Saturday, November 21, 2009

There's nothing like being around my cousin to make me think about parenting styles. Let me preface by saying we are over what happened at Easter. We've lost our grandmother since, our mothers are super-close, it's important to let bygones be bygones. I do love her. But.

It. is. so. damn. frustrating. to. be. around. her. I just don't get when people don't think about their parenting. The consequences, the modeling, the morals to instill, the praise and encouragement to bestow. I am not saying I am perfect, nor am I saying that my way is better than your way, though I guess when it comes right down to it, I am judging - I can't help it. She commented on how she can't understand how her daughter doesn't understand not to play with the toothpaste, even though she has been spanked 10 times for it. Um, hello, spanking is not then working. Try something new. MOVE the toothpaste. She's questioning vaccines, as her oldest was diagnosed autistic, as she takes a huge drag of her cigarette. Time after time, thing after thing.

I guess it's because I surround myself with people who do make good conscious decisions, and think about the impact of their actions. I just am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that not everyone does. Educate yourselves, mothers! Read about vaccines, and food ingredients, and discipline models, and child development, and parenting styles, and plastics, and "screen time", and developmentally appropriate toys. The information is all out there. It's not hard to find. Educate yourself and make the best decision for your family.

I'm feeling a little "high and mighty" as I reread the post. Questioned deleting it, but I'm gonna put it out there even though it's all still a-ramblin' around in my head and not yet quite making sense.


Candi said...

i completely agree with you. Its hard not to judge. I mean i dont have my own kids yet. But i am around kids all day. Im an educator in a daycare. And i completely agree with you.

Dont feel bad that you are judging her, thats totally normal. and you're right.. move the toothpaste, and in the states isnt against the law to spank ?

Anonymous said...

Amen! The worst parenting style is the one that goes with out any thought!

Lo said...

Oh, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Co and I try to separate out the advantage we have being educators (as you both are as well) but even so, it seems like some people don't parent thoughtfully, or even use common sense (yeah, if you do something 10 times and it doesn't work, might be time to move on....)

Laura said...

I feel like I share your logic and I tend to extend it beyond just child-rearing. We live in a society where so much information is accessible to us, either through TV or internet, or other means. It is beyond me how people remain ignorant about things like gay rights, racism, political issues (, the shear amount of people who don't actually know the definition of the world "socialism"???), or even simple freakin' table manners, when a quick google search can answer almost any question one might have. But maybe that's the problem...we were spoiled by our little group of friends because we were taught to ask questions at MHC. Not everyone had that luxury. :)