There's nothing like being around my cousin to make me think about parenting styles. Let me preface by saying we are over what happened at Easter. We've lost our grandmother since, our mothers are super-close, it's important to let bygones be bygones. I do love her. But.
It. is. so. damn. frustrating. to. be. around. her. I just don't get when people don't think about their parenting. The consequences, the modeling, the morals to instill, the praise and encouragement to bestow. I am not saying I am perfect, nor am I saying that my way is better than your way, though I guess when it comes right down to it, I am judging - I can't help it. She commented on how she can't understand how her daughter doesn't understand not to play with the toothpaste, even though she has been spanked 10 times for it. Um, hello, spanking is not then working. Try something new. MOVE the toothpaste. She's questioning vaccines, as her oldest was diagnosed autistic, as she takes a huge drag of her cigarette. Time after time, thing after thing.
I guess it's because I surround myself with people who do make good conscious decisions, and think about the impact of their actions. I just am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that not everyone does. Educate yourselves, mothers! Read about vaccines, and food ingredients, and discipline models, and child development, and parenting styles, and plastics, and "screen time", and developmentally appropriate toys. The information is all out there. It's not hard to find. Educate yourself and make the best decision for your family.
I'm feeling a little "high and mighty" as I reread the post. Questioned deleting it, but I'm gonna put it out there even though it's all still a-ramblin' around in my head and not yet quite making sense.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Time Flies
Well, the crazy week has come to a close, thank gaawwwwwd. We are pooped. Our house is a wreck. There have been diapers in my washing machine since Wednesday (they're clean, though, I swear) and dishes still piled in the sink (but I did run the dishwasher tonight!). We were invited to S.'s parents house to help clean up for Thanksgiving, but instead got sucked into watching the longest move I've seen since one of the "Lord of the Rings" flicks--"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." It was a beautiful movie, but jeesh, 2 hours and 46 minutes? We paused at least 3 times for various break activities (bathrooms, snacks, etc.). Not exactly how I pictured winding down today, but besides my sloppy house, I finally feel some sense of relief. Next week will be easy, only 2 1/2 days for me, 2 for S., then happy holidays with family.
We love Thanksgiving---it's not religiously affiliated, there are no gifts involved, there is food and cooking involved, and it sends a good message. What's not to like?
Plus, as S. pointed out, one gets to start listening to Christmas music and/or watching Christmas flicks. I kind of disagree with her on this, but we have for the past few years done the "let's get up at 4 in the morning and go shopping!" thing. I am proud to say each year we come home a little earlier. I think last year we were in by 7:30 a.m.! Woot! This year will be slightly abbreviated, what with Theo on a more regular sleep schedule. For the life of us, we can't remember what we did with Theo last year when we did our crazy morning dash--was he sleeping in the carrier? Probably. He didn't have quite as precarious a sleep schedule at that time I guess. Or...did we go AT ALL?! Sadly, we cannot remember. The past year has been a bit of a blur. If not for hundreds upon hundreds (must be close to a thousand at least) of pictures and this blog, the year might have been lost!
We love Thanksgiving---it's not religiously affiliated, there are no gifts involved, there is food and cooking involved, and it sends a good message. What's not to like?
Plus, as S. pointed out, one gets to start listening to Christmas music and/or watching Christmas flicks. I kind of disagree with her on this, but we have for the past few years done the "let's get up at 4 in the morning and go shopping!" thing. I am proud to say each year we come home a little earlier. I think last year we were in by 7:30 a.m.! Woot! This year will be slightly abbreviated, what with Theo on a more regular sleep schedule. For the life of us, we can't remember what we did with Theo last year when we did our crazy morning dash--was he sleeping in the carrier? Probably. He didn't have quite as precarious a sleep schedule at that time I guess. Or...did we go AT ALL?! Sadly, we cannot remember. The past year has been a bit of a blur. If not for hundreds upon hundreds (must be close to a thousand at least) of pictures and this blog, the year might have been lost!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Well, I started cycling again and made an appointment with my RE to talk about what comes next. Unfortuately, I can't just show up with a canister of swimmers and hope a nurse will take me--I have to actually have an official "change of treatment" and then act accordingly. so--we'll see. I am also going to call our midwives' office to see if I could possibly do it with them instead. It's a little trickier with them, since they have no storage and no imaging facilities (so no follicular monitoring). The plus side is that they can pretty much meet you any time to do the deed, whereas at our clinic, the schedule is a little more strict.
Fortunately, my RE appt. isn't until January, so we have some time to ponder. Then there's obviously the costs...will insurance cover our insems? Will they charge us for a mere office visit, or for god knows what else? Meh. I hate that money somehow ends up playing into ttc decisions.
I'm pooped, by the way. Conferences, as S. mentioned previously. And Theo. Oh! Poor Theo! I weep for his tender gums.
--cd
Fortunately, my RE appt. isn't until January, so we have some time to ponder. Then there's obviously the costs...will insurance cover our insems? Will they charge us for a mere office visit, or for god knows what else? Meh. I hate that money somehow ends up playing into ttc decisions.
I'm pooped, by the way. Conferences, as S. mentioned previously. And Theo. Oh! Poor Theo! I weep for his tender gums.
--cd
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I just cannot adequately express the craziness of this day, and the fogginess in which I lived it.
Run down: Dress/feed/ready Theo, drop off Theo early, faculty meeting, school day!, grad class, dinner at parents house, and now I need to grade my student teacher. Fit in some important phone calls to my health insurance company and hairdresser. The evening was sans C. who is still at conference night. Tomorrow is an observation of and meeting with said student teacher and math training in the afternoon. And guess who didn't sleep well? Up from 1-2am last night. When will those molars make their appearance?
We tried to put him in our bed when he was crying and inconsolable, and it was the cutest, most hysterical thing, even at 1am. Even though he was half-asleep, he kept looking at us, and putting his head on our pillows and then sitting up and looking around. It was like he didn't know what to do! Co-sleeping just doesn't work for him. We had to put him back, because he just wouldn't settle in.
Oh yeah and I have a sore throat. Talk about a b1tch-fest this week!
Run down: Dress/feed/ready Theo, drop off Theo early, faculty meeting, school day!, grad class, dinner at parents house, and now I need to grade my student teacher. Fit in some important phone calls to my health insurance company and hairdresser. The evening was sans C. who is still at conference night. Tomorrow is an observation of and meeting with said student teacher and math training in the afternoon. And guess who didn't sleep well? Up from 1-2am last night. When will those molars make their appearance?
We tried to put him in our bed when he was crying and inconsolable, and it was the cutest, most hysterical thing, even at 1am. Even though he was half-asleep, he kept looking at us, and putting his head on our pillows and then sitting up and looking around. It was like he didn't know what to do! Co-sleeping just doesn't work for him. We had to put him back, because he just wouldn't settle in.
Oh yeah and I have a sore throat. Talk about a b1tch-fest this week!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
School Days and Nights
S. just informed me that a picture post "doesn't count" as a post. I thought it was a clever way to get out of saying anything remotely intelligent myself.
We had a family picture taken today at S.'s school. One of the parents is a professional photographer and every year, does a fundraiser for the school's PTO. For $20, we got multiple shots of us with Theo and Theo alone. All the images are put onto a disk for us to do what we please with. I think this is probably our first "official" family portrait! Hopefully some shots turned out decent. Photographing Theo in a formal situation is, um..."challenging." It was an especially cranky afternoon for T., as there were other kids there with giant toy cars and ooooh boy, did Theo's face just light up when he saw them, and then oooooh boy, did he throw a fit when he couldn't have them.....somehow we made it through with at least a handful of good pics, we hope!
We both feel like this is hell week--we have something going on every single day after school. I have conferences until 9 at night tomorrow and Thurs. I'm sorry, but as a high school teacher, I feel resentful that I have three half-days and two 3-hour evenings of conferences. I'm pretty sure we're the only high school left on the planet who does this intense a conference schedule. I would much rather be home with my loves and wearing my ugly, old red sweatpants that S. finds offensive. (Like I care---they are oh-so very fuzzy and comfy!)
S. has just decided I would have been better off posting a picture. HA! That's what you get when you don't let me have my way!
We had a family picture taken today at S.'s school. One of the parents is a professional photographer and every year, does a fundraiser for the school's PTO. For $20, we got multiple shots of us with Theo and Theo alone. All the images are put onto a disk for us to do what we please with. I think this is probably our first "official" family portrait! Hopefully some shots turned out decent. Photographing Theo in a formal situation is, um..."challenging." It was an especially cranky afternoon for T., as there were other kids there with giant toy cars and ooooh boy, did Theo's face just light up when he saw them, and then oooooh boy, did he throw a fit when he couldn't have them.....somehow we made it through with at least a handful of good pics, we hope!
We both feel like this is hell week--we have something going on every single day after school. I have conferences until 9 at night tomorrow and Thurs. I'm sorry, but as a high school teacher, I feel resentful that I have three half-days and two 3-hour evenings of conferences. I'm pretty sure we're the only high school left on the planet who does this intense a conference schedule. I would much rather be home with my loves and wearing my ugly, old red sweatpants that S. finds offensive. (Like I care---they are oh-so very fuzzy and comfy!)
S. has just decided I would have been better off posting a picture. HA! That's what you get when you don't let me have my way!
Monday, November 16, 2009
I think this is the funniest thing ever. Both my father and my mother call, independently of one another, to ask about how gymnastics was for Theo today. Why do they even remember that he had it today? MY parents, who are kinda anti-baby in a weird way. I always worried that they wouldn't really "like" my kid. I know they "love" him, but they are kind of hands-off when it comes to people and feelings. And here they are worried that he's getting in trouble at gymnastics class. hahaha.
