all things medical

Some of you may recall way back in the day of 20-week ultrasounds, they found an irregularity in the baby's kidney. Well, that baby turned out to be Theo, and the irregularity still exists. We just went to a pediatric urologist hoping to have him wave us a way saying "see? I told you it would resolve by itself..." But no, Theo has Grade 2 (1 being best, 5 the worst) hydronephrosis of the left kidney and needs a VCUG, which is a catheter inserted into his penis, dye injected into his bladder, all on ultrasound so they can see which way the fluid is moving. Hopefully, not toward his kidneys. I know this will give us an answer once and for all if anything is wrong, but I don't want him to go through this. hmph. 

On another note, he's covered in patches of an excema-like rash. We have a call into the pediatrician. It doesn't seem to bother him, but it's all over his belly, spotty on his back, the back of his knees, his neck. Poor little doodle. We've been spreading Aqu@phor on him pretty liberally. My worry is that it is a sign of food allergy. We started rice cereal on Christmas - he was 5 months and sooooo ready. That kid was born to eat. 

Oh yeah, 19lbs2oz. Big doodle.

Any advice, experience, concerns????

What a year!

From my giant jolly 5 month old to my ever-unhappy newborn.

We're Off!

..to a distant state for Christmas. Here is our packing list, to be shoved in the back of S.'s dad's 12-seater work van. I dare there to be any room left for passengers after we get through packing it up:

• one exersaucer - not collapsable
• at least 3 bags of groceries, just from our home, nevermind what S.'s parents are bringing
• several bags and 2 boxes of presents
• one huge bag just for Theo
• a suitcase for us
• a bag o'toys, blankets, etc...
• diaper bag plus our own personal purse-type bags (we barely carry purses anymore-anyone else have this issue? Bye-bye handbag obsession, hello diaper bag obsession!)

Ugh...and this is after S.'s parents have put their luggage, presents, and groceries in. Even with that long van, I predict it will be a squeeze. But all for love of family do we travel thus, right? This will be Theo's longest car ride yet--we'll see how he does. We leave tomorrow after school time, so most of the driving will correspond with sleepy time, in theory.

Here's Mr. Theo styling in his car seat last weekend. We hope he'll be that happy in it all week!

Always the eldest!

Theo's not the baby any longer. His cousin arrived Sunday evening. 

Meet Jackson Joseph - what a cutie!

We will be spending Christmas with him several states away. We can't wait to squish on him. Theo's going to look like the beast he has become next to this teenie-weenie. What special gifts we have this year.

A Weekend of Miracles

I am the bah-humbug of this family, but even I had to admit I was pleased with everything that happened this weekend while we were away. I was worried about numerous things, from packing up all our crap to traffic driving into the city on a Friday to a cranky baby in line at M@cy's to see Santa. Behold the miracles our magical trip contained:

1. NO TRAFFIC! Once we finally crossed the Triboro (I mean the "RFK Bridge"), I finally had to burst out "Where is everybody?!" which prompted a whack from S. because you never jinx a good streak like that.

2. Pete came down to both help us empty the car and give us his parking spot on his block. What a good friend.

3. We carried Theo around in the Ergo and he had zero meltdowns. Zero. He was amazing--either sleeping or taking in the sights of the city. And, the biggest miracle of all...

Theo totally dug Santa, and I really think we got the real one who totally dug Theo back. No screaming, no fussing. Not a peep. And the line was just not that long--half-hour tops.

4. Then we got to Soho, which on a normal Saturday would be obsurdly crowded. No one there. We were in and out of the Paul Frank store to pick up a couple of onesies for S.'s mom to give to Theo and his cousin (who is supposed to be born on Thursday!!). And they were 25% off. And they were serving milk and cookies.

5. We ate sushi. Theo stuck his hand in the soy sauce. He seemed to enjoy it.

6. There were some other boring things we did that went smoothly. We made it home and ate yummy pizza. We ate bagels and coffee for breakfast, went to Ikea, then went to visit more friends in CT.

The only bummer was the ride home in snow and non-plowed or salted roads. That really sucked and definitely added a bit onto our ride, not to mention was stressful as hell, but all in all I'd say the exhaustion was blissfully warm and squishy and sufficed to even get me to sing a Christmas carol or two in the car. S. declared me offically "in the Christmas spirit." The end.

