Testaphobic

We really could have taken a pregnancy test any time since yesterday. Like, today. But, we didn't. We chickened out. S. chickened out. We bought new ones and everything. So now, I am going to be the one responsible for delivering the news, as tomorrow marks two weeks from the embryo transfer. So, in she goes for a blood test. She left a rambling message on the IVF nurses' voicemail about not calling her, but calling me. So, come lunch tomorrow, I guess I'll know. And then I'll have to carry that with me through the day--whatever it is--and then tell S. when I come home. I'm thinking I'll probably wait until 2:10 comes, because if it's negative, I won't be able to survive my 6th period class without freaking out on them. And maybe wouldn't be able to if it were good news either.

I am so nervous...

How sweet it is!

Embryo-A-Go-Go Red Sox!

Sorry for the "before and after"-style post title. I just am so excited about many things right now. First and foremost of course is that little white dot on the ultrasound screen that we saw Sunday morning and was, in fact, an actual, fertilized embryo, sitting right there in S.'s uterus. A-ma-zing. For me, it was very comforting that a.) our R.E. did the procedure and also happens to be very pregnant right now and b.) was listening to the Rolling Stones during the procedure. I doubt S. noticed this, as she was far too busy feeling uncomfortable/in pain, but I thought it was a nice touch.

Then there's our Red Sox--off to the World Series again!! Ahh! Red Sox Nation is, for those of you not in the know, an insane group of crazy Boston fans who just love these guys and this team and all the mayhem that ensues when they win. I love baseball, love the Sox, and we'll be sitting in our living room rooting for them Wednesday night. And hopefully the littlest Red Sox fan in the room will be rooting along with us.

Pregnant until proven otherwise??

The deed is done. 1 top-grade 8-cell embryo is now busy burrowing into the lining of my uterus. It's possible that I've never gotten this far - embryo inside and all, so it feels good.

It was pretty tough. I'm glad C. came into the OR with me (scrubs on!) and it didn't last too long. I was VERY uncomfortable. Full bladder, Large speculum, Long catheter. I took the Valium, but I have to say, it didn't help much. There is just NO relaxing under these circumstances - at least not for me. Why this isn't done under anesthesia is beyond me. Not to mention, I have a bladder infection from the ER, so peeing afterward was sooo painful. It will all be worth it. The tww is on. Blood test on Nov. 1st.

4 top grade 8 cell embryos were frozen for the future and 2 others are continuing to be cultured until the blast stage and then they will be frozen as well. Everyone, including my Dr. seemed pretty pleased about the whole thing.

Little growing jack-o-lanterns

I feel like those eggs are a ticking time bomb--will they fertilize? Will they keep growing? Will they have something to implant on day 3 or day 5? We did get a call today that out of the 20 eggs, 15 were mature. Out of those 15, 7 fertilized. I think it's good, S. thinks it's just "o.k." We need at least 6 eggs to make it to day 3 to be considered for a day 5 transfer, which we would really prefer. But obviously whatever they tell us to do, we will.

So I filled the valium prescription. At least we have it, and S. can make the decision to take it or not before we go in for the transfer. Thank you so much for all your input -- we felt a little clueless and lost, and now feel much more informed. S. is feeling wonky still--sore, and not up for walking too much. We head to New Hampshire tomorrow for the Keene Pumpkin Festival, which should be able to distract us with pumpkin yumminess and thousands upon thousands of illuminated jack-o-lanterns!

Eggy Update

Egg retrieval - check! They retrieved 20 eggs, more than expected, this morning. Tomorrow we'll get a report on how they are fertilizing, and then wait for either a day 3 or day 5 transfer (Sunday or Tuesday). S. is feeling quite wonky from the anesthesia, but she's hydrated and fed, and napping peacefully right now. I think she's glad it's all over with and looking forward to the hard part--implantation.

A note of concern: they want S. to take 5mg of valium before the procedure. She does not want to do this and is afraid of a bad reaction, but they insist it's not just for mental relaxation, but as a muscle relaxer as they use a fairly LARGE speculum to get in there and place it precisely, and need her to not move at all. Why they don't just put you under if they don't want you to move, we're not sure. Any advice/anecdotes on this? They are really pushing us to take it.

Thanks again for all your well-wishes. We still have a far way to go, though! Ahh! But a great start, for sure.

return to sender

I want you to be sending your karma, prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts, and healthy energy to the right address. We'll be needing them. I hate to beg....but please...please...let this work for me.

Thursday at 10am we will be retrieving under anesthesia. We needed the extra day to finish growing/maturing upwards of 20 eggs (only about 14 look like they will be ready to go). Tonight at 10pm, hcg shot. Another day of achy ovaries and then we're on for Thursday. I'm freaking. My yoga instructor gave me some great breathing exercises and womb-happy poses today.

-s

the best laid plans...

We had an ultrasound and bloodwork done yesterday. It was our first peek into the work of Mixmaster C. We had a total of 14 follicles. 9 on the right ovary (though I'm not totally clear if these are all of a size that will allow harvesting) and 5 on the left (all of which are a good size for potential harvesting and a few small ones that probably won't catch up). I've watched this play out many times before - thanks to your blogs - this does NOT mean they will harvest 14 eggs. Who knows how many will actually mature, but, that said, I'm feeling OK about 14. My body did her job in a satisfactory manner.

I am feeling vaguely sore on the right side and can imagine how this is going to get uncomfortable. We are aiming for HCG shot Monday night and possible Egg Retrieval on Wednesday. This, of course, will be confirmed or changed by the u/s tomorrow morning.

Question - if ER is Wed., what day is a Day 3 transfer? Day 5? Do I count the day of ER as day 1? I will ask the Dr. tomorrow, but I thought with all the experts around here I could start planning my insane work week. Thank goodness first graders bounce back, they are going to be thrown for a loop this week. Thankfully, I planned 'easy' knowing there would be a sub at least twice....

Mixmaster C

So we started our stims nearly a week early. This is great news, actually--now the egg harvesting and implantation won't interfere with S.'s parent conferences. The scary thing is we had to come home from our doc's appt. Monday ready to mix up all the drugs that night--just when I was getting the hang of preparing the Lupr*n shots. Our doc's office does have us do something that is pretty cool--mix all of the stims into one bottle. So, I combine Men*pur with the Lupr*n and G*nal F, then suck it all up into one massive shot. (Is this common? I have no clue.) That's the scariest part: seeing all that liquid streaming into S.'s belly.

She feels good so far--of course, it's only been two nights. She swears she feels her follicles growing. She usually does--and that's when she's only producing two or three! Needless to say, we went out and bought some very stretchy pants for her to wear to work this week. So just call me mixmaster C--I am feeling very accomplished, considering when I first played with a syringe I couldn't figure out how to work the darn thing!

Blood came. Ultrasound Monday (can you believe they're open on Columbus Day? Eh, Columbus was an ass anyway). Stims later on in the week. Let the out-of-control hormone rages begin!

I've never wanted my period to come so badly. think blood. then I can get the show on the road!