And no, he was not good. He likes it, and the teachers are okay with it, but he doesn't really do what they tell him to. He wants to sit in the damn ball pit. He wants to run around like a maniac, he doesn't want to jump over the foam, he walks around it instead. Oh well, I just want him to be around other kids and do things we don't do at home. And maybe he'll learn to sit at circle time later.
My mothers last comment to me was "...but they don't scold him, right?" Now, that's love.
-sp (Remember I said, we would start signing our posts??)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Oh man, I almost went to bed without blogging! That would have been a tragedy seeing as we've now hit the half-way mark of NaBloPoMo . I'd hate to be the one to screw it all up now!
Today we did mundane home things, such as laundry, cleaning, making more to-do lists, and traveling to a flooring store to try and pick out new flooring for our kitchen. Our kitchen floor is..well..it sucks. It's industrial tiles, which means they need special cleaner. It is a multi-hour process to really clean our floor, and just mopping it never makes it look quite the same, so we're ready to call our floor quits. We're thinking cork, but it's kind of expensive. Our kitchen is really, really small, but it would still cost nearly $800 to cover it with the cork we've found. Yikes!
Should we go old-school and do linoleum? It's green (as in environmentally friendly) and comes in cool colors! No bamboo for sure, though--too soft, scratches too easily. The way Theo throws crap out of our cabinets, we need something very durable. Oh yeah, and easy to clean. And hides dirty and splishy-splashy kitchen messy stains.
What's on YOUR kitchen floor??
Today we did mundane home things, such as laundry, cleaning, making more to-do lists, and traveling to a flooring store to try and pick out new flooring for our kitchen. Our kitchen floor is..well..it sucks. It's industrial tiles, which means they need special cleaner. It is a multi-hour process to really clean our floor, and just mopping it never makes it look quite the same, so we're ready to call our floor quits. We're thinking cork, but it's kind of expensive. Our kitchen is really, really small, but it would still cost nearly $800 to cover it with the cork we've found. Yikes!
Should we go old-school and do linoleum? It's green (as in environmentally friendly) and comes in cool colors! No bamboo for sure, though--too soft, scratches too easily. The way Theo throws crap out of our cabinets, we need something very durable. Oh yeah, and easy to clean. And hides dirty and splishy-splashy kitchen messy stains.
What's on YOUR kitchen floor??
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Theo knew his mamas were having a hard time with the quantity and quality of this here blog. So, he took matters into his own hands.
Today we spent the day at the local Children's Museum. Mama had an quiz team tournament (dork!) and my parents were out of town, so Theo and I were all on our own. Usually I hate all alone days, but we had a great day! He slept in until 8:30, ate breakfast, went to the museum and ran wild with our babysitter and her children. He didn't necessarily "get" all the exhibits but there were plenty of things to play with. He LOVED this laptop and the train table. We came home and ate lunch, and he took a three hour nap! And he didn't even poop until Mama got home. What did I do to deserve such a good baby?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Random Reader Responses
Oooh, fun questions...thank you thank you thank YOU, readers, for saving our asses from complete obsolescence this evening.
I would like to address a couple of fun reader comments. This one is my favorite:
Did you put pictures of celebrities on your walls when you were younger?
YES! This so embarrassing, but I had my wall plastered with teen boy stars like Edward Furlong, Jonathan Brandis, and some others that have fallen into obscurity. (I think Jonathan Brandis committed suicide a few years ago. Furlong shows up in reruns of Terminator 2:Judgement Day.) That sort of progressed into my music-obsessed teenaged self, so those pictures were soon replaced by my fav high school bands--radiohead, smashing pumpkins, tori amos, nine inch nails, nirvana...did you ever have those HUGE, GINORMOUS posters? I had like, 4 of those on my wall--two smashing pumpkins, one tori amos, and one beatles. I would say my musical tastes have expanded greatly, but I still turn to that music when I'm feeling blue and need a little jolt.
Thoughts on Western Mass (for Mutti):
I love it here and if I had to leave NYC for anywhere, it was going to be for somewhere we love. There is everything..arts, culture, restaurants, the great outdoors, a generally liberal population, kid-friendly places--plus real estate here is way cheaper than in Eastern Mass, and there is no crazy city-traffic like in the Boston suburbs (where I grew up).
I would like to address a couple of fun reader comments. This one is my favorite:
Did you put pictures of celebrities on your walls when you were younger?
YES! This so embarrassing, but I had my wall plastered with teen boy stars like Edward Furlong, Jonathan Brandis, and some others that have fallen into obscurity. (I think Jonathan Brandis committed suicide a few years ago. Furlong shows up in reruns of Terminator 2:Judgement Day.) That sort of progressed into my music-obsessed teenaged self, so those pictures were soon replaced by my fav high school bands--radiohead, smashing pumpkins, tori amos, nine inch nails, nirvana...did you ever have those HUGE, GINORMOUS posters? I had like, 4 of those on my wall--two smashing pumpkins, one tori amos, and one beatles. I would say my musical tastes have expanded greatly, but I still turn to that music when I'm feeling blue and need a little jolt.
Thoughts on Western Mass (for Mutti):
I love it here and if I had to leave NYC for anywhere, it was going to be for somewhere we love. There is everything..arts, culture, restaurants, the great outdoors, a generally liberal population, kid-friendly places--plus real estate here is way cheaper than in Eastern Mass, and there is no crazy city-traffic like in the Boston suburbs (where I grew up).
Thursday, November 12, 2009
h-e-l-p
OMG, our lives are boring! Besides work, home and Theo - nothing. I've got nothin'. No vacations coming, no exciting news, no ttc, no gardening or yardworking, no big work problems, no family crap, no events, nothin'! Blogging everyday sucks. Boring and uninteresting - that's me. I generally like boring - I've got no problem with living a stress-free, drama-free, quiet little life.
Throw us a line. Any questions? Anything you're dying to know about? Here's your chance to question our parenting, find out about our homelife, and get nosey. please. I've never asked for commenters to delurk or participate, so here it is. Desperation.
Throw us a line. Any questions? Anything you're dying to know about? Here's your chance to question our parenting, find out about our homelife, and get nosey. please. I've never asked for commenters to delurk or participate, so here it is. Desperation.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Okay, I've just started and then deleted 2 blog entries. My brain is non-functional. The day off, which I have to say I was feeling like I badly needed, seems to have drained me.
Seriously. I just wrote another sentence then deleted it.
I'm watching Brothers and Sisters on TiVo. Hey, we're a Nielson Family now! Yes, we somehow determine what does and does not get ratings. In fact, we had to do a "tv diary" last week, and it had exactly 5 entries in it for the week. S. wouldn't let me stop on anything she deemed "embarrassing" for more than 5 minutes because she didn't want the Nielson people to know we watching anything, you know...embarrassing.
I will also mention that this particular episode of "Brothers and Sisters" we are watching is from last January. We have entire seasons of shows in waiting. So, no spoilers please.
Seriously. I just wrote another sentence then deleted it.
I'm watching Brothers and Sisters on TiVo. Hey, we're a Nielson Family now! Yes, we somehow determine what does and does not get ratings. In fact, we had to do a "tv diary" last week, and it had exactly 5 entries in it for the week. S. wouldn't let me stop on anything she deemed "embarrassing" for more than 5 minutes because she didn't want the Nielson people to know we watching anything, you know...embarrassing.
I will also mention that this particular episode of "Brothers and Sisters" we are watching is from last January. We have entire seasons of shows in waiting. So, no spoilers please.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
First and foremost, what the heck happened to my sleeper? He's waking at night, waking at earlier times in the morning, and NO NAP today. Think it could be the teeth? What's going on in there? Growth spurt? Learning explosions? No LIKEY. Help? Experiences?
Glad to be back from my "business trip"/ teacher conference. Besides learning enough about common assessments and best practice to make my head explode, we ate great food, drank plenty of wine and enjoyed our two days away from our classrooms. I'm full of teacher jargon and feel re-energized about some First Grade things.
Mostly, I couldn't wait to get home and squeeze my little guy. I have to say though - he wasn't much fazed by the comings and goings of his mommy. He didn't plan a very exciting welcome home extravaganza. I hope it's just developmental or even personality, and not a lack of attachment. It's hard to tell if he prefers me over other people. It's kind of frustrating after you push a human out of you to wonder whether he even registers you as special! Sad, but true.
Glad to be back from my "business trip"/ teacher conference. Besides learning enough about common assessments and best practice to make my head explode, we ate great food, drank plenty of wine and enjoyed our two days away from our classrooms. I'm full of teacher jargon and feel re-energized about some First Grade things.
Mostly, I couldn't wait to get home and squeeze my little guy. I have to say though - he wasn't much fazed by the comings and goings of his mommy. He didn't plan a very exciting welcome home extravaganza. I hope it's just developmental or even personality, and not a lack of attachment. It's hard to tell if he prefers me over other people. It's kind of frustrating after you push a human out of you to wonder whether he even registers you as special! Sad, but true.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Monday Musings
I have to say, I am finding these daily blog posts quite liberating after a day of dealing with surly teenagers and solo-parenting. S. is on a "business trip," as she likes to call it, but since we're educators, I reminded her that she is actually at a "conference" out in Boston with some of her favorite co-workers. Lucky her getting to spend the night in a nice hotel with a balcony and then go to an awesome dinner. Theo and I didn't make out too bad, though, I have to say. I think I did pretty good my first single mom night. Let me tell you, though, I am not cut out for 1.) stay at home momming or 2.) single parenting. Nuh-uh, no way. Maybe if I had always been a single parent it wouldn't be so shocking, but seriously, taking care of that kid solo is a huge job. Every time I am alone for a long time with Theo, I feel blessed to have S. as my parenting partner, and wowed and amazed at the job single mothers do everyday of their lives. I don't know that I would have the fortitude to do the job. But, as a mother, I get that you do what you have to for the sake of your children.