And We're Off...

There isn't one weekend in December where we are not either going away or have something going on. This is the inaugural weekend of December insanity, and we're off to the city to stay with friends and maybe, just maybe, stand in line to get Theo's picture taken with the Macy's Santa Claus. This sounds like insanity to me, but S. insists we're "making memories!" It will be an adventure nevertheless, toting Theo around on the subway and down city streets. I'm kind of interested to see what our lives would have been like had we not moved out, and had to deal with the consequences of being city mamas. I know there are plenty of you out there whose blogs we read who deal with this everyday, so let's see if we have the muster to do it for even one weekend!

One of my biggest defects is that I have wonderful ideas and intentions, but terrible or not-so-perfect execution and follow-through. This blog is a perfect example. In theory, I love writing on the blog. The reality is, I come home from work exhausted from a long day, then am Mommy and home chef and housekeeper and various errand runner, and then I don't even have time to check e-mail let alone write a blog entry. I'm sure this is a common tale, and my intention is certainly not to fill this particular entry with woe and whining about how hard my life has become. The fact is life is more challenging now, with less down-time, especially this time of year. But the fact remains that life has improved in immeasurable ways.

Today I officially adopted Theo. I found the day to be a happy occasion, but S. found the whole thing absurd rather than a celebration. We had to pay $1,000 just so that some other state or country can recognize our marriage (by default) and the birth of our son (by law). She just doesn't think we should be having to do this in the first place. But I'd like to remind her that there are plenty of states (like, mostly the rest of them) that wouldn't even have allowed our adoption today to have happened, and certainly in not such a pleasant way. The judge smiled and flirted with Theo the whole time (the whole 5 minutes it took) instead of being all grave and serious. We never felt talked down to, but felt encouraged by her words: "I don't see why we shouldn't make this family right now." Bloggers already know that love makes a family long before the law does, but it was affirming nonetheless, especially in light of all the craptastic civil rights repeals as of late.

And so I'll leave you not with an adoption picture exactly (he screamed his head off through all of those!), but with a four-month picture of Theo happily playing in his (now legal) family home.
By the way, this kid is, for all intents and purposes, a beast. His height percentage was apparently "off the charts", and he weighs a whopping 16 lbs, 12 oz. Yikes!

working mama

Being a working mom is even harder than been a stay-at-home mom and I thought that was hard! It's like having 2 full-time jobs. I'm exhausted. I can't ever imagine having a minute to myself. My god, how will I blog? :) I know it's just a matter of getting used to our new routine. But, whoa.

Actually, the first two days of this week, our babysitter's kid came down with pneumonia, so I had to call C. mid-day to go get him. I couldn't leave on my first day back, right?! Then he went to school with me on Election day when we had Professional Development (aka - no students). So it's only been two days. She says he's been great. 

I love being back in the classroom. It feels good. And I love being reunited at 3pm. It's really the perfect situation. I just need to realize that I'm not going to do as much in the classroom - let it go - I do not need to be teacher of the year! There's no productive early mornings or late afternoons with the little Theo with me. Priorities, right?

Little Stinker

Hope everyone had a happy Halloween weekend. I'll let you know how day one as a working mom goes tomorrow. I'm too busy to be freaked out - I'm sure that will creep up at 3 am. 

counting down

One week left! My goodness. Some predicted I would be "loving it" by this point and go back to school kicking and screaming. Partly true. There is part of me that will miss some parts of the day - but overall, I'm ready to go back. Well not ready per se, but ready to get ready. I have plans to make, schedules to change, assessments to analyze, kids to know -YIKES. I'm going back to school. It will be a lot of energy and organization in the beginning both on the Theo end and the being a teacher part. But I look two months ahead and like the routine and consistency and being a working mom. That's me. SAHMhood was fun (well, not always) while it lasted. 

We spent the weekend in Burlington visiting with family friends. We had a great time. But we're glad to be home to get Theo back into his routine. He had fun waking up 5 times on Saturday night. I think his buddy Noah taught him that.

