When the insurance company says your car is "totalled," it stands for "total loss"--as in, there is absolutely nothing salvagable about your car. We just totalled $500 worth of sperm. It went crashing into S.'s not-so-open (apparently) cervix and was destroyed. Now S.'s cycle is basically unsalvagable.
At least, that's how I'm feeling right now. I know I was kind of lighthearted about it before, but this morning the fertility monitor got a peak reading--meaning, S. is about 24-48 hrs. away from her LH surge. Obviously, the swimmers we injected Thursday night are long-gone and have zero chance for survival until S. ovulates.
I just feel so pissed off! I knew this would happen-it's really just our luck. Why couldn't S.'s body have held off getting her peak reading until tomorrow--at least then, we could have ordered sperm and had them on our doorstep by Tuesday with enough time to insem. ::sigh:: I have some cervix investigating to do, because I swear there was more fertile mucus last Thurs. than there is now. WTF? I'm so confused by S.'s cycles, as is S., that I just can't wait to get back to the dr.'s office, where they can monitor the little egg follicle so we know when that baby's about to drop. I feel kind of like a failure for feeling that way--and not being positive about doing it at home---but for us specifically, this is just a better way. More power to those couples who attempt and succeed at home-I have the utmost respect for you, especially now that we've tried (and failed) twice!
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Don't completely count yourself out yet. Really, people tend to get pregnant on the "no way in hell it worked this time" cycle with alarming frequency.
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