Okay, on to the next topic...I happened to catch the House of Representatives on CSPAN just as they passed the Health Care Bill on Saturday night. I am consistently amazed at the atmosphere of these voting sessions. Seriously, it looks like they're having a freaking cocktail party. Hugging, shaking hands, chatting. Hello people! Don't you know our freaking futures are at risk here?? Anyway, S. berated me for not waking her up to see the historic moment. It really wasn't all that spectacular, let me tell you. She also accused me of making her miss multiple televised historic moments, as I also failed to wake her when Obama won last Nov. and he made his moving speech in Chicago. Sorry baby; next time a piece of landmark legislation passes and/or racial barriers are broken, I'll attempt to stir you!
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Geocaching!
We got a chance to partake in one of our favorite family hobbies today, as it was beautiful late fall day in western MA today! And no, it's not raking leaves, which is what we did in the morning during his blessed 2 1/2 hour nap. In the afternoon we went ge0caching! Never heard of it? Check it out! It's so much fun. It forces you outside to explore your own community, and leads you to things you've never seen and loads of junk toys/treasures. Plus it's a fun challenge. And all you need is a handheld gps (relatively inexpensive -$100 or so) and a set of coordinates with clues. We went with Theo in the Erg0, with my parents in tow - two towns away to a place where a man is entombed in a HUGE boulder in the middle of the woods. It was the craziest cache ever. We were two for two today bringing our total to 26 finds.
Here is a picture of Theo finding his first cache back in the spring!
Here is a picture of Theo finding his first cache back in the spring!
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Home again--it was great to come home to little T., who I'm pretty sure had the greatest time ever at his grandparents' house. He pretty much had no interest in us when we came back, but was quite delighted to return home to his room full of toys, and I think his special bedtime blankets and stuffed animals.
My spa day was delightful. If I were a woman of means, I am pretty sure I'd have weekly facials. If you are, or get them more often than once every 3 years, consider yourself lucky! It was swell. Happy Birthday to me! Thanks, baby! Greatest birthday weekend ever!
My spa day was delightful. If I were a woman of means, I am pretty sure I'd have weekly facials. If you are, or get them more often than once every 3 years, consider yourself lucky! It was swell. Happy Birthday to me! Thanks, baby! Greatest birthday weekend ever!
Friday, November 06, 2009
Dear 7 readers,
This is how dedicated we are to you. Instead of heading to the romantic wine bar after the C@tie Curtis show, we are at a cafe because it has free wireless where we can drink tea and head to bed. Yes, dedicated. Not, however, dedicated enough to pay the $10 for wireless at our swanky hotel. And, no, it's not because we're old fuddy-duddies who are really looking forward to the first night sans-Theo because of the uninterrupted quality of sleep we will get. That's just a perk.
Love, S and C
p.s. I hope Theo is not terrorizing his meme.
This is how dedicated we are to you. Instead of heading to the romantic wine bar after the C@tie Curtis show, we are at a cafe because it has free wireless where we can drink tea and head to bed. Yes, dedicated. Not, however, dedicated enough to pay the $10 for wireless at our swanky hotel. And, no, it's not because we're old fuddy-duddies who are really looking forward to the first night sans-Theo because of the uninterrupted quality of sleep we will get. That's just a perk.
Love, S and C
p.s. I hope Theo is not terrorizing his meme.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
This n' That
The pressure is already getting to me and it's only Day 5 of NaBloPoMo! Ahhhh!
Still we soldier on. I've just been challenged by S. to write another "deep" post. I really don't have deep in me. My deepness got all filled in today with irascible teenagers, swim class, and a high-maintenance baby-toddler who likes to destroy my kitchen while I'm in the middle of cooking dinner.
I guess I'll have to steal from S., who kindly called our Cryobank today to see what the deal with with our out-of-stock donor. From the sounds of it, he's probably going to stay that way, but we are going to reach out to their DSR and the DSR to see if anyone out there in the world has any unused vials. We're willing to wait a little while to see what happens. Then, if it doesn't, it doesn't and we move on to plan 42, or whatever version we're on at this point.
By the way, you have to pay for the freaking DSR now? $50? Seriously? That seems a little steep for something that might be completely useless. Oh well. Should we put our donor # up on our blog and see what happens? It doesn't feel quite right, but we know bloggers who have donor siblings who also have blogs, so I guess it's a remote possibility. Perhaps with the exception of known donors, I feel like most people keep that information pretty close. Or do they? Do you? How liberal are you with your donor information??
We're going away tomorrow night for my 30th birthday weekend (it was 2 months ago, but the weekend is happening around a concert that's going on in Northampton). We stay in the fancy hotel in town, see a show, and then Saturday I get a spa day. Ahhhh yes. Should be a lovely way to wind down the long week.
Still we soldier on. I've just been challenged by S. to write another "deep" post. I really don't have deep in me. My deepness got all filled in today with irascible teenagers, swim class, and a high-maintenance baby-toddler who likes to destroy my kitchen while I'm in the middle of cooking dinner.
I guess I'll have to steal from S., who kindly called our Cryobank today to see what the deal with with our out-of-stock donor. From the sounds of it, he's probably going to stay that way, but we are going to reach out to their DSR and the DSR to see if anyone out there in the world has any unused vials. We're willing to wait a little while to see what happens. Then, if it doesn't, it doesn't and we move on to plan 42, or whatever version we're on at this point.
By the way, you have to pay for the freaking DSR now? $50? Seriously? That seems a little steep for something that might be completely useless. Oh well. Should we put our donor # up on our blog and see what happens? It doesn't feel quite right, but we know bloggers who have donor siblings who also have blogs, so I guess it's a remote possibility. Perhaps with the exception of known donors, I feel like most people keep that information pretty close. Or do they? Do you? How liberal are you with your donor information??
We're going away tomorrow night for my 30th birthday weekend (it was 2 months ago, but the weekend is happening around a concert that's going on in Northampton). We stay in the fancy hotel in town, see a show, and then Saturday I get a spa day. Ahhhh yes. Should be a lovely way to wind down the long week.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
So C. can do all the wistful posts about our dearly departed and the thought-provoking post about why we blog and I will post all the silly sweet pictures of little Theo. I mean, seriously, who does not want see my little muffinman dressed up as a chicken for Halloween. We tooled around Main St. in his wagon for a bit and he was never the wiser about the whole candy scene.
What else is going on in his life? Well, he started a baby gymnastics class and LOVED it. He goes with our babysitter, but I'm dying to take a day off of work just to see him do it. He starts swimming tomorrow, which I know he already loves. Going by the terrible smell of his breath, I think he's getting some molars - slowly. He's spending his first overnight with meme (grandmother) next weekend - mama and I have a date. He was a flower boy in a NYC city hall wedding last weekend - which was my second favorite day of the whole year, after his birthday party. He had a terrible rash in which we had to go to the pedi, but it cleared up - it was hard to see him in so much pain. He has a true love of cars, trucks and anything with wheels. He meows and arfs and says 'dis' for 'this'. He loves to eat - A LOT. He loves brussell sprouts but not pasta. He runs away from us whenever he can. He is a mischief maker extraordinaire. He is such a love.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Why We Blog
We started this blog 3 1/2 years ago when we began ttc. It was started because, at the time, we didn't think there was "anyone else out there" going through this process. Hahahahaha...were we ever wrong. What we found in the process certainly has kept us going even after we've achieved our goal of conceiving and birthing a child. 3 1/2 years ago, we could never have imagined that:
-There were a whole mess of other women out there doing the same thing we were
-We would grow very attached to a bunch of random strangers across the country and world
-We would leave NYC to live in Western Mass
-We would have a little Theo
But here we are all these years later. We're still blogging because our journey has not yet come to an end. That, and I could not imagine just cutting out of my life the journey of all those others we have grown attached to.
Man am I sounding corny tonight. In all seriousness, though, blogging has brought us much needed sanity, information, piece of mind, and a general sense of belonging we do not always get in the outside world. All this by sharing intimately personal information with an internet full of strangers.
Why do you blog?
-There were a whole mess of other women out there doing the same thing we were
-We would grow very attached to a bunch of random strangers across the country and world
-We would leave NYC to live in Western Mass
-We would have a little Theo
But here we are all these years later. We're still blogging because our journey has not yet come to an end. That, and I could not imagine just cutting out of my life the journey of all those others we have grown attached to.
Man am I sounding corny tonight. In all seriousness, though, blogging has brought us much needed sanity, information, piece of mind, and a general sense of belonging we do not always get in the outside world. All this by sharing intimately personal information with an internet full of strangers.
Why do you blog?
Monday, November 02, 2009
Dia de los Muertos
Grampy worked his dream job ushering for the Boston Red Sox during spring training at their park in Ft. Myers, FL for nearly 15 years.
Grampy and Theo Memorial Day WeekendIn honor of the Day of the Dead, I thought I'd post some pictures of special people that we've lost over the past year. This past May, S. lost her grandmother who we called Meme, and in September I lost my grandfather, Grampy, to Pulmonary Fibrosis.