Here they are palling around!

the difference a year can make

A year ago today, Theo was an 8-cell top-grade embryo being placed inside my uterus. Thankfully, he burrowed in nicely, stayed warm and cozy for 9 months before arriving to turn our world upside-down. It's hard to imagine a time without Theo. I mean, I remember it and sometimes I miss it, but I couldn't imagine tomorrow without him. You know? 

He's three months old tomorrow. Seriously. Last year I had an 8-cell embryo that I was hoping would stick around and this year I have a three month old. I wish I could tell the last year S. to relax - next year you'll be crazy in an entirely different way. 

Amazing. 

Just trying something

We bought this flip video camcorder awhile back but I hadn't yet tried downloading to blogger. Here's Theo in his swing - yes, I know, not very exciting. Just trying it out. I hope it works, this camera is pretty cool. Cheap and easy. Not high-quaility but good for catching little baby moments. 

changes

Change #1

I'm learning how to become a stay-at-home-mom. In the last few days we have gone to infant massage class (not relaxing), gone for a walk with a parents group I've joined, and had an adult- with-child playdate with friends we made in birthing class. We've entered a whole new world. Strange. But comforting. 3 weeks left - I still want to go back to work.

Change #2

I think Theo may finally be rejecting my slow, low-supply breasts. We've had an OK time with our breastfeeding/formula-feeding routine. He gets both. First the boobs - then a 4oz. bottle. Nutrition and comfort, followed by sustenance. In the last week he just pulls off from the boob, sometimes he cries or screams. I don't want to force it but...I want to force it. Not quite ready to give it up. My goal was 3 months and we made it to that, but now I want to make it to 6 months. Lofty, huh? I've really given this breastfeeding thing my all - it's still a disapointment to me but I feel like I overcame it.  Any hints on how to keep him going? I do have some frozen to give in a bottle for the next month or two.

Change #3

The season. It's beautiful here right now. Here he is 'enjoying' it. 

It's National Coming Out Day tomorrow, although I now understand that when you have a child together, you and your same-sex partner must come out in one way or another pretty much every day. I'm running the Gay-Straight Alliance at my school while my good friend and co-worker is on maternity leave (she and her wife had their son in the beginning of Sept.), and we celebrated today by having the kids pass out rainbow ribbons to everyone--and I mean everyone. These kids were undaunted, giving them out to students, teachers, paraprofessionals, staff, and administrators. And, I'm happy to report--most of the adults wore them.

We did have one incident where a teacher (yes, another "educator") told a student, when asked if she'd like a ribbon: "No. I don't believe that should be promoted at school." I have informed my friendly Title IX coordinator and I believe they've had a little chat about that already.

I was so proud of my kids--one even got on the morning announcements (which is on camera, mind you) and said "I'm Gay!" and proceeded to talk about how much casual insults can really hurt. He told me later that when he returned to his class, they gave him a standing ovation.

Making tiny ripples in the system makes me happy.

So does this!

Boring Snoring

So last week I said, damn, this blog has sure gotten boring...but S. responded in a way that surprised me. She said "Good. I like it that way."

Then we looked back to our posts from a year ago, when we were getting ready to start our IVF cycle after 14 failed inseminations. So yeah, I think in comparison, I'll take a boring blog.

I'll leave you with a boring picture or two. Yes, we love torturing our child. We were trying to get a good picture for a Holiday card, and then made him pose in some homemade sweaters (and a pumpkin his uncle picked out just for him while it was growing this summer in the pumpkin patch!).

Big Boy

This is a kid we were worrying wasn't gaining enough? Yikes.

He officially weighs in at 13.6 - 90th percentile. 

His height is 23 1/2 - 75th percentile.

Head circumference is 40cm - 50th percentile.

Cuteness is 100th percentile.

My mom purports that 13lbs. is the magic number. The amount they weigh when they calm down, stop crying and relax into being a sweet baby. Maybe we're getting there. Maybe. It's hard to tell with him. Just as I think things are getting easier, he has a crappy day. So, no promises, but I think we're still headed in the right direction. As we speak, he's hanging out on my bed just talking to himself. 

