPLE posts about it in the past two years

SaraS-P said...

Yep. It happens. I am facing a similar shower sometime in the coming months. And I get to see an old classmate who is due in June this week. Before she moved away, she asked me about prenatal vitamins and any tips I had for babymaking. Ha! How ironic that she got pregnant STRAIGHT AWAY and I still just wishing.

Bah! If only the rest of the world didn't seem to do this so effortlessly!

e. said...

been there done that. don't beat yourself up about it. we feel what we feel and to ignore it will only make things worse.

i hear you about wanting this cycle on the sidelines over!

xoxoxo

A said...

totally know how you feel. Have to go to a co-worker's baby shower soon and dreading it. Hang in there.

vee said...

Feels shitty, I know. Thank goodness we don't do the shower thing here in the UK - bad enough just knowing!

Sara said...

definitely don't feel guilty about the 'green'. acknowledge it b/c it isn't fair! like e. says, ignoring it will make it even worse.

hang in there, you're not alone!

e. said...

hey,
i am working on the WMass blog gathering and want to email you some info. Will you email me (2momsrbetterthan1@myway.com) so i can add you to the list? :)

e.