I'll let S. post about her own grandmother, but for me, I can say that my Grampy was at times cantankerous, but always had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and great stories about growing up in East Boston in the 1930's. Born in 1929, he worked a variety of jobs in his lifetime, mainly around cars and automotive repair. He became the first authorized dealer of Honda Motorcyles on the East Coast in the 1960's, selling them before anyone knew what the Honda brand was. When I asked him why he started selling Hondas, he told me that he saw some celebrity on the Johnny Carson show talk about toodling around Hollywood on a Honda, and he was instantly intrigued. He loved us grandchildren very, very much, and of my son, remarked, "That's quite a kid you've got there," which from him is one of the greatest compliments.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
I dreamed a dream
I have temporarily satiated my little sick doodle bug with banana chips so I have about two minutes to type up a blog entry. I think I'm ready to talk.
After getting the official news of my negative pregnancy, I purchased a bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and proceeded to eat about half the bag myself. (Yes, I am one of those. Thank goodness I haven't had to face much adversity in my life, because I'm pretty sure I'd be obese if I did.) I was pissed. I was angry. I was bewildered and infinitely sad. How could four perfectly good embryos not implant themselves successfully into my picture-perfect lining? It just seemed---unfair. Was this just the lot of my family---to have to jump over multiple hurdles and endure heartbreak after heartbreak before getting to baby? I would think once would be enough for any family to endure.
Alas, the heartbreak continues. Two mornings ago, in the foggy, vivid dreaming between snooze alarm hits, I dreamed I was three months pregnant. I was rubbing my belly. I was so happy. I did not want to wake up.
The fear behind trying again is that we do not have a Plan B for Baby B. Our frozen embryos from S.'s successful IVF cycle were our next and only plan. Our donor is "temporarily" unavailable, but who knows what that means. His specimens could be released tomorrow, or never. I am afraid to call the Bank to find out, because quite frankly, last time a representative was so rude to me that I ended up hanging up in tears. (I have to say this is an exception to the way we usually interact with this particular bank, but it was a bad one.)
So, now what?? IF....we cannot get the same donor, but still feel strongly about giving Theo a bio sibling, S. would have to give me her eggs, but according to our nurse, that is crazy expensive. If we do have the donor, do I then go through IUIs, or consider pouring the expense into again having S.'s eggs? We just don't know. I suppose the starting place is going to be our bank. It is highly likely that we are his only pregnancy, but as soon as we reported it to them, he "sold out." We never got the chance to stock up.
Jeesh, I sound like we went grocery shopping.
But seriously. I know we will figure this out, but mustering up the energy to do it seems impossible right now.
It's just not fair.
After getting the official news of my negative pregnancy, I purchased a bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and proceeded to eat about half the bag myself. (Yes, I am one of those. Thank goodness I haven't had to face much adversity in my life, because I'm pretty sure I'd be obese if I did.) I was pissed. I was angry. I was bewildered and infinitely sad. How could four perfectly good embryos not implant themselves successfully into my picture-perfect lining? It just seemed---unfair. Was this just the lot of my family---to have to jump over multiple hurdles and endure heartbreak after heartbreak before getting to baby? I would think once would be enough for any family to endure.
Alas, the heartbreak continues. Two mornings ago, in the foggy, vivid dreaming between snooze alarm hits, I dreamed I was three months pregnant. I was rubbing my belly. I was so happy. I did not want to wake up.
The fear behind trying again is that we do not have a Plan B for Baby B. Our frozen embryos from S.'s successful IVF cycle were our next and only plan. Our donor is "temporarily" unavailable, but who knows what that means. His specimens could be released tomorrow, or never. I am afraid to call the Bank to find out, because quite frankly, last time a representative was so rude to me that I ended up hanging up in tears. (I have to say this is an exception to the way we usually interact with this particular bank, but it was a bad one.)
So, now what?? IF....we cannot get the same donor, but still feel strongly about giving Theo a bio sibling, S. would have to give me her eggs, but according to our nurse, that is crazy expensive. If we do have the donor, do I then go through IUIs, or consider pouring the expense into again having S.'s eggs? We just don't know. I suppose the starting place is going to be our bank. It is highly likely that we are his only pregnancy, but as soon as we reported it to them, he "sold out." We never got the chance to stock up.
Jeesh, I sound like we went grocery shopping.
But seriously. I know we will figure this out, but mustering up the energy to do it seems impossible right now.
It's just not fair.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Pregnancy Fail
We're watching "Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami" (there is seriously nothing on t.v. I don't even know why we're watching this garbage) and watched Kourtney Kardashian pee on 8 sticks and get a pregnant every time. Oopsies!
It makes me kind of sick.
I peed on a stick Friday morning. One lone, single pink line. So not pregnant.
Blood test tomorrow morning but we already know the answer this time.
Now what?
It makes me kind of sick.
I peed on a stick Friday morning. One lone, single pink line. So not pregnant.
Blood test tomorrow morning but we already know the answer this time.
Now what?
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Shoe Dilemma Solved
I am nursing a killer shoulder right now--must have slept on it wrong (really, really wrong) last night because I can't turn my neck to look left! Yes, it's that bad. Hopefully some acupuncture treatment today will start kicking in soon.
So, since I was being the human pincushion this afternoon, S. took Theo to a kid's shoe store in town. The lady was apparently won-der-ful, a true whiz at measuring baby and kid feet. Much to our surprise, our little Theo's shoe size is officially (drum roll please): 6 extra-wide. Know what size the S.R. pair we had been jamming his feet into were? A 4!! No wonder the kid could barely walk in them. It's like when you get measured for a bra for-reals and you had been wearing a 36 C but you're actually a 40 EEE or something...So, there were only two pairs of that crazy size in the store, so S. settled on a nice pair of brown leather sneaker-type Stride Rites. I think they are from their "Sensory Response Technology" line. Cute, but the downside is they are tie, not velcro (boo).
I appreciate all the suggestions. We actually love the See Kai Runs. They fit his feet great--we had some sandals of theirs he wore all summer long. For some reason, though, we could not find any we really liked in our neck of the woods. Plus, I think he really needed his feet measured.
So, lesson learned. Bring your fat-footed kid to a shoe store, with people who actually know what they're talking about to help. Then drop more money on his shoes than you ever wold for yourself.
So, since I was being the human pincushion this afternoon, S. took Theo to a kid's shoe store in town. The lady was apparently won-der-ful, a true whiz at measuring baby and kid feet. Much to our surprise, our little Theo's shoe size is officially (drum roll please): 6 extra-wide. Know what size the S.R. pair we had been jamming his feet into were? A 4!! No wonder the kid could barely walk in them. It's like when you get measured for a bra for-reals and you had been wearing a 36 C but you're actually a 40 EEE or something...So, there were only two pairs of that crazy size in the store, so S. settled on a nice pair of brown leather sneaker-type Stride Rites. I think they are from their "Sensory Response Technology" line. Cute, but the downside is they are tie, not velcro (boo).
I appreciate all the suggestions. We actually love the See Kai Runs. They fit his feet great--we had some sandals of theirs he wore all summer long. For some reason, though, we could not find any we really liked in our neck of the woods. Plus, I think he really needed his feet measured.
So, lesson learned. Bring your fat-footed kid to a shoe store, with people who actually know what they're talking about to help. Then drop more money on his shoes than you ever wold for yourself.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Fat-footed girls (and boys) you make the rockin' world go 'round
Switching topics...I decided that wallowing in the tww is a drag, so..
I'm looking for advice from mamas with large babies. Our babe, though lovable, is a tad on the big side, especially in the feet area. They're pretty wide but, moreover, they are stacked. Like, little fat pockets. So fitting his tootsies into shoes has been challenging. So far, we've been able to only fit his feet into soft shoes (Bobux, Robeez, etc.). We tried jamming his foot into some Converse All-Star high-tops to no avail (his heels would just not get in there right!), and we have a pair of Stride Rite velcro jobs. Well, Sunday we put the S.R. pair on him and suddenly, he just started bawling. I mean, crying. We took him out of the stroller to let him walk around and burn off some steam, but he crumpled to a heap to the ground screaming. It was kind of scary, to be honest. Then his grandmother was like, take that kid's shoes off! And sure enough, he gradually calmed down. His feet must have fallen asleep all squished inside his sausage casing like that.
So, the question---what shoes to put on the now-walker's feet? Something ergonomically, podiatrically (not word, I know) correct. Brands, kinds, sizes? Anything non-smooshy please.
I'm looking for advice from mamas with large babies. Our babe, though lovable, is a tad on the big side, especially in the feet area. They're pretty wide but, moreover, they are stacked. Like, little fat pockets. So fitting his tootsies into shoes has been challenging. So far, we've been able to only fit his feet into soft shoes (Bobux, Robeez, etc.). We tried jamming his foot into some Converse All-Star high-tops to no avail (his heels would just not get in there right!), and we have a pair of Stride Rite velcro jobs. Well, Sunday we put the S.R. pair on him and suddenly, he just started bawling. I mean, crying. We took him out of the stroller to let him walk around and burn off some steam, but he crumpled to a heap to the ground screaming. It was kind of scary, to be honest. Then his grandmother was like, take that kid's shoes off! And sure enough, he gradually calmed down. His feet must have fallen asleep all squished inside his sausage casing like that.
So, the question---what shoes to put on the now-walker's feet? Something ergonomically, podiatrically (not word, I know) correct. Brands, kinds, sizes? Anything non-smooshy please.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
In the Still of the Night
After a day of fireworks down there on Friday, there has been much stillness in the ute. Of course, as I am typing this, I'm beginning to feel a mild something-or-other down there begin, but all weekend, it was pretty darn quiet. I think the time for implantation has passed, so I'm really hoping the the yo-yos decided to snuggle on down into my lovely triple-layer lining.