Travels with Baby

Well, it's officially no more fun to travel. We went on a Philadelphia/NYC excursion this past weekend--to Philly for the wedding of a dear friend, to NYC to stay along the way to break up the drive. I think it may have been tolerable to travel with a two-month old had we not had to unpack and then re-pack the car a total of three times in three days. S. and I had one suitcase for all of our stuff, plus another bag to carry into our friend's apt. in NY so we wouldn't have to haul said suitcase all the way up the stairs. Theo had his mitts into every single piece of luggage we packed, plus a bag that was all his very own, plus the co-sleeper. Oh yeah, and the breast pump. And the diaper bag. Needless to say, we used disposable diapers this weekend!

All in all, though, Theo was on his best behavior. He was mostly very good during the wedding, though he did have to be carried off by Stacey during the actual ceremony because he was screaming (S. had to do a reading and I was a bridesmaid). Other than that he was good. He slept great in his co-sleeper in the hotel and in the apartment, so that is nice to know about him. The maid-of-honor actually set up her pack-and-play in the hotel bathroom to make sure her 10-month old stayed asleep--craziness!

Here are some shots of our BIG two-month old boy. The one down below is with our other friend S.'s boy L. who just turned one in August! Check out that awesome hair (L's, not Theo's!)!!

These are the handknit/sewn/crocheted gifts we've received for Theo. It seems they deserved a special place in the blog. As knitters, we know just how much works goes into a blanket or sweater. 

The grey and tan blankets were crocheted by mom, the pinkish one by my good MHC friend, Liz. The tan sweater was crocheted by my mom (because who doesn't need a sweater to match your blanket). The off-white one by my cousin, new to knitting.  And the grey one was knit by Stacey (our doula) to match her boyfriends sweater. I can't wait to see them together this fall. The quilt on the crib was also made by Stacey. She's amazing, huh? Knitting, sewing, AND catching babies. The bumpers on the crib were sewn by C.'s mom, a very talented seamstress. Below is Theo in a handknit bib by another MHC friend. 

And there you go...home grown love for little Theo. 

Well, it's that day again. On that day, I was certainly not thinking that seven years in the future I would be married and have a child and not live in NYC anymore. But here I am. I'm not going to talk about this day. There's plenty said by others and more eloquently. I'll only quietly reflect like many of you are doing, I'm sure. One thing I will say though--it scares me slightly that my son was born under this event's shadow. And I can only hope his generation gets us out from underneath it.

Back to business now--Theo still screams. A lot. There are bad days and then there are slightly better days. Tuesday he screamed so much that the poor kid is actually starting to lose his voice. Growth spurt? Tummy ache? We really don't even know where to begin, so I'm throwing in the towel and bringing him to the doctor tomorrow morning. I'm not an over-reactive medical type of person--but when a baby does nothing but scream, even after eating, even I know something is kind of wrong.

But he is growing--and how! Here's a rare glimpse at Theo smiling, then fascinated with his favorite new friend--the black and white dog we like to call Bingo. Yes, we broke down and bought one of those crazy florescent play mats with the dangly things. He just loves them, so what can we do but acquiesce?

Updates and whatnot

Well, Mr. Theo has pretty much been dominating our lives for the past week and a half, as you could probably tell by our severe lack of posts. After S.'s initial shock at being left home along with a screaming infant all day, Theo seemed to have possibly turned a corner--he was actually pretty good for two whole weekends--in a row! But you parents know how it goes. The best laid plans...yeah. Today, fuss. Nonstop, apparently. Now, of course I'm at school all day so I dodge this until I come home, then I take over fussy baby duty, to a certain extent, to give S. some downtime. At least that's the ideal. Right now, I have actually managed to lull him to sleep with his sleep machine. (This is a must-have for our fussy baby and will now be our go-to shower gift for moms-to-be!) I actually feel sort of guilty for using it during the day, which seems a little weird. I mean, he doesn't know what time it is, really, not yet. I just hope he isn't actually more in-tuned to our nighttime routine than I know and now he's going to sleep for the next four hours and make S.'s night miserable. Ugh.

Other than that, I have to say he's been mostly pretty good (with the exception of today) this whole week. Of course I was around a lot. No work Monday, and we took Theo to his pediatric urology appointment Tuesday so I didn't go then either. His hydronephrosis is really mild, but still needs to be watched, basically--another ultrasound and consultation in four months' time. Hopefully it will disappear by the time he's one.

Oh yeah, and he's an official member of the pork-pie club, weighing in at 11.2 pounds. He's chubbing up at last!