I keep thinking of what I will think about myself if this transfer doesn't do the job. Will it mean I am truly infertile, and there is something seriously wrong with me? Because think about it. I have now had 4 perfectly perfect, healthy embryos transferred into my body. I know it's only twice, but seriously---how could it not work if my reproductive system was working the way it is supposed to? S. got pregnant with one embryo, one time. (Yes, granted, this was after 14 failed insems, but still--the embryo went in, and Theo came out.)
I need to stop thinking about what a failure my uterus is because, really, hello, I am only halfway through the tww. I don't test until next Sunday. That's like, an entire week! So I am thinking winning thoughts, jobs well done. No symptoms be damned--stranger things have certainly happened.
I keep thinking of what I will think about myself if this transfer doesn't do the job. Will it mean I am truly infertile, and there is something seriously wrong with me? Because think about it. I have now had 4 perfectly perfect, healthy embryos transferred into my body. I know it's only twice, but seriously---how could it not work if my reproductive system was working the way it is supposed to? S. got pregnant with one embryo, one time. (Yes, granted, this was after 14 failed insems, but still--the embryo went in, and Theo came out.)
I need to stop thinking about what a failure my uterus is because, really, hello, I am only halfway through the tww. I don't test until next Sunday. That's like, an entire week! So I am thinking winning thoughts, jobs well done. No symptoms be damned--stranger things have certainly happened.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Post-transfer delirium
So since transfer day, which went very smoothly--both defrosted, both put back--I was on mandatory bed rest. Well, S. mandated I stay home from school an extra day and "lie down!" I tried--and I mostly succeeded. The idea of staying home in pjs and lying on the couch from the beginning of the day to the end sounds romantic, but in practice my busy mind is wandering to the many other places and things I could be doing at that moment--correcting papers; cooking; doing laundry; making the bed. I finally gave up and washed some diapers and compromised by plopping down in the unmade bed for an unexpected nap (I wasn't even tired when I went down, I swear!) that lasted 2 1/2 hours. Yikes.
Back to work today and things felt fine. I have to say I have been feeling some "twinges" and am hoping that's a good thing. More acupuncture today made me feel cleansed and mellow--hoping the cool, calm demeanor will rub off on my uterus.
No heavy lifting, no lawn mowing or kitty box scooping (yes!)--I'm barely picking up my own son. He's a heavy doodle these days, so I just let him walk everywhere and climb the stairs on his own and let S. lift him into things like high chairs and cribs.
2 days down, 9 to go.
Back to work today and things felt fine. I have to say I have been feeling some "twinges" and am hoping that's a good thing. More acupuncture today made me feel cleansed and mellow--hoping the cool, calm demeanor will rub off on my uterus.
No heavy lifting, no lawn mowing or kitty box scooping (yes!)--I'm barely picking up my own son. He's a heavy doodle these days, so I just let him walk everywhere and climb the stairs on his own and let S. lift him into things like high chairs and cribs.
2 days down, 9 to go.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Transfer the Second
We had Transfer #2 today--both frozen embryos thawed, both were put back. Yikes. Well, it was "yikes" last time and nothing much came of it, so we'll take our chances on yikes.
The lab tech, as she handed us our "certificate" of embryo thaw, said, "and that's it--you've cleaned out the freezer." No more chances. No more embryos (for now). That's that. It feels so--final. But...I had an acupuncture appointment immediately afterward to clear my body of rejection, hopefully, and make the uterus oh-so warm, fuzzy, and welcoming to the embryo guests who will hopefully be settling down for a long term visit.
And now....we wait. You know how it goes. I'm hoping the recent positives out there in lady-land rub off and mean good things for us over here. Everything's crossed on this one.
The lab tech, as she handed us our "certificate" of embryo thaw, said, "and that's it--you've cleaned out the freezer." No more chances. No more embryos (for now). That's that. It feels so--final. But...I had an acupuncture appointment immediately afterward to clear my body of rejection, hopefully, and make the uterus oh-so warm, fuzzy, and welcoming to the embryo guests who will hopefully be settling down for a long term visit.
And now....we wait. You know how it goes. I'm hoping the recent positives out there in lady-land rub off and mean good things for us over here. Everything's crossed on this one.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
An Elegy
"The Lake Isle of Innisfree"
by William Butler Yeats
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.
For my Grampy--Lake lover and dweller extraordinaire.
August 24, 1929 - September 19, 2009
Grampy and I at his house on Lake Winnepesaukee
by William Butler Yeats
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.
For my Grampy--Lake lover and dweller extraordinaire.
August 24, 1929 - September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Plea for (estrogen patch) Help
I'm sending some feelers out there in the lovely ttc/ivf world to see if anyone by chance has any estrogen patches with an imminent expiration date hanging around. Getting ready for transfer #2 and need the damn things that the clinic had previously been supplying to me free of charge. Who knew they cost $14 a pop? Without insurance covering anything, they are over $375 for a box of 40. Now, who the heck knows how long I'll need them for, and I sure as hell am not going to plop down that amount of cashish only to be not pregnant and not need them and out of the money to boot.
Soooo....I thought I'd try this. I'm going to buy enough to get me through the tww and a little beyond. But I know that we had a crapload leftover after S.'s IVF, and just let them expire. So, so sad--if we had known how expensive they were, we would have quickly donated them.
Many thanks and probably some homemade gift of thank you if anyone by chance is willing and able to donate some.
Soooo....I thought I'd try this. I'm going to buy enough to get me through the tww and a little beyond. But I know that we had a crapload leftover after S.'s IVF, and just let them expire. So, so sad--if we had known how expensive they were, we would have quickly donated them.
Many thanks and probably some homemade gift of thank you if anyone by chance is willing and able to donate some.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Growing, changing, cleaning
We are god-awful bloggers. The school year's start always knocks us back on our asses for a bit, but then suddenly around weeks 2-3 or so, we look around and feel like, hey, we're actually in a routine of sorts here, which gets us motivated to start at things yet again. For instance, this weekend, we "real cleaned" our whole house (as opposed to fake cleaning where we just pick up and wash a couple of toilets--we're talking the full royal treatment of dusting, vacuuming, picking up, laundry and even re-caulking the bathtub! Woo hoo!). It felt--oddly good. And hey, what else is there to do, really, on a rainy fall afternoon?
Oh, I love saying that...fall afternoon...the phrase just makes me feel gooey inside.
I am such a New England girl, as is S. I heart fall with all its New England magnificence--the apples, the last-of-the-season crops and canning and freezing the harvest, the leaves, the crisp weather, the sweaters. Oh me oh my. Wrap me up in a warm sweater on a sunny, crisp day, point me to some maple trees blazing orange, and put a cup of warm apple cider in my hand and I'm yours.
Though fall is the season where everything prepares for dying, for hibernating, for hunkering down, we're ready to do TTC #2 imminently. Flo finally showed (wasn't sure she would show up on time after last month), and I was cleared to try another transfer with our last remaining two embryos. To say I feel some pressure is an understatement. But...I am trying to keep my cool. I feel great right now. Of course, it's day 2, so naturally I would. As the transfer date nears, assuming all goes well with body, I'm sure I'll be much less cool.
Other thoughts drifting through my mind include: H1N1 vaccine? Anyone getting it? Anyone getting it for their kiddos? We are fairly certain that Theo will not be getting one, and are not sure of ourselves. Luckily for us, he is the only baby at his babysitter's house, but he does go into S.'s school a fair amount. Hmm..what to do, what to do...
Then there's Theo's inevitable bloom into a baby-toddler. Not quite a toddler yet, though toddling is his preferred method of transportation. His first haircut happened last weekend (his cute curls of summer were starting to turn into a rat tail). He babbles and does his version of talking non-stop, is signing away, and out of the blue learned to shake his head "yes." No idea where that one came from!
I wouldn't dream of leaving you without any pics of our burgeoning baby-toddler, so below, Theo on haircut day (free chop courtesy of Meme, S.'s mom and Theo's beloved grandmother. She cut all her kids hair and continues to give free haircuts to anyone who asks!). It was a traumatizing day for us, we won't lie...
Theo pre-cut. Cute whisps, but they get scraggly.
Figuring out the comb.
Mid-cut. We kept him still with crackers.
The final result! Such a big boy, it broke our hearts for a while.
Oh, I love saying that...fall afternoon...the phrase just makes me feel gooey inside.
I am such a New England girl, as is S. I heart fall with all its New England magnificence--the apples, the last-of-the-season crops and canning and freezing the harvest, the leaves, the crisp weather, the sweaters. Oh me oh my. Wrap me up in a warm sweater on a sunny, crisp day, point me to some maple trees blazing orange, and put a cup of warm apple cider in my hand and I'm yours.
Though fall is the season where everything prepares for dying, for hibernating, for hunkering down, we're ready to do TTC #2 imminently. Flo finally showed (wasn't sure she would show up on time after last month), and I was cleared to try another transfer with our last remaining two embryos. To say I feel some pressure is an understatement. But...I am trying to keep my cool. I feel great right now. Of course, it's day 2, so naturally I would. As the transfer date nears, assuming all goes well with body, I'm sure I'll be much less cool.
Other thoughts drifting through my mind include: H1N1 vaccine? Anyone getting it? Anyone getting it for their kiddos? We are fairly certain that Theo will not be getting one, and are not sure of ourselves. Luckily for us, he is the only baby at his babysitter's house, but he does go into S.'s school a fair amount. Hmm..what to do, what to do...
Then there's Theo's inevitable bloom into a baby-toddler. Not quite a toddler yet, though toddling is his preferred method of transportation. His first haircut happened last weekend (his cute curls of summer were starting to turn into a rat tail). He babbles and does his version of talking non-stop, is signing away, and out of the blue learned to shake his head "yes." No idea where that one came from!
I wouldn't dream of leaving you without any pics of our burgeoning baby-toddler, so below, Theo on haircut day (free chop courtesy of Meme, S.'s mom and Theo's beloved grandmother. She cut all her kids hair and continues to give free haircuts to anyone who asks!). It was a traumatizing day for us, we won't lie...
Theo pre-cut. Cute whisps, but they get scraggly.
Figuring out the comb.
Mid-cut. We kept him still with crackers.
The final result! Such a big boy, it broke our hearts for a while.Saturday, August 22, 2009
So, where was I?
Remember I said in my last post that I was "getting my body ready for try #2"? Yes. Well. We spent the last few days in NYC eating up a storm. Please, allow me to reveal to you my oh-so healthy diet over the past 4 days.
Breakfasts:
Bagels and cream cheese x3
Coffees (I at least made them decaf!)
Goat cheese & leek crepe
Lunches:
Pork soup dumplings, scallion pancakes, hot & sour soup
Leftover Indian food
Turkey sandwich with nitrate-laden lunch meat
Dinners:
Lamb sandwich & fries
Chicken sandwich & fries
Indian food
Dagwood sandwiches & grilled corn
Desserts:
Grilled peaches & vanilla ice cream
Rice pudding
Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia bar
Yeah. I know some very health-conscious and wicked awesome people are chronicling their adventures in smoothy-and juicy-ness right now, and I am jealous. Like, maybe I should be doing what they're doing, making my body a baby-making temple and all that. But whenever we go back to visit NYC, our visits center on all the awesome food we can only get there and NEED to eat and that doesn't exist in Western Mass. So, now that I've gotten all that out of my system, I am vowing to eat either from my garden, Trader Joe's, or the farmer's market. Any other suggestions for getting me fertile and squeaky-clean?
Breakfasts:
Bagels and cream cheese x3
Coffees (I at least made them decaf!)
Goat cheese & leek crepe
Lunches:
Pork soup dumplings, scallion pancakes, hot & sour soup
Leftover Indian food
Turkey sandwich with nitrate-laden lunch meat
Dinners:
Lamb sandwich & fries
Chicken sandwich & fries
Indian food
Dagwood sandwiches & grilled corn
Desserts:
Grilled peaches & vanilla ice cream
Rice pudding
Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia bar
Yeah. I know some very health-conscious and wicked awesome people are chronicling their adventures in smoothy-and juicy-ness right now, and I am jealous. Like, maybe I should be doing what they're doing, making my body a baby-making temple and all that. But whenever we go back to visit NYC, our visits center on all the awesome food we can only get there and NEED to eat and that doesn't exist in Western Mass. So, now that I've gotten all that out of my system, I am vowing to eat either from my garden, Trader Joe's, or the farmer's market. Any other suggestions for getting me fertile and squeaky-clean?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Well, you're probably wondering what the hell is going on, right? Right. Sorry I disappeared there. I thought I really wanted to share all this, but then I didn't, but now I do again. Confused? So am I.
See, S. and I decided that this summer would be the perfect time to do try to knock me up for the first time. No schedule, no work, no classes, us being teachers and all. We decided a while back that I would be using some of the frozen embryos from S.'s IVF that produced Theo. The sibling would be 100% biologically related, and that meant a lot to both of us. Plus, our donor isn't currently available, so the plan was perfect. Our RE looooved this idea, thought it was great and fabulous and awesome. And, so did we.
So we did it. We had to manipulate my body with birth control pills, but eventually my hormones cooperated, my protocol was followed, and a transfer ensued. Two embryos, by the way, because they are frozen in pairs. Yes, we were petrified of twins, but forged ahead.
And..guess what? I got pregnant!!! And guess what? Now I am not.
I got a great beta number 11 dpt (they were 3-day embryos), then the next beta, not so much. In the meantime, I started cramping a bit, and there was an eeensy-weensy bit of spotting. This is, of course, the day before we are to leave for vacation. Go figure.
We went ahead and left for vacation anyway, and I ended up getting another beta down in RI. The number wasn't good. It was over. I stopped my meds, my patches, and let nature tell me what was going to happen next.
And then it did. Painfully. I was most definitely not pregnant. The beautiful lining I'd been building up for weeks and weeks, plus the implanted embryos, all left me. But it was quick--the bleeding stopped after just 3 days or so. Was it a miscarriage? S. would call it so, but for me, I am loathe to call it that. It was so early, just 4 weeks or so. The word doesn't seem to fit. But, I don't know what else to say, other than--I was pregnant, now I am not.
So now what? Well, we're getting over it (I think we're both fine now), and waiting for my hcg to go back to baseline so I can get the all clear to try again. I am panicked and nerve-wracked over this. We have one more pair of embryos frozen, but the what-if monster keeps running through my head--what-if this doesn't work? Will Theo ever get a sibling? What-if the donor is never available again? What-if, what-if, what-if....
But then again..I got pregnant. Now I know my body can be pregnant. Can it stay pregnant? So...what-if it works this time? I have to stay positive (NOT in my nature, but I'm trying) and just go with the flow, I think.
There is my news. I'm sorry to share it so late. We told literally 3 people about the transfer. I didn't want to have to back track. And as it turned out, I'm glad we told no one, as the backtracking would have been necessary.
Fingers crossed as I get my body prepared for try #2.
See, S. and I decided that this summer would be the perfect time to do try to knock me up for the first time. No schedule, no work, no classes, us being teachers and all. We decided a while back that I would be using some of the frozen embryos from S.'s IVF that produced Theo. The sibling would be 100% biologically related, and that meant a lot to both of us. Plus, our donor isn't currently available, so the plan was perfect. Our RE looooved this idea, thought it was great and fabulous and awesome. And, so did we.
So we did it. We had to manipulate my body with birth control pills, but eventually my hormones cooperated, my protocol was followed, and a transfer ensued. Two embryos, by the way, because they are frozen in pairs. Yes, we were petrified of twins, but forged ahead.
And..guess what? I got pregnant!!! And guess what? Now I am not.
I got a great beta number 11 dpt (they were 3-day embryos), then the next beta, not so much. In the meantime, I started cramping a bit, and there was an eeensy-weensy bit of spotting. This is, of course, the day before we are to leave for vacation. Go figure.
We went ahead and left for vacation anyway, and I ended up getting another beta down in RI. The number wasn't good. It was over. I stopped my meds, my patches, and let nature tell me what was going to happen next.
And then it did. Painfully. I was most definitely not pregnant. The beautiful lining I'd been building up for weeks and weeks, plus the implanted embryos, all left me. But it was quick--the bleeding stopped after just 3 days or so. Was it a miscarriage? S. would call it so, but for me, I am loathe to call it that. It was so early, just 4 weeks or so. The word doesn't seem to fit. But, I don't know what else to say, other than--I was pregnant, now I am not.
So now what? Well, we're getting over it (I think we're both fine now), and waiting for my hcg to go back to baseline so I can get the all clear to try again. I am panicked and nerve-wracked over this. We have one more pair of embryos frozen, but the what-if monster keeps running through my head--what-if this doesn't work? Will Theo ever get a sibling? What-if the donor is never available again? What-if, what-if, what-if....
But then again..I got pregnant. Now I know my body can be pregnant. Can it stay pregnant? So...what-if it works this time? I have to stay positive (NOT in my nature, but I'm trying) and just go with the flow, I think.
There is my news. I'm sorry to share it so late. We told literally 3 people about the transfer. I didn't want to have to back track. And as it turned out, I'm glad we told no one, as the backtracking would have been necessary.
Fingers crossed as I get my body prepared for try #2.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
I have a lot of things to say and get off my chest-yes, we did something, something happened, but probably not what you're thinking (sorry to be so cryptic--S. is right, I am the quiet one), but right now it's still vacation and I'm not ready to talk yet. So, in the meantime, I will regale you all with photos of what has been a near-perfect week at the beach. Our first week in RI, we stayed in a miniscule cottage on a gorgeous salt-water pond but with voracious mosquitos; now, we are at my parents' summer home in RI, which they haven't used in 15 years because they've been renting it out. This year they reclaimed it for their own personal use. It's still a work in progress, but it's nice to be back here after so many absent summers.
Proof of the fun:
Kayaking on the saltwater pond where our cottage was (S. and I both dumped ourselves out of our respective kayaks on the shore--idiots!)
In the beach pool--Theo was a little intimidated by the shoreline, but loves splashing around in the water and crawling in the sand
Sunset on the beach
Headed down the sand bank
Dinner on the beach at sunset
Proof of the fun:
Kayaking on the saltwater pond where our cottage was (S. and I both dumped ourselves out of our respective kayaks on the shore--idiots!)
In the beach pool--Theo was a little intimidated by the shoreline, but loves splashing around in the water and crawling in the sand
Sunset on the beach
Headed down the sand bank
Dinner on the beach at sunset
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Theo-boy has at least two enduring loves in his life so far--water and wheels. He'd take wheels over water anytime, but if there's water on the way to his wheels, well, then, that's another matter. If he can have both at once, I daresay he'd be blissfully happy. Someday, I'm sure he'll get a kick out of going through a carwash. For now, we set up a kiddie pool on our patio, and he usually stops and splashes about for a bit en route to the wheels--aka the cars in our driveway. Below, examples of said loves.
Splashing in the pool
Checking out the car
Ouchies bare feet on the driveway (he never seems to care much that there are hundreds of tiny rocks puncturing his feet, but we do!)
Stud-man on Uncle Pete and Aunt Stacey's beloved Subaru. Whose kid is this? Future mechanic? It would come in handy seeing as we just blew $700 on new brakes for our other car.
Splashing in the pool
Checking out the car
Ouchies bare feet on the driveway (he never seems to care much that there are hundreds of tiny rocks puncturing his feet, but we do!)
Stud-man on Uncle Pete and Aunt Stacey's beloved Subaru. Whose kid is this? Future mechanic? It would come in handy seeing as we just blew $700 on new brakes for our other car.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Mammas are Amazed
Well, we've finally hit the big one. You know, the big ONE--to the surprise of exactly no one except his mammas, Theodore Lee turns one-year-old today. I know, I know--I won't say much new here that other mammas with suddenly and unexpected one-year-olds haven't already said, but what the....? A year? Seriously? I mean, my baby is a...a...boy. A little, trouble-making boy.
So, what does our one-year-old little boy do? Well, no words yet, except for the usual "Mama" or "Mom" sounds, and "Uh-oh!" when something isn't quite going his way (like right now, he really, really wants the door to the baby gate to open but the darn thing seems to be locked somehow..."Uh-oh!") He does talk, however, and quite emphatically. Something along the lines of "Ahh doo nuh nuh DAAAHH DOOOOW!" He also speaks Parseltongue. (If you never read any Harry Potter, this will make no sense to you whatsoever). I swear when he's looking at his bottle, he whispers sweet nothings to it in a language only he and Voldemort can understand.
He brushes his teeth and can point to his head, mouth, and belly. He does not walk, but cruises ad infinitum and crawls at breakneck pace. If there are a garagefull of toys in the yard, he will completely ignore all the ones that don't have wheels, and then make a bee-line to the gravel driveway where he'll often stand in bare feet (um, ouchies) and do laps around our cars. That boy loves him some big wheels.
I could go on and on about the things he does that exactly no one else would find interesting except for us, so I'll just stop it all and again stare in disbelief at my one-year-old and be continually awed by his progress and stare in wonder as I attempt to catch just one single moment of him today--turning a year. Happy Birthday (no-longer-baby) Theo!
So, what does our one-year-old little boy do? Well, no words yet, except for the usual "Mama" or "Mom" sounds, and "Uh-oh!" when something isn't quite going his way (like right now, he really, really wants the door to the baby gate to open but the darn thing seems to be locked somehow..."Uh-oh!") He does talk, however, and quite emphatically. Something along the lines of "Ahh doo nuh nuh DAAAHH DOOOOW!" He also speaks Parseltongue. (If you never read any Harry Potter, this will make no sense to you whatsoever). I swear when he's looking at his bottle, he whispers sweet nothings to it in a language only he and Voldemort can understand.
He brushes his teeth and can point to his head, mouth, and belly. He does not walk, but cruises ad infinitum and crawls at breakneck pace. If there are a garagefull of toys in the yard, he will completely ignore all the ones that don't have wheels, and then make a bee-line to the gravel driveway where he'll often stand in bare feet (um, ouchies) and do laps around our cars. That boy loves him some big wheels.
I could go on and on about the things he does that exactly no one else would find interesting except for us, so I'll just stop it all and again stare in disbelief at my one-year-old and be continually awed by his progress and stare in wonder as I attempt to catch just one single moment of him today--turning a year. Happy Birthday (no-longer-baby) Theo!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Birthday Boy!
We had Theo's Birthday party this weekend. This was the invite for his luau:
We ended up with a beautiful day (after a rainy morning), delicious food (and authentic thanks to my dad), and tons of family and friends (including C's dad - first time ever). It was the best best day. I had a intense "I'm the mom" moment when I had to cut the cake. It's always a task I give away gladly to whatever mom is in charge. Oh, that's me.
My mom made the cake and Theo ate it!!
And loved it!!!! And now, our family room looks like a toy store....lucky lucky boy. Even luckier mommas.
We ended up with a beautiful day (after a rainy morning), delicious food (and authentic thanks to my dad), and tons of family and friends (including C's dad - first time ever). It was the best best day. I had a intense "I'm the mom" moment when I had to cut the cake. It's always a task I give away gladly to whatever mom is in charge. Oh, that's me.
My mom made the cake and Theo ate it!!
And loved it!!!! And now, our family room looks like a toy store....lucky lucky boy. Even luckier mommas.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
I'd like a second helping, please.
There's a resurgence of babymaking going on these days. I love it. I'm not saying the BFPs are rolling in yet...but there could be second babies in homes next year. We've got the ladies making famblys , the two moms are at it again and the O family's growing too. Oh look at the optimism back in my voice. You think the years of trying, the countless BFNs and the jaded outlook would come storming back - but I'm remarkably calm. I'm not sure why - maybe time has healed the wounds or maybe because it's because it's not my body, so there's more faith. I'd hoped C. would talk more about it, but she's a quiet one. I respect that. We balance each other out in that way. If it were me I'm sure you'd be hearing about my cooch much more often. Lucky you.
That's crazy ladies. Siblings. Yikes. Is Theo ready for that?
Here's my new favorite picture of my bruiser. Watch out baby!
-S.
That's crazy ladies. Siblings. Yikes. Is Theo ready for that?
Here's my new favorite picture of my bruiser. Watch out baby!
-S.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Why didn't someone tell us that traveling with a baby is so exhausting? Between the many hours in the car, the constant following him around a non-babyproofed houses, trying to see and do it all (our own fault) and the not sleeping so well in a pack-n-play, we are worn-ass-out. Theo was so relieved to get home and play and crawl around with his toys, and us...we were happy to sit and watch.
Lest I leave you with the impression that we didn't have a FABULOUS time...
Highlights of trip in pictures:
Theo at the Capitol building
Theo's favorite part of Camden Yards
While Cousin J. says "Go, O's!" we know the Sox rock!
The weather was perfect, the company even better. We had a great visit to Philly and Baltimore. What a great way to kick off summer!
-sp
Lest I leave you with the impression that we didn't have a FABULOUS time...
Highlights of trip in pictures:
Theo at the Capitol building
Theo's favorite part of Camden Yards
While Cousin J. says "Go, O's!" we know the Sox rock!
The weather was perfect, the company even better. We had a great visit to Philly and Baltimore. What a great way to kick off summer!
-sp
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I want to be a better, more active part of this community. I started with a little bloggy facelift (nothing ground-breaking, so don't feel like those of you reading in a feed need to click over!) I intend to comment more and post more often. Lofty. Plus, things are about to get a little more interesting. bah bah bhum...that should keep you coming back.
I'm not finished tweaking here...l'll take into account some of C's opinions too. For one, I'm not sure I want a blog roll, since I have them all in Reader. And, from here on, we will sign our entries, as our colors didn't all transfer with us, depending on the template I picked.
All aboard!
Oh yeah. What brought on this sudden burst of energy and committment? The beginning of summer and the last day of school! YAHOO.
I'm not finished tweaking here...l'll take into account some of C's opinions too. For one, I'm not sure I want a blog roll, since I have them all in Reader. And, from here on, we will sign our entries, as our colors didn't all transfer with us, depending on the template I picked.
All aboard!
Oh yeah. What brought on this sudden burst of energy and committment? The beginning of summer and the last day of school! YAHOO.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The seasons a-changing
I'm counting on the solstice to turn some things around for us over here in cute baby town.
Spring was tough. I usually love the season, with lilacs and birthdays and all that. I went into hibernation a bit. Too much to handle with Meme's death, Auntie Rita's death, my mom's deep sadness, Ringo's death, fear of the pink slip at work, eventual involuntary transfer notice from a school I adore and the class from hell (yes, I don't blog much about work, but it was BY FAR the most challenging (aka pain-in-the-ass) group I have taught in 11 years.) Between weddings and funerals, we have had no time at home to just be outside in the garden. And the rain, the fucking rain.
Summer is coming. 1/2 day of school left. I am teaching summer school but it is a much lighter load of children and classes meet only 3 hours/day 4 days/week. We have things to look forward to. Theo's FIRST birthday. 4th of July with friends. Red Sox in Camden Yards with cousin Jackson. A week on the beach. Time to garden. Teeth coming, more words, more laughing. Time together.
And a big one...continued ttc. I'm not sure how to talk about this one. We have some IRL readers these days. C. may not be ready to share this info. I'll follow her lead I guess. We would really miss out on the camaraderie and support of this community though, especially when we need it the most. Perhaps a move to Wordpress where we can password protect? Has that been good for people? I've never been into total anonymity, but I don't want to let it hang out there either.
It's good to be back. Hope you're still there.
Spring was tough. I usually love the season, with lilacs and birthdays and all that. I went into hibernation a bit. Too much to handle with Meme's death, Auntie Rita's death, my mom's deep sadness, Ringo's death, fear of the pink slip at work, eventual involuntary transfer notice from a school I adore and the class from hell (yes, I don't blog much about work, but it was BY FAR the most challenging (aka pain-in-the-ass) group I have taught in 11 years.) Between weddings and funerals, we have had no time at home to just be outside in the garden. And the rain, the fucking rain.
Summer is coming. 1/2 day of school left. I am teaching summer school but it is a much lighter load of children and classes meet only 3 hours/day 4 days/week. We have things to look forward to. Theo's FIRST birthday. 4th of July with friends. Red Sox in Camden Yards with cousin Jackson. A week on the beach. Time to garden. Teeth coming, more words, more laughing. Time together.
And a big one...continued ttc. I'm not sure how to talk about this one. We have some IRL readers these days. C. may not be ready to share this info. I'll follow her lead I guess. We would really miss out on the camaraderie and support of this community though, especially when we need it the most. Perhaps a move to Wordpress where we can password protect? Has that been good for people? I've never been into total anonymity, but I don't want to let it hang out there either.
It's good to be back. Hope you're still there.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Well...yes, yes, here come the excuses. It's the end of the school year (teachers should know this excuse is sufficient enough!). We've been busy traveling--a wedding last weekend, another funeral the week before, believe it or not (S.'s grandmother's sister). It's just been---crazy. Guess what we get to do this weekend? N-O-T-H-I-N-G. And we will love every second of it. We have "plans" already (apparantly we cannot sit still) -- working in the yard will be a MUST this weekend. That lawn won't mow itself. Although the weather in New England has been less than inspiring to get out in the yard and work this week, we did manage to pick some radishes and lettuce from our garden, which is a tease for all the other bounty to come. If only the sun would come out, maybe the other veggies could actually GROW!
I'll leave you with some beach pics of Theo--his first trip there with our friend S. down on the shore in Connecticut. It was a beautiful weekend for hanging on the beach, although the water hasn't quite warmed up yet. Theo was a fan, but not so much of his sunhat. That fair-haired boy will need one stitched onto his head this summer or have his hair doused in sunscreen.
I'll leave you with some beach pics of Theo--his first trip there with our friend S. down on the shore in Connecticut. It was a beautiful weekend for hanging on the beach, although the water hasn't quite warmed up yet. Theo was a fan, but not so much of his sunhat. That fair-haired boy will need one stitched onto his head this summer or have his hair doused in sunscreen.
Sand in the mouth? It doesn't taste so bad!
Mom, do I really have to wear this stupid hat?!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Red, White and Cute
Memorial Day. We have a five-minute-long parade that comes down our street, but we get out our red, white, and blue anyway. You can see Theo enjoys his American paraphernalia.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Way too long of a week
This week has been a tough one for us, which accounts for our long stretch of silence. (I know there's always an excuse somewhere embedded in our lives now with a little monster crawling/climbing/cruising around.) We endured a couple of losses since Monday, both of which have taken a toll on us. First, S. lost her precious Meme, her grandmother who was the most loving lady around. She loved and accepted me from the beginning, and absolutely adored Theo. She was a very, very special person to everyone, and her passing hit us hard.
Then, the next day (I'm not even joking--you can't make this stuff up) .... our dog died. Yes, our doggy love, Ringo. We've blogged many-a-time about little Ringo. He was an incredibly special dog. He came from Animal Control in Brooklyn and leaped right into our life from the second we saw him in that shelter. He was the loviest dog ever--and he so loved Theo! Ringo was protective of him from the second we brought him home from the hospital--chasing the cat away, and just seeming to understand that he was a special something to care for. He never barked, he always ate Theo's food mess off the floor (the best vacuum cleaner!), and loved everyone. His heart just stopped--he was sick for some time, but the timing of it all just seems so unfair.
We are still devastated over our losses. It is strange to think we won't see Meme the next time we go to visit S.'s aunt (she lived there), and it still feels a bit still at our house with no little white fluff ball underfoot (Theo doesn't count). So, we're moving on, slowly.
I must not neglect S.'s birthday in all of this chaos, which is today. We had an impromptu family party yesterday with ice cream cake--yummmmmmmy!
I love you, doll. Happy Birthday. Sleep in as long as you want, then we're making you breakfast.
Then, the next day (I'm not even joking--you can't make this stuff up) .... our dog died. Yes, our doggy love, Ringo. We've blogged many-a-time about little Ringo. He was an incredibly special dog. He came from Animal Control in Brooklyn and leaped right into our life from the second we saw him in that shelter. He was the loviest dog ever--and he so loved Theo! Ringo was protective of him from the second we brought him home from the hospital--chasing the cat away, and just seeming to understand that he was a special something to care for. He never barked, he always ate Theo's food mess off the floor (the best vacuum cleaner!), and loved everyone. His heart just stopped--he was sick for some time, but the timing of it all just seems so unfair.
We are still devastated over our losses. It is strange to think we won't see Meme the next time we go to visit S.'s aunt (she lived there), and it still feels a bit still at our house with no little white fluff ball underfoot (Theo doesn't count). So, we're moving on, slowly.
I must not neglect S.'s birthday in all of this chaos, which is today. We had an impromptu family party yesterday with ice cream cake--yummmmmmmy!
I love you, doll. Happy Birthday. Sleep in as long as you want, then we're making you breakfast.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
I miss New York. As I sit in our UES rental apartment and I can just imagine my fantasy life. I want to be a lunching lady! I want to meet my friends, from RCDS, MHC, and beyond and have lunch with our small children followed by a playdate at our gorgeous apartments. Of course in my fantasy we own this posh apartment, we don't work, and our children are always well-behaved. :)
I don't even really care that our vacation is being rained out. I love feeling like I live here again. We even ordered in from Falafel House - this tiny hole-in-the-wall by our old 91st street apartment. Our aparment, by the way, is rocking. It's on the 17th floor of a great doorman building. It has huge beautiful windows and a balcony. Perfect. Oh, and every little boy deserves a huge bathtub.
I had a great day. Here's proof.
I don't even really care that our vacation is being rained out. I love feeling like I live here again. We even ordered in from Falafel House - this tiny hole-in-the-wall by our old 91st street apartment. Our aparment, by the way, is rocking. It's on the 17th floor of a great doorman building. It has huge beautiful windows and a balcony. Perfect. Oh, and every little boy deserves a huge bathtub.
I had a great day. Here's proof.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
I am mom - hear me roar!
Easter day - let me set the scene. My parent's house, usual relatives are there - meme, aunts, cousins, cousin's cute, lovable, but crazy children. Before brunch. Theo dressed to the nines.
Everyone enjoying each other's company, as it has been a long time.
I go talk to my cousin and cousin-in-law who are holding Theo and they keep turning away from me. Finally, I get around and I see what they are hiding from me. They are FEEDING MY SON A FUCKING COOKIE. Yes, an anise cookie with frosting and sprinkles. My son who gets carefully chosen, organic, homemade babyfood. Is eating a cookie. The mom came out in me. It was fucking ferocious. I yell, in front of everyone (me - who usually pushes just about everything under the rug until it boils up inside of me and spills out on C.), "I am beyond pissed - give me him!" and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I was literally shaking with fury as I cleaned him up.
It pissed me off on so many levels. It's beyond the cookie-eating. For five years, I have watched her be a mother as she gives her kids candy (1 1/2 year old ate jellybeans like there was no tomorrow), cookies, and junk from morning to night. Smokes through pregnancy and around them. Spanks them when she's fed up. And judge, yes I did. But I never said or did anything because what I think doesn't really matter. I respected her as the mother. Not a good one..but the mother. And she couldn't pay that same respect back. She KNEW I wouldn't give him a cookie but thought she knew better??? wtf?
After her apology when I told her that if she was confused about why we eat and feed Theo organically I would explain it to her, she called me weird. Ignorant.
The sprinkles? All down his brand new Easter outfit. I know...lame reason to be mad, but goddamnit I like my kid to look neat. No boogey faces, wild hair and stained dresses here.
And how about possible egg allergies? Refined sugar before one year of age?
And you know what? It should have been us who gave him his first cookie. It should have been us who enjoyed that big smile, eager eyes and wild tongue that couldn't get enough of the sweetness.
Here he is Easter morning with the bunny from his basket!
-S.
p.s. We found a place in NYC (on the UES, our old neigborhood)! Yippee! Coming Sunday, leaving Thursday if anyone's up for a playdate!
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Know any New Yorkers leaving the city any time between April 19-25? Know any cheapish hotels? Anyone wanting to see the Northampton area/foothills of the Berkshires? We're coming into town with a very good family friend to do some college tours and our usually home sweet city home is a little crowded for us now with friend and baby. Just 2 or 3 days we are looking for. Let me know if you can help us out.
On another note. I want to emphatically state what everyone already knows. Being a working mom is so hard. I thought I was going to lose it last week and ended up taking a "mental health" day on Friday. Between school work (report cards go home on Thursday), housework (book club meets here on Wednesday), meal planning (for us, Theo and the book club), errands (out of disposables, wipes, and organic cheerios), yardwork (raking, deadheading, planting peas) and not sleeping (4am wake-ups thanks to a tooth), I was highly stressed and couldn't see when it would all get done. I'm definitely feeling better now that the weekend is over. When I have so many things on my plate I don't know what to concentrate on. I get overwhelmed too easily I think. Between the two of us, we were able to get just about everything done - and even enjoyed Sushi out last night. Breath deep... here comes another week.
I leave you with the doodlebug and his doggy who he has come to know and love.
Friday, April 03, 2009
wham bam whoo yah!
Those would be my words for Iowa on this very lovely, historic day. Let us hope and wish and pray (if you are inclined to do so) we don't see a Prop 8-style repeat. Brick by brick, my friends..
In other news, Theo's first tooth officially broke on through last Thursday. Then he got sick. Madness and poor sleeping habits swiftly followed. It's not been a fun week. But, it's over. That's about as much as I can say about it. Good thoughts for the next week, until the next tooth (or cold) may come.
In other news, Theo's first tooth officially broke on through last Thursday. Then he got sick. Madness and poor sleeping habits swiftly followed. It's not been a fun week. But, it's over. That's about as much as I can say about it. Good thoughts for the next week, until the next tooth (or cold) may come.
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